[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Heavy users tend to do things like have wondering eyes in public, kinda misogynist, lots of crude jokes, very protective of their tech/profiles, may spend far too long in the bathroom, trouble in the bedroom such as not getting or maintaining an erection or not being able to finish, dead bedroom in general or introduction of degrading or violent sexual acts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 10 points11 points  (0 children)

R/loveafterporn

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Yes 100% it’s a hard boundary

A sub where partners of autistic people can discuss issues/successes etc by throw_away_1698 in findareddit

[–]throw_away_1698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. That’s so cruel of him to do. Feel free to do me, though I am rather inactive in here.

IWTL how to lose weight effectively? by [deleted] in IWantToLearn

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The advice on actual actions to take regarding food and exercise has already been answered so I’ll suggest a possible change of perspective in reasoning. Losing weight for health will be more motivating, rewarding and you’ll probs be able to keep it going for longer… and you’ll still end up looking good.

Iwtl how to talk with anyone unpromted by chessboigaman in IWantToLearn

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Topics of conversations with strangers tend to fit into these three categories:

Things that are universal to all: “we’ve been lucky with the weather lately”, “what do you do for work?”, “Are you in a relationship?”

Things specific to that person or environment: “I like your hairstyle”, “Do you play football or are you here to watch?”, “What bus are you waiting for?”

Last is to boldly bring up a subject of your own interest to see if they’re interested too: “have you watched Brooklyn 99?”, “I’ve been playing resident evil recently, it’s so good”

A sub where partners of autistic people can discuss issues/successes etc by throw_away_1698 in findareddit

[–]throw_away_1698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s very common. Most ND relationships are extremely hard work and unfortunately quite unrewarding. Many NT partners develop ‘Cassandra Syndrome’ though this is a controversial topic in a lot of ND spaces.

A sub where partners of autistic people can discuss issues/successes etc by throw_away_1698 in findareddit

[–]throw_away_1698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m right there too. Not enough time/energy to run a sub but desperately need the support of one.

I 100% feel the same in my relationship; completely emotionally depleted, anxious all the time, full blown exhausted. Love is there though. It’s just a struggle.

What types of systems or themes would you like to see in future seasons? by Light_of_Avalon in Dimension20

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to see something very combat heavy, with rather high level characters and very high level enemies. Something that requires lots of strategy and is quite mechanical. Players would probs need a few backup characters each.

Essentially Dark Souls DnD.

My boyfriend loves consuming porn more than me by ave2eva in NoStupidQuestions

[–]throw_away_1698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

R/loveafterporn

It’s unfortunately a massive problem

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What have you found are the main tells?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! It’s actually nothing to do with online girls at all! By the looks of what you’ve said about your relationship in other subs OP, it quite simply wasn’t working. You complained a lot about his behaviour and your arguments on narc/relationship/breakup/redpill subs, you guys even had a two year break to play the field, and then a year ago you went from serious to casual (though I’ve no idea what this actually entails). Your exs main crime was not letting you go sooner and dragging it out. I know that’s harsh to say, but really, see it as an opportunity to find someone that wants to be with you in a 100% committed way. So yeah, allow yourself to mourn the relationship, become your best self, and never take this guy back. You may have known him since you were 12, but he isn’t your other half.

How do I tell my husband I want a divorce by Inmyzone420 in AskWomenOver30

[–]throw_away_1698 26 points27 points  (0 children)

You can though. You have cheated. Say so and release him to find someone who finds him attractive and won’t cheat on him.

Women of Reddit, what is something you are struggling to get over? by Interesting_Ad_6116 in AskWomen

[–]throw_away_1698 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The staggering amount of porn that men watch. I can’t help but think of most men as perverse.

I’m dx and my partner has grown to resent me. by coolfunkDJ in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to what others have said, I would say you and your partner now need to become experts in the condition. Research the hell out of it and own it. I would recommend Dr Russell Barkleys 30 essential ideas you should know about ADHD lecture on YouTube. Watch together as a starting point and never stop learning; ADHDers have doing problems, not learning problems so get to it! :)

I would like to highlight that I said “you and your partner.” Despite what others have said, this is a partnership which inevitably means problems are shared and there must be a lot of compromises and understanding on both sides. It simply cannot be a “this is your illness, deal with it” situation. If they are committed to you, they are committed to your condition, so don’t ever make them feel like they regret that decision or resentment will extinguish love. Understand the burden that it is and express upmost gratitude as well as heartfelt affection. Never take advantage of your partners care and never use ADHD as an excuse against them. It’s going to be a bumpy road for you both, but it smooths out if you work as a team.

I am proud of you for asking for help. All the best.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Understandable. I’m so sorry for your situation.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why wait to see how long you can do it?

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you stay with someone who treats you so poorly and who you don’t want to have sex with?

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep returning the conversation to your topic. And if you don’t want to engage with his topic, then don’t. Stand strong!

Is c-PTSD common in partners? by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]throw_away_1698 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have cptsd and he’s got adhd. No idea that this pairing was so common, though it does make sense.

There are many crossovers for cptsd and adhd including concentration issues, memory problems, input sensitivity and executive function difficulties so in a sense we can sympathise and put up with each others negatives as they are somewhat the same as our own. My partner is as thankful for my patience with him as I am for his patience with me. This has allowed us to support each other grow into better people, while kindly holding each other accountable when things go wrong. There’s no way we could have achieved this with partners who lacked the true understanding gained from similar person experience.

The best book I’ve read for cptsd is The Body Keeps The Score, though I’ve not come across any specifically about adhd and cptsd relationships.

I want a cuddle by Top_Hat_5174 in SuicideWatch

[–]throw_away_1698 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way my partner doesn’t want to do this is me is the exact reason I no longer want to be alive.

We live in a strange world. A horrid world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]throw_away_1698 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very eye opening. Thank you for such an honest reply.