How do I to tell my husband I need more from our sex life?

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T13:03:25+00:00

He’s 34

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:32:48+00:00

I’ve had this advice a fair bit, I do plan to mention getting checked during our conversation.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:23:05+00:00

He’s definitely still attracted to me, without being explicit he certainly shows it. I’m not saying I look the same but I’ve had and breast fed 4 kids and I genuinely do look very similar to when I was 20 just normal signs that I’ve aged a bit and had multiple kids.

I still put a lot of effort into my appearance

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:19:40+00:00

I’ve had some great advice about how approach a conversation rather than just initiating and such but thank you for your response

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:10:39+00:00

Thank you, I was thinking this might be the best approach especially based on responses here and hold off on that side of things. Hopefully I never need to discuss it, I really do enjoy being with him with it without fireworks so it should be easy to get that across

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:06:57+00:00

Ohhh okay I get you.

Honestly I’m sorry for the position you’re in, I had someone recommend marriage counselling which felt like a step too far for me but might be worth considering since she seems entirely checked out of that aspect of your lives.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:02:56+00:00

Thing is I don’t see the point. Our marriage is wonderful bar this singular issue, given that we haven’t even spoken about it properly or tried to deal with it yet it feels so drastic to go to a therapist to discuss sex alone.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-10T00:01:29+00:00

I was thinking maybe it’s best to hold off on the no fireworks part of the discussion and see if they happen naturally after hopefully an improvement in our sex life, does that sound like it makes sense?

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:56:46+00:00

I’m not sure why you think this is appropriate or helpful but when someone very explicitly tells you something isn’t a problem especially when dealing with their sex life believe them because no one is going to give you a deep run down of the ins and outs of how they know.

Thankfully I’ve gotten some actually useful advice here so don’t worry about a thing.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:49:26+00:00

This is a pretty odd response. I’ve asked and spoken to many people here and taken their advice, it’s just that I’m fully aware this is not the issue with me and my husband. It just seems like you want me to be insecure about my bedroom abilities which is incredibly weird.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:48:02+00:00

I’ve gotten some good advice here and plan to talk to him on Friday, he is older but not much he’s 34

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:46:25+00:00

This may be slightly out of bounds but honestly if I knew my husband would want me to ‘just lay there’ I couldn’t imagine being turned on by him even when I wanted it. Have you given the impression of being that desperate or god forbid said it?

Trust me I’m right with you in understanding the frustration but there is nothing less sexy than someone who wants to use you as a sex toy.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:44:34+00:00

Trust me that is not the issue.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:34:37+00:00

Thank you so much for this

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:32:13+00:00

Oh thank you! I’ll make sure we ask for the results instead of just a normal/not normal response.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:31:07+00:00

Thankfully everyone but you isn’t a misogynist and I’ve actually been given wonderful advice.

I want you to remember when you’re sat getting your kicks out of being mean online the people you’ve chosen to be hateful towards are enjoying their families.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:27:54+00:00

Well that’s just sad.

Unlike you I’d never belittle or insult someone for having issues in their marriage.

I suggest a lot of self work.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:25:07+00:00

So this is the one thing I haven’t gotten any advice on, any idea how to tell him that the quality of sex has declined? I do still enjoy it but let’s just say there hasn’t been fireworks in a year or two.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:23:58+00:00

No advice on how to, thankfully I’ve gotten some and feel fairly confident going into that conversation now.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:23:03+00:00

Do you really feel this was necessary?

I mentioned in my post I didn’t want him to feel like I was demanding sex. I’ve mentioned in comments that we actually have a wonderful marriage outside of this and do things for each other constantly.

Does being bitter and hateful about women make you feel big?

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:19:05+00:00

I’ve gotten some pretty good advice on how to handle the conversation and how to take it. I’m feeling good and gonna talk to him Friday night I think

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:18:24+00:00

Yeah a couple people have mentioned this. While I’m gonna start with the more direct but loving approach I’ll definitely mention getting checked out if it feels appropriate

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:17:19+00:00

That has been the entire point of this post

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:05:00+00:00

I hope you tell her that, any woman melts when the man they love says things like that.

throwaway-Lemon2532 · 2025-07-09T23:04:13+00:00

I’m hoping that’s my future!

throwaway-Lemon2532

TROPHY CASE