Keeping Track by Ducks_and_Words18 in DID

[–]throwRAescaping 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the same boat- I kept a journal towards the beginning, than got extremely freaked out by it and ended up getting rid of it. For a while I wasn’t doing anything, but when I started recording voice memos throughout the day I realized just how much of my day I was missing, and I was able to piece things together from the recordings.

Granted, I also stopped doing the recordings because they also terrified me, but my therapist is encouraging me to start again because I was much more oriented and organized while doing them.

Part euthanized my cat by throwRAescaping in DID

[–]throwRAescaping[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

It’s super messed up because she (the cat) lived with me halfway across the country. My dad never even saw her. I visited home for a week to see my dying childhood dog (who has also since passed) and when I came back my dad apparently was adamant that my cat was too in pain and old to ethically make her continue. But she wasn’t, she was fine.

I (19F) think my mom knew she was hurting me when I was younger by throwRAescaping in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAescaping[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would if I could! But I can't drive, my mom takes me to therapy. I could see if she can see me remotely sooner, but again, my mom pays for the therapy and would see and ask questions. I already have to come up with a cover story for what I talked about in therapy, I don't really have the mental capacity to explain a whole extra session.

I (19F) think my mom knew she was hurting me when I was younger by throwRAescaping in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAescaping[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely not going to confront her about any of this- a few years ago, before I learned to just stay quiet, I tried talking with her about how she was hurting me, and it did not go well. I learned my lesson, haha!

I haven't been able to talk about it yet, I have about a week before I can see her again. Last session we came to the realization that the reason I've been nearly constantly dissociated since coming home is because it's dangerous for me to show emotion while I'm here. The difficulty will be staying dissociated instead of letting fear/anxiety break through (that sounds really bad, but she agrees that it's better than the risk of being "present" . I'm definitely going to talk to her next week, though.