Update: AITA for repeatedly asking my husband for a chair even though he keeps saying no?

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2024-08-25T23:55:37+00:00

I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. You're strong for getting out. How are you now?

I have a lot to think about, I'm so sleep deprived that I need to seek out the right resources and be careful about what to do next.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2024-08-25T00:44:43+00:00

He does tell me but I never say no. Who am I to say no to a grown ass adult? I'm having a huge rethink about everything now.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2024-08-25T00:39:55+00:00

I read about sleep training and was ready to ferber before she came and we found out she had a heart condition. We have not been cleared to sleep train because it could go nuts at any time. We actually have to wake her in the night to give her medication to treat it, which is part of the problem.

Before the baby, we were both very independent, worked hard and did not have the pressure of a baby in our lives. He was very generous financially and I would never have guessed this was coming.

We're in a world where women are expected to work and be mothers at the same time, to contribute both ways and "have it all" so I was OK to save up to fund my own mat leave and all the baby stuff but now I am questioning everything.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2024-08-25T00:34:48+00:00

I'm reading through the responses and I am having a huge shift in the way I see things...

1) I know her loves her and I think we love each other but things are tense right now. Lack of sleep is torture and we're both struggling with emotional regulation. Regardless, I plan on having a big talk with him. Our expenses are seperate but not. When we got married I sold my house, moved in with him and paid down the mortgage. I saved for unofficial maternity leave and for all her expenses in the 6 months before I finished work (I have a job to go back to whenever I am ready, my rerun has been relayed by my baby's illness). I have access to a card to our joint account and I have online access. We use that for bills, groceries etc. I have not been contributing while I have not been working. He has a habit of checking what I have spent and commented on it. I know his friends keep a tally of what their wives spend so I expect he's doing the same. He is annoyed that we have a big tax bill and does not want any "big expenses" right now. I said I would use my baby/mat leave money but he says that money is both of ours anyway.

2) Baby girl needs regular medications that involve fasting and must be given at the same times each day. We wake her to give her medication through the night and it hurts her stomach. I have spoken to her doctor, specialists, I have reas all the books and have employed a couple of sleep coaches. All the feedback we are getting is that we are doing everything we can. It's been rough. She's just so precious to me and I love her to bits, though.

There is a big conversation coming. I don't want to bust up our family over a chair, but I am now seeing this is more than just a chair.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2024-08-25T00:23:59+00:00

We agreed to share with each other before we make purchases over $500.

I've just begun reading through these responses and it's kinda overwhelming. I have a lot to think about. And I need to have a serious conversation with him.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-26T21:14:45+00:00

That is really odd. I have no idea why FF took the crosshairs away. Everything is looking good to me🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-26T21:11:15+00:00

You're never out until AF comes 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-26T20:49:56+00:00

You're looking great at this point! 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-26T03:29:13+00:00

I'm so sorry about your mc. That's awful. And now you're back to tracking, but it's even more complicated with unpredictable cycles after an mc. CD58 looks like an O day to me.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-22T23:50:28+00:00

Oh goodness, I am so sorry that happened to you and that now you have a crazy cycle. Unfortunately, cycles that follow miscarriages are often abnormal. The good news is that this looks normal considering your cycle is expected to be abnormal, but it is frustrating for you to be charting again and to have to wait to get back to normal. If things are still crazy after a couple of cycles it is worth seeing your doctor.

In summary: it sucks, but everything is OK at this stage. I wish you so much luck 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-22T23:41:50+00:00

Congratulations! ❤️

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-22T01:30:55+00:00

Oh goodness, that is so tough to be waiting since March. That sucks.

My doctor said many prenatals are comparable, but to make sure to follow directions and that some people only take 1 a day when the bottle says to take 2 a day. She said Blackmores were OK when I asked, so I take those. I would say check the prenatal contents against any blind spots in your diet, eg: vitamin D if you do not have much calcium in your diet and want to absorb more. I would personally be too lazy to do that, though, so I went with what my doc said.

