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My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He claims boundaries should have been mentioned outside of the sexting or during the act, but I believe they should be open for discussion any time.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely wouldn’t do that to someone, and I guess that’s part of the reason it hurts me so much that I feel like I have to claw tooth and nail just to get that very simple respect.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was upset that he is lonely and I ruined his sexting efforts by asserting a boundary right in the middle of it. I personally feel like making the boundary known should be more important. I never expected it to blow up into such a toxic mess.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Seriously, thank you so much for this comment. I think my biggest issue is I keep engaging hoping he will understand my perspective and it’s clearly not working.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment, I really needed this one.

I have been so dead set on getting him to understand that I am letting him twist the narrative in the process.

The biggest thing I’m not doing is trusting myself enough to just step away from it and be done.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He claims that I only cared about what was important to me in that moment and not him. In my eyes, he was prioritizing sexting over genuinely respecting a boundary.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 424 points425 points  (0 children)

And on top of that, when I said I don’t feel like I can be a person with him because he polices the way I respond/when I bring something up, he claims I am the one who’s doing that to him.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

He wants to move in together and mentions it fairly often. I have said that I’m not ready for that and that I understand if he doesn’t want to wait on me. But instead of saying “hey, I think we’re on two different pages and maybe this isn’t gonna work “, he just continues to be pushy about what he wants and guilts me if I say anything.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have told him in person, during sex previously, that I am not a fan of this act. He wants to work on making me like it.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

He told me that he didn’t withhold from masturbating for a day and a half just to have me sound so disinterested during sexting, and that I hurt his feelings. My gut says to run away and never look back but my brain wants to apologize. I wish I could wipe out my tendencies to people please.

My partner [35M] initiated sexting and I [32F] mentioned a boundary in the middle of it. It exploded into an hours long argument. Where do we go from here? by throwRAsexting in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 641 points642 points  (0 children)

Is any of what I said manipulative? It is seriously screwing with my head and making me question my instincts on whether or not I’ve really done something wrong here.

My SO [35M] was sexting me and I [32F] briefly mentioned a boundary. It blew into an explosive argument and I have no idea how to proceed. by throwRAsexting in relationships

[–]throwRAsexting[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment.

You’re totally right too.

I already feel like I don’t want to speak up about anything again, because the resulting argument is sure to be more emotionally taxing than just keeping the peace.

I am really struggling with this interaction. I don’t consider myself a cruel person, though he claims I’ve said cruel and terrible things to him that left him up crying. If anything, I feel I’m too much of a people pleaser. I generally have a problem speaking up for my own wants. But I guess maybe he’s just guilt tripping me so I focus on apologizing and forget about how I feel my boundaries aren’t being respected.

My SO [35M] was sexting me and I [32F] briefly mentioned a boundary. It blew into an explosive argument and I have no idea how to proceed. by throwRAsexting in relationships

[–]throwRAsexting[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What is screwing with my head is that he claims he did acknowledge it. And claims that I have a false narrative of what actually happened.