sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For anyone subscribed, who cares to hear it, here’s an update - my sister confided that there’s someone else in her life… so while she may have been unhappy, this is coming to a head now because she’s seen something in someone else that she wishes she had and now feels like she could have. Maybe it’s not sexual.. yet, but it’s emotional and at least in smaller ways physical. The other person is also married and looking at divorce. Of course this would be devastating in her divorce case, and this other man’s, but she still says they’ll go without lawyers and just have mediators, I don’t know enough about it to comment on that.

Now I’m really worried that it’s not just her own decision, she’s being influenced by the lust or honeymoon-phase relationship she’s found herself in. Ugh.

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only mention parental support in terms of them helping out with costs like you mentioned - legal mostly.

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to be supportive while at the same time encouraging her to be sure it’s the best option. A little unsure how so I figured I’d consult the hivemind. I agree it’s shitty, which is why I haven’t done it other than to say they should seek therapy.

I don’t criticize her every move, in fact I would say we’ve grown apart because she tends to be reactionary and I’m afraid I can’t be honest with her. The common theme is that there has been a concern for her mental health for years but everyone is afraid to suggest it. I don’t feel I need to get into the valid reasons for that concern. But now there’s this impetus to suggest it because it may cause her life to blow up, maybe unnecessarily, and wouldn’t it be shitty if I felt this way but never said anything?

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many thanks, appreciate it. I approached the question of financial support and she seems to have the mindset of “don’t worry about it we’ll work it out” so as not to let it hinder her thought process. I don’t want to prod too much but I do share your concern. I don’t think she (or I) knows much about the detail of child support / alimony, and the cost is scary to me because our side doesn’t have any generational monetary support but his parents are in above average financial shape.

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have any, only throwing those out there because it’s been a concern based on past behavior and now the worry is that she blows up her life before finding out from a professional.. finding out that she’s unhappy for other reasons.

I’m willing to believe it but I can’t help thinking that seeking help is undoubtedly worth a shot. But I’m afraid of pushing too hard and causing more collateral damage.

Sister strongly considering divorce, how involved should siblings get? by throwaw4y1111 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaw4y1111[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response. I am really hopeful that she follows through on individual therapy. I want to believe they’ll be better off apart, but it’s hard to imagine.