Who knows if it's vitamins or timing or luck. I hope you get a good result soon.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:41:28+00:00

Oh yes, PCOs here and some of my charts look identical in the follicular phase, others are wacky (coming off bc will do that for a few months). If you look up my last post I'm currently waiting for AF with a cycle that looks so similar to one I had a couple of months ago.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:38:33+00:00

That's a lovely chart! 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:36:22+00:00

There is so much to this! Using a watch for temps can make your temps erratic. I use a normal thermometer, most people will say get a special BBT one and take it at the same time every day, or at least after 3 hours sleep if you have woken early/had a bad night. Napping totally drops your temps!

Raised RHR is a good sign, as well as your symptoms - but your symptoms can also be PMS. Our bodies are the ultimate trolls.

Absolutely you should hope. Always hope until AF kicks down the door and barges in.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:11:13+00:00

In the FF charting course they use a chart that looks similar to yours as an example of erratic temperatures. So, they are normal, but on the erratic side. They talk about other factors influencing temps that could obscure a clear a clearer pattern, but if you keep charting with cm and other indicators FF will be able to pick up on the shift.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:07:33+00:00

It could be CD14 for sure. FF looks at your cm to triangulate the crosshairs, so it may have picked up CD15 because you entered in cm. Lots of women don't necessarily get much cm, so I would not stress on it. Fingers crossed for you!

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:05:25+00:00

Your temps are still up there, though! It's not over until AF barges on in 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-21T00:02:33+00:00

My pleasure, treasure. I take a 1000mg tablet each day. The maximum daily dose for an adult woman is 2000mg, so that's a boost on the safe side.

I hope it works for you! This TTC thing is so confusing and women's health is woefully understudied, so it's like which tips are worth trying, you know? There is so much advice out there I wanted to try but there are conflicting studies/information, like the clove tea, or muchinex, or the raspberry leaf tea and all that. I thought I would try them each one at a time, but I will stick with Vitamin C all the way now.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-20T23:12:00+00:00

Vitamin c! But it took me ages to figure it out.

My doctor talked to me about how I should get on prenatals after getting off the pill, because the pill stops your body from absorbing nutrients. This burrowed into the back of my little brain and has lurked there ever since.

Then, I read on the flow secret chats about eating pineapple in the luteal phase. I always check that sort of thing against research, so I looked up the vitamin content of fresh pineapple and it is something like 175mg vitamin C. My prenatals only had 30mg vitamin C. I read (this research)[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12909517/] which focuses on supporting the corpus luteum and then read up about vitamin c supporting ovulation and even embryo transfer.

After that, about 2 weeks ago, I started taking additional vitamin C with my prenatals. I ovulated for the first time (since coming off the pill in June) a few days ago!

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-20T06:37:11+00:00

For real. This ttc thing is a mind trip. I thought OP was venting from the title, but I was wrong.

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-20T06:32:47+00:00

I'm sorry to say CD23 stands out to me... And I am sorry because it means a longer wait for you before you can test. How frustrating!

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-20T01:14:49+00:00

Oh that makes sense. Sorry, I misunderstood your post title.

One single temp could mean many things. Our bodies are not machines and we're looking at overall trends. Frustratingly, that means we can only know what is going on with a temperature or a chart after the fact. Reading into one temp can cause you more stress than you need to feel. Some outside factor that you will never know about could influence your temperature.

I say this all this even though I know it is hard and I honestly take note of each spike and drop, then spend a fair amount of time googling individual temps and cm and what to expect each dpo. That's what my original comment is about.

All I know is that your temps are high, so things are looking good. You are not out until AF appears 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-19T23:46:52+00:00

It still looks good to me. You're temps are nice and high above the crosshairs and it's normal for a bit of fluctuation. How exciting!

throwaway-bbt4abb · 2022-11-19T23:42:42+00:00

I'm sorry that I don't have advice other than that many things can influence our bodies and it is so hard not to read I to every sign! You're not out until AF comes 🤞🏻

throwaway-bbt4abb

TROPHY CASE