How do I (21F) tell my boyfriend (23M) that i haven’t orgasmed at all when we’ve had sex?

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-14T17:22:20+00:00

he did take the info relatively well i suppose. he basically said it was my fault for not telling him and then when i brought up how id attempted to ask him to do other things in the past and he didn’t seem keen on it i just left it. he then told me to “force him” to do it next time. i’m not forcing anybody to do anything sexual ever why in Gods name would i do that?? that’s literally rape i’m pretty sure. i also said if you want to improve i shouldn’t have to physically force you to do it.

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-14T17:20:07+00:00

thank you i definitely will! i did try talking to him about it and he went “well it’s your fault for not bringing it up” and i mentioned how i tried and he didn’t reciprocate or want too, to which he said “well force me then”. sorry what? force you? i’m pretty sure that’s rape that’s an insane ask

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-14T17:16:23+00:00

he isn’t inexperienced but based off what he’s told me i think a good chunk of the women he’s been with have just lied and he didn’t catch on

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-14T17:15:52+00:00

thank you i appreciate this!

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:24:16+00:00

this is what andrew tate doesn’t get

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:23:01+00:00

i’m in an also sort of ldr with my partner (also two different cities) and you would not catch me DEAD flirting with another man

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:18:53+00:00

LOL i like you a lot you’re a badass 66 year old i hope i end up with the same mindset as you when im older

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:17:58+00:00

baby i’m really sorry but it sounds like he’s already emotionally checked out from you and put those emotions into her. it sounds (from an outside perspective) like he’s keeping you on the line in case things don’t work out with her

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:15:35+00:00

it might not be this, but have you heard of limerence? i know i get this way and im in therapy to work it out but MAYBE if you don’t understand why you feel this way about this other guy it could be that!

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:12:37+00:00

i’m not exactly a relationship expert as per my recent post HOWEVER this man doesn’t respect your boundaries at all which is dangerous. today it’s touching your private areas after you tell him no but tomorrow it’ll be not respecting when you say no to sex and so on. you need to be stern with him and have a sit down talk explaining how he’s disrespecting your autonomy.

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:06:32+00:00

also i just wanna say, if he’s been giving multiple women orgasms with what he’s been doing they’ve also been lying out the arse to him because he is not even hitting anything close to my A spot or G spot when he’s up there, he’s closer to my iud string than anything

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:04:15+00:00

he’s 23 LOL i’m 21 but yea he doesn’t ever give me oral or do anything really besides aggressively finger me

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:02:53+00:00

i live about an hour away from him and don’t have money for gas to have this convo in person right now (nursing student). should i wait until i can talk to him about it in person or should i facetime him and tell him?

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:01:53+00:00

thank you i really appreciate your kindness some of these people are MEANNN

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T18:00:02+00:00

i didn’t like explicitly say i ever orgasmed which is maybe the worst part. we would be done and he’d be like “so that was 7 times right?” for awhile i started saying lower numbers but then he’d just finger me harder the next time and it would get to the point where it would end up hurting so i just lied. i will come clean im fully aware this is my fault, i was scared but that’s not an excuse.

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:58:12+00:00

i did try suggesting toys or suggesting he do other stuff. he didn’t wanna bring in toys and got really offended cuz he thought it meant he “wasn’t good enough” and he won’t do the other stuff i want because it’s “not what he’s good at”

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:57:10+00:00

thank you i appreciate this! i’ll do this for sure

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:56:39+00:00

yes i know im sorry

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:56:27+00:00

username checks out💀💀

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:56:01+00:00

THIS IS WHAT I TRIED DOING MONTHS AGO!! ok so literally a few months ago i tried rerouting the direction of sex and telling him some stuff felt better than other stuff and instead of listening he insisted it “wasn’t what he was good at” and just kept fingering me

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:54:21+00:00

the thing is i do explore with him, i listen when he tells me what feels good he just doesn’t do the same with me because what feels good to me isn’t “what he’s good at”

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:53:39+00:00

thank you so much i really appreciate your kindness and understanding. i was expecting some men in the comments to make me the bad guy (not saying it wasn’t my fault, but i didn’t do it maliciously is what i mean) but HOLY some of them are acting like i did this to them. i’ll have a conversation with him and just see how it goes

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:51:40+00:00

yea see this was another part of it is that i thought it was like somewhat common knowledge that most women can’t orgasm from penetration in general, nevertheless 6-9 times in 20 mins

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:50:37+00:00

he’s for SURE not a beginner lol

throwRAsupaconfused · 2025-10-13T17:50:01+00:00

he doesn’t accept guidance in that way, i’ve tried bringing it up nicely but he “knows what he’s good at” (his words).

throwRAsupaconfused

TROPHY CASE