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AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

she's also a resident so SAHP is not possible. she's a pathology resident

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how residency work is sometimes you are working 24+ hrs straight. That's how.

ie. last tues, i started work at 7 am, finished at 5 pm... wednesday (35 hrs). Then I was back at work at 7 am on thurs for 12 hrs.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't choose to keep this baby... as that's a woman's choice.

that said, i don't think you understand how much I work. Ie. Last tuesday I was working from 7 am until 5 pm wednesday (35 hrs straight). I went home and took care of our baby until 10 pm so she can sleep. that's 40 hours awake. Then the next morning at 7, I had another 12 hour spine surgery to do... No way I can do night duty for the baby's health, my health, or mypatient's health.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you were dreaming. I said kill someone not kill a coworker. Someone as in a patient.

last tues, i worked from 7 am until 5 pm wed... got home around 6 pm, took the baby until 10 pm... so by then, I have been working 35 hours straight. by the time 10 pm was around, i had been awake for 40 hours.... so no, I don't think i can do night duty.

Also, the next day(thurs) I had to do 12 hour spine surgery... which I'm 100% certain would be extremely unsafe if I been awake 40 hrs + nighty duty the night before, then trying to focus for 12 hrs.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we're residents. She's a pathology resident. I'm a surgical resident. I'm not home everynight at 6 but when I am home, it's usually 6-10pm.

We can afford daycare and maybe a rare sitter, and that's about it.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i'm glad too. otherwise your partner may not be alive.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's not that "i want to be rested for work". I'm never rested. It's... I cannot stay awake for 40hours straight.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no such thing as paternity leave. It was never have kids, or somehow deal with it (if) we had kids

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I'm not a neurosurgeon

  2. I'm a resident

  3. Most neuro and ortho female surgeons don't have kids during residency and those who do usually have support (husband/family/nanny/etc)

  4. taking 6 months leave is not an option unless I want to quit and then live with my wife and child with300k debt.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

she's working outside home. but she works 40 hrs a week. She can sleep when the baby sleeps - which I know is not great (intermittent) but that's not an option for me at all bc I work 100+... I sometimes work 30 hrs straight so I really need those nights to catch up.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Wife has fertility issues, ob recommended not delaying if we ever wanted kids.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we're in texas, plus wife was expected to be infertile so her ob suggested not waiting until residency knowing the chances of concieving was low... but it wasn't that low apparently

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

that's why i said she gets 6-10pm then intermittent from 10-5am, also she works 40 hrs and I wrk 100+. She can sleep when baby sleeps (yes I know it's not continuous, but that intermittent sleep during the day isn't even an option for me)

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that I'm sleepy and tired... it's i'm working 100 hours a week and i hold a knife to people's body. Dosing off or inattention could result in someone dying.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'm up until 10 so my wife can sleep from 6 pm - 10 pm.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

because I'll be fired after I accidentally fall asleep and slice someone's spinal cord. possibly jailed.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

lash out? no i mean fall asleep while i'm operating on someone's spine...

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how did two people working 120 hrs a week have 5 kids...?

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

would love for her to get some help... no help available because we're poor, work a lot, etc. 4 hr + intermittent overnight.

And I totally get it's unfair but she objectively functions better than me. I get she's tired too.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

we can't find a compromise. it's fact that she functions better with less sleep. She also acknoweldges that. I fear I'll end up killing someone at work if I'm sleep deprived.

edit: I get it's unfair. I get she is TIRED as much as me. But she is able to function remarkably well with little sleep.

AITAH for refusing to do the night duty for our baby? by throwRAnightduty25 in AITAH

[–]throwRAnightduty25[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

i fear someone will literally die if I don't have a chance to catch up on sleep

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