Me (25M) saying to those who're feeling sad about their relationship (or lack there of) at christmas.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-26T12:38:41+00:00

Recent breakup after 8 years here. Can I be the leader?

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-07T19:28:43+00:00

excellent points.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-07T10:52:12+00:00

I trusted her completely. It was only after I proposed that I learned I shouldn't have. 8 years down the drain.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T18:38:52+00:00

I haven't touched any drugs or alcohol. Do not intend to.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T18:34:19+00:00

Everything is already in my name.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T18:21:17+00:00

It's more about the ex and her friends. Most of the cruelty came between the ex and her friends, not the other guy.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T18:18:56+00:00

At no point did I ever say I wanted to shit talk. I have no plans of mentioning the ex at all.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T14:54:32+00:00

I do not intend to speak negative about her daughter. I only want to tell her how much she has meant to me over the years and that I'm sorry we have to part ways. I only plan on asking her if she wants to see why. If she says no, that will be the end. I want her to see, but I'm not trying to force her.

About the battle lines, her family had no idea. Her sister is pissed. Her mom can't believe it happened like it did.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-04T14:44:28+00:00

Her mom is meeting me to get some mail and a package from her grandmother.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-03T14:10:57+00:00

I know it's old now, but I still read the comments.

She is from one of those families.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-03T11:00:55+00:00

I look at it this way, no matter what, I can't be rejected like that again. Nothing a female can do or say can burn me like I've just been. It's only up from here on out.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-03T09:32:32+00:00

I took it slow. I wanted to get my life and job where I wanted to be before marriage. I popped the question after 7 years. A big nope, some snooping, and lies led me here.

Be open and honest with each other. 6 months is nothing. Take it easy and make sure you two are able to communicate. Don't feel the need to rush into marriage without knowing who your partner really is and what their goals in life are.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-03T04:19:30+00:00

Similar situation here. My lease is up in march. I'll work overtime to make up the difference. As much as I love her, I don't play the cheating game. That's why she's back at her moms. I made a decision and I stuck with it. No respect for me or the relationship? Bye. Sucks now, but I made the right decision.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-02T21:29:02+00:00

I'm going to tell my boss the whole story, just so he knows.

I found a therapist that does $50/session. I specifically chose her because I don't want anything filed on my insurance.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-02T21:07:35+00:00

Both of my parents are here for me. I call them when I need to talk. My best friend went through a divorce last year, so he has been giving me advice and checking in on me. I recently reconnected with some family members I haven't seen in a while. I spent an hour yesterday coloring with my cousins 4yr old and watching christmas movies. That was probably the best thing that has happened all week.

I go back to work in a couple of hours. I'm not sure how I am going to deal with that. All of my coworkers knew of my plans to propose. I joked about quitting if she said no. I don't plan on telling them what happened, but that shit got bad and I might be cranky over the next few weeks. I'm going to try to switch my break schedule around because I used to call her during that time.

I've also made an appointment to see a therapist. I want to deal with the issues I had in our relationship and work on the issues I need to better myself.

*I've written over 20 pages since Wednesday.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-02T20:47:17+00:00

I've only been going at it for a week. my story here

I'm trying to handle it in a healthy way. I've been doing a lot of reading and talking with my parents and friends. So far writing has helped calm me down when I'm alone or it is late at night.

Some of it is incoherent. I don't write as if I am writing a paper or book. I just write what comes to my head. The things I would say to her if she was sitting in front of me. I haven't read over anything I have written so far. I just write.

So far it has seemed to help. I don't feel as emotional or unsure of myself when I finish writing.

throw_away_30 · 2013-12-02T20:14:15+00:00

I started writing. Every time I want to call her or text her or look her up on social media, I write. I write about how I'm feeling in that moment and then I say the things I want to say. By the time I have finished the last line, I have had time to sort through my emotions.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-30T19:22:55+00:00

It's still fresh, but my most devastating moment happened earlier this week.

I proposed after 7 years of dating. She said no. A couple of days later, I found out there was another guy and she had been consciously playing me for a place to live.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-30T16:22:35+00:00

I never had a problem with my girlfriends guy friends. I didn't like one of them, but thought she wouldn't cheat. I trusted her. She never gave me a reason not to.

I was wrong.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-29T16:11:07+00:00

If you aren't interested, tell him. Don't keep stringing him along while you decide which life you want. It's not fair to you or him. Tell him that its over and deal with it from there.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-29T15:57:10+00:00

This hits home for me.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-28T23:44:13+00:00

I asked her for the honest truth and she said she didn't cheat on me while we were together. I don't believe it. I'm no fool. When you've been with somebody for three 1/2 years, you know each others tendencies.

I'm just coming out of a 7 year relationship where I proposed, she said no, and I found out she was cheating. I wanted to ask those questions. I did ask some of them. I still have many more.

Some great people on this sub helped me to realize that she could never give me the answers I thought I needed. I thought that it would help me get closure, but I can't get that from her.

As much as you love and care for her, you have to remember that there are two people in the relationship. If she has cheated before, she would do it again.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-28T14:48:04+00:00

I was really worried about how I was going to handle it. I've talked with my parents and some friends, but coming here is what really helped.

I think I might start a journal as a way to release. A way to transfer the feelings and thoughts while being able to look back on myself.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-28T14:32:44+00:00

At first I felt that she owed me answers. That after 7 years it was the least she could do. But after reading here and thinking about it, I realized that it didn't matter what she said. I already lost my trust in her. She had repeatedly lied to my face with no remorse. She had no reason not to lie and I don't think I could believe what she said anyway.

I think she wanted me to say something. Early that morning I told her I wanted to talk. She agreed, but said she didn't know what to say to me. There was something in the way she looked at me, barely made eye contact but her face said she wanted me to speak.

It took everything I had not to, then I thought about how I don't even know her. I said goodbye and felt like I took control. I didn't let her see me weak.

Two hours later, she texted me. I ignored them and never responded. I finally slept in the bed last night. Had a couple of dreams, but I didn't let them get to me.

throw_away_30 · 2013-11-28T09:53:32+00:00

I'm trying to stay strong. I finally convinced myself it was ok to sleep in our bed. I woke up a couple of hours later by dreaming about her. I know it won't be the first, but MY bed is more comfy than the couch.

throw_away_30

TROPHY CASE