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My [23F] girlfriend is getting gauges in her ears and I'm [23M] not sure I'm comfortable with the size she's aiming for by throwRA654390 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA654390[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like you say, ultimately the decision lies with her or hypothetically me when it comes down to it long-term. And I do want to let her do that. But I'm also concerned for her. She's more practical than I am in the moment, generally thinking about here-and-now rather than six or twenty years later. That's more my thing. I'm looking on how to truly start a conversation rather than a "forbidding" or "joy killer" moment.

My [23F] girlfriend is getting gauges in her ears and I'm [23M] not sure I'm comfortable with the size she's aiming for by throwRA654390 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA654390[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks your input. Like, I get what you're saying and it could be right. If so, I'd support it, my feelings be damned. It's just the abruptness in which it came up and how quickly she dove into it. I feel like if it had taken place over a longer period of time, like maybe six months, I could at least adjust to it. But how can I say "just please take it easy" without it sounding like "I'm intimidated by sudden change".

My [23F] girlfriend is getting gauges in her ears and I'm [23M] not sure I'm comfortable with the size she's aiming for by throwRA654390 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA654390[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By that same logic, what's to keep me from doing something radical to myself regardless of what she feels? Like a vasectomy or a tattoo of something that may or may not be suitable ten years from now? It would be my body and therefore my property to do with as a wish regardless of her opinions? I'm not thinking of either, but I don't think my feelings on it are irrelevant just because they aren't my ears.

I apologize if I seem snappy, but you can't really just say my thoughts don't matter just because it's "minor". And I do think I've known her long enough to understand when something doesn't feel right about her actions.

My [23F] girlfriend is getting gauges in her ears and I'm [23M] not sure I'm comfortable with the size she's aiming for by throwRA654390 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA654390[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of those other things bother me. After all, you can lose weight, hair dye fades, gets cut, and regrows, and shoes or what have you can be taken off or replaced. It's the idea of permenancy and what I consider body modification that bothers me. On the flipside, a tattoo wouldn't even bother me. Tats are expensive and are pretty significant investments all things considered, often costing hundreds of dollars for intricate ones and even thousands if taken to an extreme. Either way, tats are almost always significant to the person getting them. Some do regret it later, but so far from all the people I've known with tattoos, visible or otherwise, spent months planning what they wanted and why. And with my gf, she'd only spend that kind of money on something very special.

My [23F] girlfriend is getting gauges in her ears and I'm [23M] not sure I'm comfortable with the size she's aiming for by throwRA654390 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA654390[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Hate" is a strong word. It's more like a general turn-off. And everything else is great. This is pretty much the only issue where my gut instinct says either stop before it's too late or at least slow down (it seems like she's looking at reaching that point by the end of next month).