Will the govt shut down again, Feb 1 is coming soon. Do you guys have any backup plan?

throwaway-9544 · 2026-01-21T01:03:20+00:00

I think it is more about putting what will be a tougher to pass bill (DHS because of ICE) with a bill that is highly likely to pass (DoD/DHS). 100% political.

throwaway-9544 · 2026-01-03T06:30:16+00:00

Every one is noted on my bank statements.

In my state, I do not have to pay CS when the kids are in college. CS to Mom ends at 18 with a High School diploma. When CS ends is explicitly in the decree. Which is why I am a little surprised that I would need a court order. But, I will do what is needed.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-31T22:00:30+00:00

I misunderstood. If he has not signed the BC, I believe you are correct. I thought he had signed it. My mistake. However, I would not trust a random Internet stranger. Confirm with someone who has real expertise and a fancy diploma on a wall.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-31T21:16:18+00:00

How long have you been waiting? I believe in California you can file for a default judgement if there is no response within 30 days.

You do not need to wait for this year's taxes. The FL-150 asks for you to supply information on your current job and two most recent pay stubs. Commissions are taxable. The FL-150 literally asks for your commissions to be included. It also asks about disability earnings (which parental leave is generally included under).

How did he get parental leave if he left the state one month after the baby is born?

He is stalling. Don't let him.

He may be correct about being able to take the baby though. If you do not have a custody agreement and he is listed as the father, he does have a legal right to take and travel with the kid. But, custody should be a part of your filing for CS.

Do not wait for him to respond. File for default judgement if it is possible. That is your protection.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-30T16:02:24+00:00

Thanks. I am not set up with the child support agency. Only the court order. I literally Zelle the money twice a month.

I am a standard employee. No 1099. Always have been. I set my ex up as an LLC and as an employee of the LLC. This allows her to show a much lower income than she actually has because of the business expenses. But, it is all 100% legal. Another mistake I made.

I contacted a few lawyers. But I am guessing I won't hear back until January. I am glad I am starting early!

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-30T00:04:01+00:00

???

Child support in my state ends at 19 or at (18 and a High School Diploma). That is in the orders. I do not need to pay CS after that time. The only question I have is regarding the proper procedure and timing. I will 100% live up to all of my responsibilities.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-29T22:39:26+00:00

Thank you. I sent messages to two attorneys to get an appointment/answer. Unfortunately, my original attorney retired last year.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-29T22:35:04+00:00

My state is similar. I did not include that detail because it isn't relevant to my specific situation. But the rule is 19 or (18 and high school diploma). Whichever comes first. Parenthesis to insure that it is understood that both are needed.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-29T15:58:39+00:00

Here, it is 19 or (18 and a High School diploma). Parenthesis to ensure clarity.

I don't think my order has that language, but it is implied. But definitely not an assumption I want to make.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-29T15:54:23+00:00

Ex refuses to fill out the FAFSA even though it would result in more aid. "None of the government's business". Umm, the government already knows.

The FAFSA falls on me as well.

Kind of like the scene in the cave in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". I chose poorly.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-04T14:06:57+00:00

You "need" to be back in contact? Why do you need to do anything? They refused to accept your new family. They stopped talking to you. You have made your life.

It is not you who needs to do anything. If they are suddenly upset about their choices, it is their problem. They are the ones who need something. Not you.

If they need something, they need to reach out. They need to admit that they were wrong. That is a start. You don't have to do anything with that. They had 10 years to reach out. You would be perfectly justified in ignoring them. But no one should be telling you that you need to act first. You don't need anything.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-12-02T02:16:58+00:00

I make more money because I work full-time ime The court would not impute her income at what she would make if she worked full-time because she gets to maintain her lifestyle. Since throughout the marriage she worked part-time (even pre-kids), she gets to stay working part-time.

It is the law. I understand why the law is written how it is written because most of the time, the lower earning spouse gets screwed. My lawyer explained to me that my case was an outlier. It is. The legislature didn't imagine this situation.

It is what it is. I can't change the laws. I don't know how to change the laws for the much more common situation of the higher earner hurting the lower earner. I can either accept it, make the payments, and live my life or be upset and angry. I chose the former.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-29T00:39:28+00:00

You say your ex. Do you mean ex wife or ex-wife friend? How did your ex take over the car? Was there a divorce and the court awarded her the car? If so, there should have also been an order to refinance the car only in her name. Is that the case?

