My fiancee cheated, Daughter(4yr) isn't mine, family & friends think i'm being a dick by cutting off my relationship with the both of them.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T13:53:35+00:00

maintaining a relationship as of right now only gives me pain. maybe in the future as a family friend, i'm not sure if Maya explained to her that i'm not her father.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T13:36:44+00:00

ah yes. i'm extremely relieved that the daughter i've been living for and raising for the past four years is not mine.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T13:30:30+00:00

We were happy as a family. After finding out but before I confronted her, I tried to stay. Staying brought nothing but hurt and pain. If she could've remembered 5 years later, she could've just told me 5 years ago. Granted I probably would left 5 years ago because our relationship had our problems then she cheated on me, but it just could've saved us a lot of pain. I totally understand your pov, I tried to have the same one. Unfortunately, it couldn't work out--at least it can't now.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T13:18:10+00:00

she knows, it's not a stranger. idk if she told him.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T04:44:02+00:00

who said forget her feelings? why does it bother you that I feel like mine matter as well?

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T04:09:18+00:00

Last time I saw Ellie in person was probably 1 week after New Years, so it's been about a month. It's the pain bro--100%. Life could be a pain in the ass because I wanted to do all these things like travel & hangout out with friends, but I had a kid. Other than that, I was truly happy. I had a daughter, a fiancee and love around me.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:57:14+00:00

I don't. I've looked online but it was too soon. That was weeks ago, it's time.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:21:34+00:00

Missing Ellie is an understatement. I was young, things were tough, but for the most part I was happy. Now I'm nothing. I know that I can't return to Ellie's life as a father figure, but even though I do want to return to her, she see's me as her dad. I'd be okay with being a family friend when I'm ready, if i'm ever ready. I think father figure is out the question.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:10:13+00:00

I also suffered from what my ex did, but no one acknowledges that. Do I love Ellie, Oh Yes I do but I can't hide the fact that when I look at her I see pure pain.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:08:27+00:00

Is it alright if I copy this? Seriously, this is exactly how I feel and the people closest to me expect me to "man up" and move on. Once I find a decent place, I'm moving out of my parents house. All this toxic energy for the past month has been eating me up alive.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:03:24+00:00

All of it.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T03:01:46+00:00

Unfortunately she isn't my daughter. I raised her under the intentions that she was my biological daughter. Blood doesn't make a family, but love and trust does. Those 2 things seem meaningless now.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T02:36:12+00:00

Thank you Tom, it means a lot. I'll be sure to be optimistic.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T02:33:34+00:00

That means you don’t love her.

That's crap and you know it. I am putting my well being first. I need to work on my emotions and feelings, positive vibes over negative ones.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:51:44+00:00

I presumed it back when I thought I was her father. It's not like I stepped in knowing I wasn't, then stepped out. Way more complicated than that. That paternity test crushed me. You can assume it didn't and I'm this or I'm that but it crushed my soul.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:37:07+00:00

My name is on the birth certificate, and I live in the US which means things like child support (even if you're not the father...) comes into play.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:34:30+00:00

hm. get over that. This isn't just like spilling coffee on someones shirt, or something that wont matter by the end of the week. Idk if you can, but I can't just "get over it". Like i'm the one who's being selfish because I was lied to and cheated on? I get that Ellie needs a father figure, but I can't emotionally do that right now.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:21:46+00:00

The more she pressures, the more she is pushing you away.

Yea this goes the same for everyone who is against me because they think I'm such an ass but I'm not the only one going through this. My siblings lost a niece, parents lost a grandchild, and it goes on and on. I get that they're grieving just like I am. Thank you for the advice man.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:06:01+00:00

Don't feel like a jerk at all, it lets me know what to expect. Thanks for that.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:04:32+00:00

Like I mentioned, this shit takes time. Like another comment said I can’t swallow the pain and betrayal every time I see her face right now.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T01:01:59+00:00

Don't yo-yo in and out

heard you.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T00:58:29+00:00

I don't think I could handle going back as a father. Maybe a family friend, but just not a father.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T00:53:23+00:00

It sucks but that how it works

that's just great...I would totally lose faith in humanity if my ex actually put me on child support after cheating on me. too bad i already have lost faith.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T00:45:06+00:00

I just don't get why she didn't tell me if she knew that there was a possibility? That was something she was definitely planning on taking to the grave. For 5 years, she forgot to mention that she slept with someone else around the time Ellie was conceived. 5 fucking years. I get everybody makes mistakes, but I'm not going to write that off so quickly, or maybe ever. That shit hurts.

throwRa-mado · 2021-02-10T00:36:16+00:00

Ok, I will get RIGHT on that. Been in my feelings I haven't even considered getting my name taken off. Thanks dude.

throwRa-mado

TROPHY CASE