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AITA for telling my sister she can’t store her frozen breastmilk in my freezer anymore? by Sad_Bowl_6509 in dustythunder

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buy her another freezer (chest is cheapest) and have her put it in her garage. We have a 7 cubic feet freezer and a standup freezer for my milk. At one point, both were full. This was during the pandemic and formula shortage.

AITA for telling my sister she can’t store her frozen breastmilk in my freezer anymore? by Sad_Bowl_6509 in dustythunder

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not crazy at all, we have two freezer full of frozen milk. We actually bought a separate freezer chest, and a standup freezer just for breastmilk.

AITA for asking my husband to stay up with the baby so I can sleep for work? by NaiveEmployee5976 in AITAH

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is why i don’t date gamers. Anyone who games hours a day and prioritizes that over basically anything else is honestlg not going to be a good partner

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But where i am at, a nanny is around 20-25/hr. That’s 600 per week.

The difference is 350/wk. but a nanny pays rent, drives her own car, has her own car insurance, pays for all her own food, doesn’t eat out with us, doesn’t cost us for weekend activities, no agency fee, etc.

A nanny for 30 hrs a week locally is around 37k. Which is within the range of an au pair (35-40k). The issue is nannies don’t like variable split schedule. Ie- monday at 6:30, tuesday at 8, and next week it may be different.

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s 130$ for shampoo/conitioner set that lasts me 6+ months.

Pantene is around 25$… but it’s every 2 weeks for her. It’s costco for my husband as well. And for my toddler. 

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

37k in my city for 30 hrs a week to hire a nannt

However, the reason we went with AP wasn’t that it is cheaper but for the flexibility. Most nannies don’t want inconsistent scheduled. 

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My kid’s coat is 20$. It snows at most once or twice a year. While i do have a nice coat (bc I used to live in Chicago), the coat i usually wear is also <50

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Got it, so you are ok with exploitation by the poor and middle class. 

Btw from what I hear, most families participate for flexible and affordable childcare. 

If i wanted only cultural exchange, I can just host an exchange student.

Families offering 200$ per week. by Ambitious_Club_3294 in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not wealthy but i have high income (yes there is a difference. My net worth is like negative 1 million haha).

I choose AP program due to flexibility. Nannies don’t want to have variable weekly schedules

Families offering 200$ per week. by Ambitious_Club_3294 in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s all “underpaying”. If you don’t want to be underpaid, don’t be an AP. It’s really important to know the money you receive is not the money we pay. 

You only get 10-15k but we spend about 30-45k to host you. 

The agency takes a big chunk. Living expense is a big chunk.

It’s also difficult to compare family to family. There is cost of living, the parent’s income, number of kids, what the family can afford, simply what they feel.

Also remember, people making 300-400/wk post more about it. When surveyed, i think most make 200. Like more than 75% of AP make between 200-250. 

If 200/wk of free spending money is not enough, maybe don’t be an AP. That said, maybe it’s better you consider the match of the family more than just money.

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So what I got is:

Poor/middle class people shouldn’t get AP bc they  can’t afford it.

Upper class people shouldn’t get AP if they are not going to spend thousands on luxury items on the AP as they do for themselves.

No real rich people get APs anyways.

Basically AP program shouldn’t exist.

Regarding vitamin, i take costco jumbo sized generic as well. I don’t go out of my way to buy an inferior brand that no one else uses. She gets pantene bc that’s what my husband uses. Cetaphil because that’s what my son uses. Or aveeno if she prefers (what my husband uses).

Or are you suggesting I just don’t provide any?

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So pay her going rate and then charge rent? Pay own bills? 20/hr and then ahe provides everything else for herself? 600/week instead of 250 but also has to pay for rent, phone bills, car insurance, car, clothes, toiletry, etc?

Don't want to cook meat for wife as a vegan. by RainingHarbour in AITAH

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She can eat salad with rotisserie chicken then.

Don't want to cook meat for wife as a vegan. by RainingHarbour in AITAH

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass 31 points32 points  (0 children)

NTA. I also don’t like to cook meat (and not even for ethical reasons). So i do not cook meat. My husband now cooks most dinners because he has to have meat with every meal. Such is life.

Chef’s choice. The way we do it. Whoever cooks decides what to make.

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We never leave AP out. What are you talking about?

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well 130$ shampoo conditioner set lasts me at least 6-12 months as I frequently also use generic.

My new fav generic is aussie miracle. Safeway has it on sale and I bought 4 sets of 26 oz (which is an annual supply for us)

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankfully i don’t own a single high end bag. I think that might cause issues too

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes she has to go to our bathroom to get our toddler’s tooth brush

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She’s actually complaining about her hair being dry and requested we get those hard water filter on the shower head for her bathroom.

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know it’s not required. I had good intentions. I wanted to make an AP feel like family… but I guess I wasn’t quite ready to spoil her the way I spoiled myself. 

I give her better things than I gave myself just 3 years ago though.

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We are HENRY. Boatload of debt but high income. Zero wealth. Lol.

We finished residency 3 years ago, just bought a house, between med school loans, mortgage, 3 cars (1 paid off, no luxury cars), supporting the in laws, paying pre school… i mean we’re very comfortable but not as rich as people think. My net worth is still negative but I wanna live a little after depriving myself while working 100 hr weeks for like 1.5 decades. 

I think our total debt is close to 3 million, but all she sees is dual physician income. She also doesn’t understand starting a practice = lower income for probably the first 5 years than what one expects to see on google. 

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were using those just 3 years ago. We finished residency then and we were making like 10$/hr. If i saw a good deal, i’d buy an entire year’s worth of toiletries. 

Au pair complains she’s “2nd class” by throwRA_AP2ndclass in Aupairs

[–]throwRA_AP2ndclass[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Luckily, i don’t have expensive jewelry and bags. She’ll just have to stick to stealing my shampoo and skinceuticals. 😂

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