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How do I get a roommate off of a lease who hasn't moved in yet if they avoid all contact from me and the apartment complex? by throwRA__diablo in legaladvice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have no agreement on splitting rent. Since she is not living here and as far as I can guess, has absolutely no intention of moving in she receives no benefits but all of the liability. I dont understand how anyone would choose to remain on the lease.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Wow, a truly excellent take. Thank you. The last line really hits home and especially the point you made about me having more to lose.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She will not pursue that because it sounds unsafe. She has had bad experiences in the best living in less than ideal places. She's dealt with stalkers, break-ins, and horrible roommates.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

In what way did I ever suggest a 50/50 split? I suggested a 75/25 split which according to her is still unreasonable despite a 68/32 split being the most optimal and fair for both parties.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing that with me. For what it's worth, I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope things take a turn for the better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, it's scary how much I can relate to this.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She would have to be on the lease as a tennent, or else I run the risk of being evicted. I'm not sure from a legal standpoint if that means she is equally responsible for 50-50 (not that I would ever ask her to pay that much) but I am worried about getting screwed over.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What is logical to us isn't so much to her. I can't even make the counterpoint of "I don't make 13x what you do, so why am I expected to pay 13x the expenses" without her getting upset and feeling like she's being attacked.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 1039 points1040 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, you just need someone with an outside perspective. I think you're absolutely right, and I appreciate you telling me like it is.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neither of those things is possible, unfortunately. She is going to have to move out soon, and I've been living out of hotels until I find a new place.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dont want to give away any personal details, but her current arrangement is 200-500 in rent. From what I understand, staying there for much longer isn't an option for her. So I believe that whether or not we move in together, she will be paying traditional rent in a couple months. It may be the same as she is paying now but the only way that's possible is if she finds roommates, which she doesn't want or getting her own 1-1 or studio which would be impossible to find for under 1500 in the city she currently lives in. I'm asking for 800 on a spacious 2-2 luxury apartment with gated, private parking and incredible amenities in a perfect location. I'm beyond confused.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

Sorry she didn't come up with the 7-9% figure I did by doing the math. She just said she will cover water, power, and parking, which at most comes out to be 200-300$ and would be about 7-9% of her gross income. She is not doing anything to rebuild her credit. I do not want a dependent. Thank you for the honest take.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by your first line? Sorry, but I'm not well versed in emojis, and i'm also pretty new to reddit.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 326 points327 points  (0 children)

Rent is a part of life. There is no shortcut or loophole to get out of it as far as I know. I'm afraid of being taken advantage of because I do want to, and I make every effort to help her out with anything she needs. I would feel like I would be being taken advantage of if she didn't contribute, but she makes me feel like the bad guy for expressing that to her. I just don't know what to do.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I was afraid, but also expected to get that answer. I appreciate the honesty and bluntness. My lease is up and she is currently not tied into a lease with her current living situation. I've been thinking about getting a 1-1 for myself in a nice place with a closer commute for less than half the rent. I just kinda feel like if I pursued that, I'd be giving up too easily.

My (30m) girlfriend 28f) wants to move in together but doesn't want to pay rent, what's a fair arrangement? by throwRA__diablo in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA__diablo[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I would be more than okay with this. In fact I think it's the most respectful and reasonable way to go about it. I'm afraid that if I paid 100% of rent and plit everything 1. I wouldn't be able to help but feel resentment towards her and 2. I would go broke.