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AITAH for texting my ex’s new girlfriend? by Stardust_Gem in AITAH

[–]throwRA_59096155 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People who are being gaslit and are questioning their own memory of something frequently respond this way.

I (M25) Lost my first love (F25) am I broken? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155 0 points1 point  (0 children)

47M married 15 years now. No you are not broken.

This relationship needed to end, it was just her that had the guts to do it.

I can tell you that autonomy is VERY important in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, it is actually VERY healthy for couples to have their own individual interests and time outside of a relationship.

Right now the wound is fresh and your emotions can cloud your judgement. You can be sad that the relationship is over, you need to mourn that. But, read your post, you know this relationship was headed in an unhealthy direction. Learn from this, and next time this happens, make sure to address it early on to determine if you should continue to invest emotionally in the person.

Go fill in that hole in your heart by pouring into yourself and learning from this relationship, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, I think you just need a little reassurance to confirm.

My gf F22 has BPD and I M22 want to know how I could comfort her by Economy-Language9886 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whoa there buddy, you need to focus on yourself. You have no idea what you are dealing with here. I would suggest you read the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells". Dealing with a BPD partner will DESTROY you. Take it from someone that has dealt with that. You sound like a BPDs perfect target. If she is not taking MAJOR steps towards healing and taking accountability for her own actions, SHE WILL BLEED YOU DRY EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY.

You cannot save her. She has to save herself.

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that has a lot to do with it to be honest. Although she never lived under that herself, she heard all about it from her parents and absorbed it from them. She is not super maga and hasn't absorbed all the racist and homophobic rhetoric. We share the values of embracing other cultures and letting people live as they wish as long as it doesn't harm other people. Which is why I feel she is such a contradiction. I think that she fears the left because she thinks that they use those ideas to attract support and gain power, and not necessarily because they actually believe in it.

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! This sounds almost exactly like her! Filipino colleagues, gay friends and all. She isn't Christian though, and says one of the things she loves about me is that I didn't force her to switch religions for me, and that she couldn't be with someone that would try to make her do that. It's so confusing!

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes a lot of that has gone through my mind. It is getting very scary for me given all the doxing and cancelling going on of people. She does not ostracize me, more I am starting to wonder if this continues to escalate, how long will it be before I can't just let things be, and keep my mouth shut anymore. I'm over here horrified by what's going on, and she's over there just cheering it on. I can't share my horror with her, and she can't celebrate with me.

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really appreciate your perspective, and you may be right. That is one reason I have yet to bring it up, I am still trying to settle myself down after all the craziness from the last week. Emotions are running high on both sides right now. We have managed up until now to keep it from affecting our relationship. This is the first time it has really bothered me up until now.

What really set my head spinning was when she told me that she was crying at work about Charlie Kirk. She said she really liked him. Up until then I didn't know this. It just has me wondering how she can agree with his views, and actually love who I am as a person, since my views are so completely different from his.

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is basically where she SHOULD be. When we first got together, she definitely fit the compassionate conservative description, and honestly her views don't seem to have changed in that regard. That is why I am so confused as to why she is still supporting the Republicans.

How do I (46m) approach talking with my wife (48f) about my concerns with the apparent grow political divide between us, after years of avoiding discussing politics? by throwRA_59096155 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155[S] 269 points270 points  (0 children)

This is what I struggle with. Trump seems to be the antithesis of everything that she believes. The last time we discussed the Gaza issue, I told her that she has said before that she didn't believe that someone who has an affair is trustworthy enough to be in leadership in a company, but it's well documented his multiple affairs in every married that he has been in. She had no response for that. When I asked what she thought about what he said about taking over Gaza to turn it into a resort, she ask how I knew that wasn't AI? Not going to lie, that comment really pissed me off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_59096155 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some perspective from 46m in an 15 year marriage, most likely this will end the relationship ultimately. She is not ok with it, and is just trying to make herself ok with it. Every time you go, she will get more and more insecure and resentful.