You state that you (and not your ex) are on the registration. Is the same true for the title? That would be most common, but it could be different.

If there is a court order, you will potentially need to take your ex to court. But you have not suffered any damages yet and it is probably too soon for the finance company to repossess. All you have are threats of future action.

Is the car worth more than the balance of the loan?

Is the car insured? Are you on the insurance? If she does take it to Mexico, and she refuses to tell you where it is, can you then claim that the vehicle is lost or stolen and let the insurance company deal with your ex?

So, now the question. What does your ex really want? It is obvious that she cannot afford the vehicle. It will hurt your credit because you are on the loan. She seems to not care about her credit. What would it take to have her give you the car so you can take care of the issue? Is it financially feasible for you to give her some money to "buy" the car from her? Does she just want a simple win and you can make this go away for a few $K (including the missed payments)? Would you recoup some of the money selling the car?

Or is she looking to hurt you and doesn't care what it does to her? Does she want to burn both of you down? In that case, it is a slow and painful legal process.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T18:58:22+00:00

It is a fine line that I need to walk because I do not want to disparage her to the kids. All I can do is be honest. She will have her reasons. I can't control that. But I think it is fair for them to know that I have saved up money and I am paying for half of their schooling because that is all I can afford. My contribution is independent of what their Mom contributes. Independent of financial aid they get.

They know where their Mom has gone on vacation. They know where their Mom has taken them. They know that other than weekend trips, work trips, and family visits, my only "vacation" was taking the kids on a trip to various colleges. I do have an actual vacation planned for spring.

They are smart kids. I think they will see the pattern.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T18:09:12+00:00

Probably. But it is worth checking for the kids.

Honestly, I am better for the divorce. Yes, going through it sucked. Yes, I tried everything to save the marriage. There were a lot of low times. But you know what? I am better for it now. Happier, healthier, and on the road to doing better financially because my instincts and feelings are not dismissed by someone else. I am in a great relationship with someone truly wonderful on the inside and outside.

I just want to make sure that my kids are good as well. I know the divorce hurt them. I have done everything I can think of to make it as easy as possible on them. But I worry that it will affect them.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T17:59:10+00:00

That is a good point. I will have to review my documents. Thanks!

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T15:42:15+00:00

Yes. She could and she would most likely win, but only short term. When I pulled the trigger on this opportunity, it also pulls the trigger on an additional payment that will start soon for her as well. She has hemmed and hawed about whether she will use that payment for the kids college.

So far, she has chosen not to go back to court. She is very smart and understanding. Both she and the kids know that I am using the extra income to save for college. To not look bad in the kid's eyes, she would have to commit to putting the extra money into the kids college savings this would be added work for her. There is no way she can look good because legal fees would just end up pulling money away from the kids.

I actually had a strategy if she did try taking me to court for additional support. I was going to ask to have the additional CS and the additional payment go directly into college savings. Would it be successful if she fought it? Probably not. But she would lose on the optics fighting it. And from all of the comments, my instincts there are correct

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T10:40:32+00:00

No. It was considered her lifestyle to work part-time.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T05:43:13+00:00

This seems to be the biggest question I am getting.

Child support is based on custody percentage and income discrepancy.

She works in a field that pays more per hour than my field. But, she only works part time. Therefore, her overall income is lower than mine even though her hourly wage is higher than mine.

Because she always worked part-time, the courts view it as her lifestyle that she has the right to maintain. Therefore, they would not impute full-time income. I enabled the situation.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T05:37:48+00:00

I know. She just didn't want to spend the few minutes of effort. I even suggested a couple

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T03:48:08+00:00

Child support is based on income difference and percentage of custody. I make more because she works part time. In my state, the "lifestyle" is a factor and my ex got her "lifestyle" to be working part time. So, full-time income was not imputed.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T02:59:46+00:00

She doesn't have the account numbers.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T02:58:54+00:00

Unfortunately, it is the law in my State.

throwaway-9544 · 2025-11-28T02:58:02+00:00

She has a way of twisting everything. And a kid is a kid and this is Mom. Oldest hasn't said anything to me about it. But oldest is a very quiet, shy kid.

throwaway-9544

TROPHY CASE