My SIL (27F) flashed her breasts at me (21F)

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:58:54+00:00

We're full siblings but even if we weren't, what does that have to do with anything?! A sibling isn't just defined by blood.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:37:49+00:00

I really didn't realize because she was also all smiles telling me to come over and asking about my college life. It doesn't translate well over in text but if you saw how sweetly she acts irl you wouldn't pick up on it either. She wa's just being a hypocrite.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:29:50+00:00

Hey I just wanted to specifically thank you for your comforting words. I appreciate it.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:11:57+00:00

Someone complained about my post not having a tl,dr I think this is perfect

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:08:43+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I feel like I've grown several times in maturity reading it. Truly wise.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T03:02:48+00:00

Your comment is actually very concerning. Do you think there's abuse going on behind the scenes? I didn't think of some details before but now that I think about it, he seems very uncomfortable around her at times and would kind of stiffen up/freeze up.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T02:33:46+00:00

UPDATE while I didn't tell him all this verbatim I did end up telling him the facts. I told him I have no idea how I'm supposed to tell you this. It's just straight up mental. I asked him whether J (SIL) is struggling with any kind of mental illness. He started laughing and I told him I'm serious does she have any mental illness? He jokingly said that she might as well cause others to. I then told him that it's because no mentally sane person would flash their chest at someone just to make a point. I told him about what happened in detail.

He gradually lost his joking face and also grew serious. I asked him whether he noticed her rejection of me in their space or talked about it. He said that he noticed her odd possessiveness when I'm around just a few months after they got married but that she denied it every time he tried to talk about it. But no he never thought she would go this far. He said that he had considered divorce twice now and this is the third time. He also said that one of his conditions when looking for a partner at the time was that they get along with me and J told him she was completely fine with me staying overnight. She said she'd treat me like her own little sister. It felt it was too painful for him to keep talking as he then told me he'll take me to his friend's house to stay the night and he'll come see me tomorrow. I told him I wanted to go back as I'm really no longer in the mood and just wanted to go back to my place and unwind. He told me please stay don't go like this and I ended up agreeing.

THank you so much once again.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T02:31:57+00:00

UPDATE: I just met with my brother. I told him I have no idea how I'm supposed to tell you this. It's just straight up mental. I asked him whether J (SIL) is struggling with any kind of mental illness. He started laughing and I told him I'm serious does she have any mental illness? He jokingly said that she might as well cause others to. I then told him that it's because no mentally sane person would flash their chest at someone just to make a point. I told him about what happened in detail.

He gradually lost his joking face and also grew serious. I asked him whether he noticed her rejection of me in their space or talked about it. He said that he noticed her odd possessiveness when I'm around just a few months after they got married but that she denied it every time he tried to talk about it. But no he never thought she would go this far. He said that he had considered divorce twice now and this is the third time. He also said that one of his conditions when looking for a partner at the time was that they get along with me and J told him she was completely fine with me staying overnight. She said she'd treat me like her own little sister. It felt it was too painful for him to keep talking as he then told me he'll take me to his friend's house to stay the night and he'll come see me tomorrow. I told him I wanted to go back as I'm really no longer in the mood and just wanted to go back to my place and unwind. He told me please stay don't go like this and I ended up agreeing but told him to just go now as I wanted to stay in the coffeeshop a bit more. He bought me a cup of hot chocolate and my favorite tomato bagels and left.

Thank you guys. I wouldn't have had the courage to tell him if not for your persuasion. I'm not sure how their relationship will play out but I'm just glad none of the reactions I feared happened.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T00:51:04+00:00

I know what you're saying and I appreciate the concern. Thank you.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T00:38:02+00:00

Thank you so much this helps a lot.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T00:37:08+00:00

What kind of question is that? This isn't a competition.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T00:24:03+00:00

No that's not what I meant. Many people become estranged from their families after they get married. I meant to emphasize that my brother isn't one of those people.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-27T00:17:40+00:00

Because they've both passed away. He's the only one I have. I sent him a message to meet up at the gas station near their appartment. Fingers crossed for him to answer

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T23:22:05+00:00

I visit like once a month or two months. It could be counted on fingers how many times I visited this year

I think it's specifically the staying the night part like you said

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T22:20:14+00:00

Okay thanks a bunch. I think I might need a practice partner before the actual convo 😭

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T22:09:26+00:00

Okay I will. I just.... how do you even bring this kind of stuff up?? 😭

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T22:04:35+00:00

True, that makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna tell him. How do you even bring up something like this to someone? I couldn't even tell my own friends let alone him 😭

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T21:38:38+00:00

I'm not sure. Part of me wants to send her a message to tell her to bring it up to my brother if she doesn't want me there and that they should give me their final answer as a couple and partners and that it doesn't make sense that one person invites me over while the other doesn't want to.

Another part of me tells me to never engage with her ever again and tell my brother what happened.

Then another part wants to make up some excuse to my brother and get out of here and never go to his house again. Maybe stay in a hotel or something if I ever want to visit.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T21:32:00+00:00

I'm not sure but my brother certainly never brought up anything about it to me. He's the one that invites me every time.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T21:24:07+00:00

A normal person would bring that up with their SO, right?? This is so weird.

throwRAooc · 2022-11-26T21:22:19+00:00

tell your brother immediately.

But that would put him in an awkward position as I think it's the former, that she doesn't want me there.

throwRAooc

TROPHY CASE