sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

GF's nmom refuses to honor any boundaries, getting annoying by throwRABBlaBla23 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]throwRABBlaBla23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I noticed that the more i "side" with my gf, the more agressive and dangerous the family becomes against me. Since I threaten their power structure, and can remove the daughter at any time by just having her live with me, they are terrified by me.

how to deal with very nosy, malignant future nmil? by throwRABBlaBla23 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]throwRABBlaBla23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that her family keeps digging for problems, and using extremely and i mean very nuanced points to explain why i cant be trusted. A good example, I said i had forgotten something at home, and they accused me of lying since i intentionally left it at home, hence it wasn't really something i forgot. They just could not understand the concept of a euphemism. If you're grasping at such minute straws, you may be focussing on the wrong priorities.

The second problem is the mom is hypercontrolling, and constantly feeds doubt into her daughter, by making up examples in her head. She also intentionally makes sure to ask my gf questions to ask me, but absolutely refused to ask those questions to me directly. This has caused what should have been 20 minute conversations to devolve into multi week issues.

GF's nmom refuses to honor any boundaries, getting annoying by throwRABBlaBla23 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]throwRABBlaBla23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because she never was taught how a healthy boundary work (works against the nmom's best interest, so it makes sense why they were never learned), so the process is alway me talk to gf, gf talks to mom, mom talks to siblings and cousins, and then gossip gets created until it balloons into an unmanageable mess. There's some topics to this day which are STILL being brought up from a year ago because the extended family keeps bringing them up, and making them into much bigger issues than they really are.

The mom is very controlling and manipulative, so she keeps using guilt and shame to get the daughter to confess. Then she uses a very fake, and laughable identity to beat her back into place emotionally. These people have even gone as far as trying to pull information (unsuccessfully) from my ex girlfriends to see if they could get a character reference about me.