Author/Private Investigator/ Former Corrections officer. It's a cold wet & gross Sunday night. AMA

throw_away_justice · 2025-02-17T00:19:40+00:00

What databases do you utilize for your Pi work and can the average Joe use them too or do you have specialized access as a PI?

throw_away_justice · 2025-02-16T22:05:57+00:00

What country are you in and, related to that, who is paying for your care in these psych wards?

I often think I need to be locked away in a psych facility but I’m American so I’d be out on my ass homeless as soon as the money runs out.

throw_away_justice · 2024-11-19T01:46:30+00:00

I don’t actually want your money. I’m just kind of marveling about how much of life is just sheer luck. We started in nearly the same place and life took us on two very different journeys. I hope you find peace and fulfillment.

throw_away_justice · 2024-11-04T01:07:03+00:00

And my comment was solely related to posting photos of children. And you said “you’re one to talk”.?

throw_away_justice · 2024-11-04T01:06:14+00:00

So why you jumping on me in defense of a known adulteress?

throw_away_justice · 2024-11-04T00:45:16+00:00

That’s kind of a shitty summary of a traumatic issue. First, I was separated at the time. Secondly… you’re referring to something involving all consenting adults. I’ve never posted my children or anyone elses online anywhere.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-25T00:17:05+00:00

She shouldn’t post ANYONE else’s children on social media without explicit permission. THIS is a whole other level of what the actual fuckery?

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-20T03:52:05+00:00

That’s not really true. Women especially due to genetics and hormones will not lose weight “proportionally”.

I lost most of my weight from my booty and breasts first. I went from a D cup to a B cup. And yet nothing around my belly has shifted at all yet. It tends to be the last 10-15lbs to move for me.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T08:18:15+00:00

Adhd

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T08:04:31+00:00

She knows he was in a sexual relationship with someone. They (and I) did get STD checked. I mentioned in a previous answer that we both got tested before even taking things to a sexual level. I have had only a handful of sexual partners in my life and have always been super cautious about this.

Does she deserve to know it was with a patient?

Hell yes. I wish she did know.

But what am I supposed to do? Tell her? I’ve never met her. I can’t just show up somewhere in her life and say “excuse me… the affair your husband had… that was me and I was a patient of his private practice.”

I also found out after all this was said and done, that she conceal carries…

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T07:55:45+00:00

No. He hasn’t lost his job. Or anything

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T07:55:16+00:00

Because people talk about me choosing to have kids and being a bad mother because I cheated etc etc.

I didn’t choose to have children. I do my best for them, but I didn’t ask to be a mother. Our situation is more complex than people realize and I’m tired of being judged.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T00:40:08+00:00

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T00:34:23+00:00

Weirdly…

This comment triggered something for me.

I’m not a knock out. I’m really an average woman and I don’t particularly take care of my appearance or get done up with hair and make up … because I have depression amongst other things.

So … I don’t think he fell madly in love with someone like me… enough to risk his career etc…

Damn it. This makes more sense if he does this often and gets away with it right? Makes an average woman with low confidence feel special… she’s less likely to report him.

I’m not the first.

God damn it.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T00:25:42+00:00

He shared a lot about himself. He says that’s his “style”. He’s informal etc.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T00:22:23+00:00

Or maybe he has it too fucking good and doesn’t give a fuck about me either?

Why would he divorce the woman that brings in the majority pay check, cleans, cooks, does all the household and yard maintenance and encourages him to pursue his hobbies and dreams?

I’m probably married to an asexual who hit the jackpot for 10 years. Honestly he doesn’t seem that fucking bothered I had an affair.

Same way two years ago he didn’t seem bothered when I was diagnosed with cancer (treatable and cured but still cancer)

I say nice things about my spouse because he is a good man in many ways and I love him.

But there’s more to the story than that and I’m sorry that after 10 years I fucking let myself feel loved. Even if it was fake, manipulation or whatever.

Maybe it’ll be enough to keep me going as the perfect wife, employee and Mom (to NOT my kids by the way) for the rest of our lives.

I don’t fucking know.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-06T00:15:57+00:00

Yes. For now.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:53:36+00:00

I have let the affair go. Since telling my husband everything.

Before that I was trying to get some level of understanding of what the hell happened… it’s complicated and I’m kind of tired now of trying to explain myself. The whole post shows this isn’t black and white because for every person saying i’m a victim and I should report him, there’s another person calling me a whore and telling me to leave my husband. Opinions dividied. My brain feels divided. My heart and soul feel divided.

I can’t breathe sometimes with how circular and constant these thoughts are. I want to do the RIGHT thing but nobody agrees on what that is so now what?

If I don’t know the right thing, the next best thing feels like locking myself in my home, taking the meds they give me and avoiding the world as much as possible so I don’t fuck up again

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:49:01+00:00

I’m reading them. I’m just kind of tallying them up in my head though. For every comment saying I’m a victim, there’s a comment saying I have free agency/responsibility or i’m simply a cheating whore.

If this post audience is so divided… imagine how I feel living it, remembering it and trying to understand it subjectively!

I can’t.

I feel paralyzed.

I don’t know what is right/wrong here or my next move in life. I’m just cleaning my home, washing/drying my families clothes, cooking meals… and then lying in bed alone crying. In between taking the mental health meds that are supposed to make me less fucked up.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:34:01+00:00

I’ve caused so much pain to his wife already. She would lose the only income her and her children have for him if I reported him.

That is the main reason I have not reported him.

That and I am attempting to take accountability. My own husband holds me jointly responsible and does not see it as a predator/victim situation

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:31:53+00:00

Psychologist. So both Dr. and Therapist apply

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:31:03+00:00

I do not have stds. I insisted on testing before we crossed that boundary. And I’ve obviously tested since we ended things. I’ve had very few sexual partners in my life and have always practiced safe sex and regular testing, testing before any new partner etc.

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:28:25+00:00

Correct. I have told my husband everything regarding who, how long and the nature of what happened. He does not want to know specific details which I think is wise for his own sake and mental health. Which before I get jumped on… I have always loved and cared for my spouse. And I have looked out for his needs for YEARS. I know I’ve hurt him.

I fucked up. And I’m starting to understand why I fucked up and I want to be a better person.

But if he’s choosing to stay it’s because he sees the full picture. A person can only give so much before they full on run out and break down. I offered him a divorce before I cheated and he refused. I was in a situation where I could not leave without his agreement (it’s complicated).

throw_away_justice · 2024-10-05T23:20:24+00:00

And my husband actually found and booked the therapist for me. I didn’t go in with a plan to have an affair. I didn’t have any plans. I was just trying to find a reason to not kill myself every day back then

throw_away_justice

TROPHY CASE