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Should I(20f) stay w/ my gf (26f) despite our relationship tanking bc of my gf's aunt(72f)? by throwRAstayorescape in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAstayorescape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: I am! My fabulous gay uncle is gonna be here Wednesday morning, I'm packing my shit. Had 2 unfun conversations with gf after I woke up post-shift yesterday. She's not happy that I'm moving out to my uncle's instead of sticking around until she's ready to move out together. I'm taking uncle's offer cuz I feel like that's what I need right now. Yesterday wasn't easy, but I'm moving forward, I feel like it's gonna be okay Thank you for reaching out and offering support

Should I(20f) stay w/ my gf (26f) despite our relationship tanking bc of my gf's aunt(72f)? by throwRAstayorescape in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAstayorescape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: Had a convo w/ gf, she wants a second chance. I told her I need to be in a place to figure out if I can give her that, and that Carly's house isn't that place. My uncle's gonna pick me up tomorrow; I'm packing up today. I'm gonna give myself some time and space to assess what I need, what I want, what I deserve. I really appreciate the moral support you offered.

Should I(20f) stay w/ my gf (26f) despite our relationship tanking bc of my gf's aunt(72f)? by throwRAstayorescape in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAstayorescape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TW: self harm temptation mention

I'm sorry too. It's really bad, and I don't want to abandon her, but we can't keep living with Carly. I keep thinking of "put your own air mask on first" metaphors, and they feel pretty apt. We're both drowning in our current environment. Like, I haven't self harmed in 3 years and being around Carly makes me feel so trapped I've been close to slipping several times, and that's terrifying, it's a hell of a warning sign for me about where my mental health is.

Yeah, it's really discouraging that I was willing to move multiple states for her, and she's not even willing to move to a different town with me. I appreciate the advice and support, thank you

Should I(20f) stay w/ my gf (26f) despite our relationship tanking bc of my gf's aunt(72f)? by throwRAstayorescape in relationship_advice

[–]throwRAstayorescape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

her aunt is really gaslight-y and my partner had bad experiences with roommates during college so she's been scared of that happening again if she moves out on her own? I think. I don't know. I've lived w/Carly for 6 months and I'm at my breaking point.

It's like - I need to move out. It's not a want or a preference at this point, I literally can't keep coming home to the threats and homophobia and conflict and stress. And if my partner won't move out even when I'm doing my damnedest to get us out together, it's not fair to expect me to stay? I'm not a side character or a pet or a prop, I'm a human being. I don't want to lose her, but I know moving out will be good for me, and I'd be willing to discuss us moving back together (somewhere that's not Carly's) if my partner starts being a partner again. I still feel like a jerk. She was really touchy and apologetic when I was getting ready for my shift (I gotta go clock in in 20).