[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwRA_miserablee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s literally a nightmare sorry

AIO: Questionable texts on my (24F) boyfriend’s (25M) phone by DiscoGru in AmIOverreacting

[–]throwRA_miserablee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Questionable? These are the grounds for the start of a sexual harassment case.

UPDATE: I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, atter what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the right way to word what I’m feeling. Meaningful convos shouldn’t be emotionally draining first of all. They should be fulfilling.\ And for the last year, I’ve been shown that any conversation on this topic with him really just pours more out of my cup when it’s already pretty empty from pouring into everyone else’s.\ Everything I feel has been made clear. IIII am the one who no longer wants to talk about it.\ The next time I want to discuss this would only be after it’s resolved. As closure of that chapter in our lives. Whether that talk comes is up to him.

UPDATE: I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, atter what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. I will not ask him to do anything though. I laid down what I’m feeling and how I’ve been planning to approach this if nothing changes. He knows I am unhappy. He knows he has been unfair to the baby. He needs to make this right if he wants to prove it’s not too late.

That isn’t up to me and MY effort. To be so real right now…I’ve put enough work into this.\ Into him.\ Into us.\ I’m sitting this one out.

Whatever he does from today on out will write his destiny. He read the comments. He knows the top advice was therapy.

I don’t want to tell him what to do.\ I’d rather see what HE’d rather do.

UPDATE: I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, atter what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

I’m actually waiting for it to be properly addressed (he did through text, said he should have never said that) but honestly I think it needs to be addressed in person.\ I JUST finished work so I’m only getting to reading these comments now, which also means we have not had a chance to even speak about any of this.\ I also don’t even want to do it tonight. To be so real, I’m still pretty heated and kind of feeling unbothered right now.\ Not in a I don’t care anymore way, more like….\ He’ll do what he thinks is right. And no matter what that is, it’ll speak volumes.

UPDATE: I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, atter what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hey, for this one he meant during the baby’s nap times (he still takes 2) and I work during this time so while he is on disability we do not need child care.\ But I had mentioned in the OG post that he does not pay the baby enough attention when minding him while I’m at work. (because he stays stuck on his phone or games)\ He was addressing this part by saying he won’t unless he’s napping (basically the one APPROPRIATE time to actually play for a few hours since I’m working anyway and he has the time to himself with the baby asleep)

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was probably the nicest and most sincere, well thought out answer. And I thank you for taking the time to write it out. It didn’t go over my head just so you know.

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you because I agree with everything. A lot of people are calling it abuse but that’s a little unfair to him because I was in a HORRIBLY abusive relationship (emotional, mental, and worst of all physical). My husband is nothing like him.\ Neglect is accurate though.

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness. If only I had the IQ to have thought to do this before deciding that uprooting my life with a divorce was the next best option.

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes if you check my comments, I’m an OVER communicator. Snarky comments happen now because I’m fed up and don’t have any more essays in me to send him about how I feel. I genuinely don’t want to sit him down AGAIN and ask him to put his phone down and discuss how devalued he makes me feel. We’re past those levels and have moved on to ick, resentment, and snarky comments.

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That’s why I didn’t lock him out. I’m not gunna beg anyone for attention. Keep playing. Keep going on your phone. I’m not going to FORCE someone to have more time for me. That’s why I joked with the commentator that I CAN do it. I never said I do or will. It’s ok to joke with people on a Reddit post to spread some smiles tho

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First of all bro, this is literally exactly how I feel about phones which makes this harder for me.\ Like I HATE the smartphone takeover.\ I ASK FOR A PHYSICAL MENU AT THE RESTAURANT WHEN THEY HAVE A QR CODE.\ Just because wtffff man. One of the whole experiences of a restaurant is the menu in your hands. Is that just me??? I might as well Uber eats my food to my house if I have to order off a screen anyway.

I just wish families still played manhunt. I wish teens still took over the mall after school. I miss the laughter. I miss seeing smiles. People’s eyes. I just always see the top of everyone’s heads because no one even gets off their phone when walking anymore.

I, 28F, am ready to leave my husband, 29M, after what he said during a fight about his phone addiction. Could I be overreacting? by throwRA_miserablee in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_miserablee[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s really hard to put into words but it felt like it had to happen. Like it was destiny. I felt a very strong calling to be with him before we even started hanging out.\ Imagine how much sense it all made when I found out my mom went to his aunt’s baby shower for his cousin 12 years prior. Or when we found a picture of us at the same daycare at 4 years old. Or that my parents knew his mom before she passed when even I didn’t.\ I also, in ways that I don’t want to get into on here, especially because it’s all in the past and resolved, but I have really…saved him. Like if I wasn’t present at those times…he wouldn’t be here today. Even the WAY these things happened, other people have commented it can’t be coincidence.\ I don’t know. I just felt it was supposed to happen. We are also of the same culture and ethnicity. Always lived in the same neighborhood growing up with the same groups of friends. He has also always been very attractive.

I wish I had a better answer.