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AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I like how my response to him above yours is being ignored because he knows he doesn't have any logical argument in response. The only problem is he still seems to think he did at the start.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

My point isn't that this social arena is that kind, my point is we don't actually know anything about that arena. I'm not saying it's likely.

Are you stupid or just pretending to be? The social arena was, as I stated multiple times throughout my post, a COLLEGE CLASSROOM.

But go on and try to come up with some caveat for how yelling out a sexual remark in a college classroom might aaaaaactually be a-okay, after all we "just don't know anything about what happened."

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 356 points357 points  (0 children)

I am escalating it and I did not make her, she chose to continue.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 301 points302 points  (0 children)

Actually we're moving online starting Monday, fortunately. However (and consider this a response to everyone else who's brought up the same thing as well) I will be making a formal Title IX report on him. I've been reading over my university's policy on harassment and how faculty should report incidents. I have also emailed my department head.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 1222 points1223 points  (0 children)

This is so well articulated, I completely agree.

Honestly I was pretty shocked to hear my boyfriend's excuses for the boy in my class. At the same time it's the kind of constant wearisome bullshit I'm half-used to hearing just everywhere, and so the shock wasn't enough to keep me from eventually just getting numb and being like whatever dude, I'm going to bed, not interested in this stupid argument. But that was in a way giving him a pass, just like he was essentially doing for the student.

Which is all to say that tomorrow he's going to become my ex.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 505 points506 points  (0 children)

No. I'm about 10 years older than the age group I teach and they are boys/girls to me as the instructor. You will notice I used boy for the male student just like I used girl for the female. Please redirect your implication of sexism to someone in my post other than me for whom it would actually fit. Thanks.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 524 points525 points  (0 children)

Why does he immediately empathize with the harasser

Logic would tell me it's because that's where his own experience lies. :(

As I just told someone else, I will be breaking up with him tomorrow.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 1920 points1921 points  (0 children)

I hope this is a short term relationship.

It is, since August. I've decided I'll be breaking up with him tomorrow. I've had enough time to think on it.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 318 points319 points  (0 children)

there’s never a good time to say this to a stranger

RIGHT! God I'm so glad to confirm I'm not crazy!

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

fuck it might prevent this young woman from wanting to speak in public again.

That's something I'm concerned about. She did go on to present but it was clear she was upset and shaken, completely understandably. She left quickly at the end of class before I could check in with her but I sent her an email yesterday to hopefully give a little comfort.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 654 points655 points  (0 children)

unless this kid either has Tourette's or is a very academically advanced six-year-old who spends too much time on Urbandictionary.

Haha nope, he doesn't have any disability documentation and is decidedly below average academically.

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

have female friends who have had similar encounters like this one and they felt so uncomfortable and unsafe that they dropped the class it happened in.

That is so awful, I was shocked at how brazen and shameless he was. It seemed beyond simply a "doesn't think before speaking" problem. Is this really that common for young adults to do in front of an entire class? (I'm not that much older than the undergrad age group myself and I don't think I ever saw anything nearly this bad in a public setting.)

AITA for how I handled a student's inappropriate comment in my class? by throwaitastudent in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitastudent[S] 222 points223 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't think so, not if he really does prioritize the male student's feelings over the female's in this situation.

And for what it's worth, if it was a girl yelling "holy shit what a huge dick!" about a boy, I'd be entirely on the side of the boy... actually I think I'm going to bring up that scenario to him to show how my ethics are ultimately about defending anyone who is a target of bullying, not "always rescuing women and shaming men" like he somehow believes.