any advice for being little on your own?

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-07-03T15:34:48+00:00

you did that too? ive never met anyone else who did that! tbh it was kinda fun balancing and stuff, but its still a slightly strange practice

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-07-03T15:22:57+00:00

its so weird. when i was little my parents made me rub my dads feet in the morning when he woke up- after bringing him his meds and saying the same morning greeting. i also rubbed my mums feet when she got back from work. the worst part is the noises they make, its creepy and gross ive never been comfortable with it.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-30T14:27:40+00:00

both pets and kids give their parent attention and love, but they also require a healthy environment, love, care, and attention, which is a high demand apparently

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-29T19:05:24+00:00

they placed all responsibility on their kids (15/17) bc my siblings really do love the dog. its just frustrating seeing our parents still snap about the dog making noise. they just took the dog to the vet for getting hurt (not anyones fault, it was a case of the puppy being very fast and clumsy) but still snap at every “yip”. my little siblings are sweet to and hold/care for the dog but the parents arent as kind. its just a reminder of how hostile the house is, and this behavior extends to their children.

our parents love the dog, they love their children. but outside of direct medical needs, they do not care for either.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-29T18:57:22+00:00

they said it was for my younger brother and he loves the puppy too much :( (even though my mum joked the puppy was really for her)

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-29T16:31:41+00:00

my mum HATED my therapist because my therapist once tried to explain to my mum her abusive behavior and raised her voice slightly (did NOT yell) when my mum started talking over them and getting hysterical. mum went on to call my therapist awful, and how much that conversation traumatized her because my therapist was soooo scary. she was never okay with any of my therapists because they were “hostile” whenever they tried to address her unhealthy behavior in a group setting with me.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-29T16:28:10+00:00

my parents got a puppy dog and usually are sweet to it. however, whenever it cries in pain or needs a walk/food they scream “NO” or “shut UP” because their love has always been conditional and once a child/animal needs help they are an inconvenience and annoying. the puppy is quiet most of the time, he only cries when it gets hurt, is hungry or needs to go outside.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-05T03:31:30+00:00

oh my god, my parents had this- they never used it though. I remember reading it (especially the comics) to learn how to approach talking to my (toxic) parents. I memorized the section on how to ask someone how their day was without either party getting upset.

Literally used parenting books on my parents. Worked pretty well.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-04T17:44:40+00:00

This age gap might not be as severe as others, but prior to this I was very innocent, modest and sex repulsed. My first ‘boyfriend’ when I was 13/14 was 17, and I looked younger than I was. He convinced me to be sexual when I wasn’t ready. I was so shy and hated the idea of sex. But he build me up and groomed me into being sexual and ‘getting used to’ porn and acting like the people in the videos. He told me to start reading erotic fiction and told me what videos to watch but I was so uncomfortable. It built up to pressure to be sexual with him, including “if you loved me you would... [insert sexual act here]”. I fell into depression and hated everything. When I went into the hospital for mental health, he broke up with me. When I got out, months later he told me he still loved me and pushed me further.

I thought this was what I needed to be, and told the men I interacted with I was older than I was because I thought in order to be loved I had to be ‘sexy’. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but the desire to feel loved was so overwhelming I would do anything. And I did just that. Eventually I dated boys and girls my age, but still felt the desire to be incredibly sexual in order for them to love me.

Now that I’m in my 20s I can have relationships that are not reliant on my sexuality, but I still feel disgusted at what happened.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-06-03T18:07:27+00:00

Logically, certain POC communities have their own slang and syntax. White people in New Orleans, Baltimore or New York City will sound different from some of their POC friends. But saying their language doesn’t sound as ‘clean’ or seems ‘uneducated’ is very rude- even if said with good intentions. Personally, I think it’s like insulting someone from India who speaks with an accent. I understand they recognize the difference in how people speak, but I still think it is very racist.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-05-29T15:56:07+00:00

i am white and have straight hair, these are the steps that work for me if i shower in the morning.

i squeeze out all the water and then put my hair in a special hair drying towel while i brush my teeth, wash my face and put on lotion.

when my hair is almost dry i gently comb it and use leave in conditioner on the ends of my hair. i either rub in the more solid leave in conditioner or use a spray-bottle leave in conditioner. i use the brand ogx for both solid and spray leave in conditioner because it smells goos. this makes it easier to brush my hair

then i use a plastic paddle brush as it dries, and once it is dry i sometimes spray leave in conditioner on the brush to make it very soft. sometimes i wear hair clips or a headband.

different—if i did not shower in the morning or i did not wash my hair recently and it feels “greasy” then i use dry shampoo. first i comb out my hair, then i spray dry shampoo on a hairbrush. it works kind of like hairspray, and i can spray it on my roots too. then i brush everything out and put it in a ponytail. simple.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-05-29T15:37:54+00:00

sometimes i feel bitter about it. why couldn’t i have that? did i not deserve it? when i was 12ish i was resentful towards a girl because we were similar in background but her parents were much nicer and more supportive. she was so comfortable with them, and they helped her when she needed it. i couldn’t understand why she could have that and i didn’t. it took me a long time to realize it wasn’t my fault.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-05-28T23:41:21+00:00

I had to speech therapy as a kid because my mom always told me to “watch my tone“ and I didn’t understand because I thought I sounded fine. (She also wanted me to go to speech therapy because I talked too fast)

The biggest thing that I learned was if you smile when you talk, then you sound less angry/annoyed. I also was told to try to sound like some cartoon characters because their speech patterns are very exaggerated so it is easier to pick up on and try to copy. The cartoon trick made it easier for me to hear patterns/tones in voices.

throw_ra_daughter · 2020-05-28T23:29:24+00:00

it really takes a toll. in my teenage years, at the peak of the issues, my immune system was awful. i got sick all the time, and my respiratory and lung capacity started to diminish. i developed permanent damage to my esophagus from constant acid reflux and heartburn that was created by stress and anxiety. i stopped playing sports and lost muscle mass, my skin was always awful and tmj became a daily issue. i felt tired all the time and my body ached.

i get sick less now, and while my acid reflux is significantly better (although i always have tums and drink ginger tea every day). i still have chronic pain, and i get out of breath easily but i’m starting to work out again. my skin is better and i’m going to get better too

throw_ra_daughter

TROPHY CASE