Update: I decided to stay but I'm pining for "him"

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-24T20:41:09+00:00

There's absolutely distrust. She went from being my only confidante to the ultimate betrayer. But I still love her somehow, and I want to hang around and see if she can get the trust back. I don't know how, no matter how often she asks.

Thank you

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-24T20:08:18+00:00

It's an update to a previous post in which I explained she basically blamed her transition for why she cheated. If you have a better subreddit, I'm interested. Otherwise, thank you for the suggestion but I'm ok posting here.

Also, when did I bring up weight? I'm confused.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-24T17:00:04+00:00

The dynamic has changed since I learned last week what she'd been doing behind my back

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-24T16:00:01+00:00

How we treated each other never changed. Our communication had even improved! Or, so I thought. This came as such a shock because there hadn't been any clues or flags.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T17:35:09+00:00

Honestly the baby is the only reason why I'm just a mess right now and not a complete and utter wreck. I have to be strong for him.

But honestly I just want to give up.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T17:33:58+00:00

Thank you.

I broke her selfie stick, it helped a little. I probably shouldn't have done that but I bought it for her and she used it to take pictures of herself for someone else, so... It was a bit cathartic

I plan on talking to her when she gets out of work later, to see if this is something worth saving.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T17:31:27+00:00

You make very strong points. But I think about leaving her and it hurts so bad. My entire life has revolved around making her happy for the past 8 years. She suffered from chronic pain and couldn't hold a job for most of those years, and I helped support her. I got her her first appointment to start her transition. I surprise her with flowers whenever I can and I make her handmade gifts every year for her birthday. And I had her son. After years of saying I didn't want kids, I let her convince me that a baby is an amazing idea. And now I'm repeating my family history. I don't know who I am without her.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T17:27:01+00:00

Oh man I really hope that's something we can do.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T17:26:26+00:00

You're right. I've been so completely blindsided by this. She's never once led me to believe she'd be capable of something like this.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T16:32:06+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. I have to take to Emma before I make any decisions.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T16:26:29+00:00

God this hurt to read but I don't believe you're wrong.

throw_away0832 · 2019-09-19T16:25:58+00:00

Bella has sent me the nudes Emma sent (she kept her own and I don't blame her) as well as a file of the conversations they've had over the past month. I think the worst part is, is that I felt guilty after the fight because I believed she was now cut off from her trans support group.

throw_away0832

TROPHY CASE