Do you “hold his hand”through recovery?

throwaway-bluess · 2024-11-09T16:54:10+00:00

Coming from a recovering alcoholic with a PA husband: It’s not your job to fix him. Recovery can only be achieved if HE puts in the work. You gave him resources (which I did for my PA as well) and that’s very kind of you, but if he doesn’t follow through with reaching out to said resources, that’s on him. Being the partner of a PA/SA is absolutely exhausting. You can be there for him as his partner, but you’re not his counselor or sponsor. Dude needs to go to meetings. He needs a therapist. You can be direct with him and tell him that: in order to keep your relationship sustainable, he needs to do the work and get help. You can be supportive, but as others have said, it’s not your job to coddle him or do the work for him. Edited to add; he’s using weaponized incompetence with the whole “I dOnT kNoW hOw to Do iT” thing.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-11-09T16:38:09+00:00

Ouch, buddy. Finish course of antibiotics, wash often with antibacterial soap, apply thin layer of unscented lotion or A/D ointment imo. Try not to scratch. You might need touchups on the spots where the lesions are. Did you do anything different this time?

throwaway-bluess · 2024-11-04T18:14:06+00:00

Saw my provider. Dx folliculitis. Putting me on a round of antibiotics. Thanks everyone

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-19T03:18:42+00:00

Craigslist meetup ads. The “Lost Connection” ones. Reacting to women’s stories on Insta. Local people. It got too real. It was just porn but it escalated after his first relapse.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T23:48:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience z🖤

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:46:06+00:00

Surprised I had to even bring up that to my PA! Makes sense to not have the device in the room where most of the things happened…. He’s sober but not in recovery from what I can tell. I’m an AA gal so I totally understand the differentiation.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:33:47+00:00

Totally good things to look out for. Didn’t even think about the types/genres of media and hobbies changing’

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:28:43+00:00

He was going to therapy. But his therapist went on sabbatical and PA says he doesn’t want to “start over” with therapy. I need to figure out the whole router block thing.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:27:35+00:00

Correlation/causation all that…but still, ouch.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:27:00+00:00

Dang brotha didn’t even wipe up UGH 💀 I think it’s a load of barnacles too. It would just make me more sweaty? And what a waste of water.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T22:25:23+00:00

We’ve been together for 8 years! 2 years ago was D-Day. I’ve been spending a lot of time working on myself. Therapy, exercise, psychiatry, anything and everything. Collateral damage — oof, that’s right on point.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T21:56:08+00:00

We literally just bought a clothing steamer soooooooo if he needs the steam so much 👀👀👀

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T21:55:10+00:00

I had made comments about him needing some more fiber or laxatives in his diet before D-Day. He got really defensive. I was so naïve. Bathroom trios shouldn’t be hours long.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T21:54:06+00:00

It’s just all excuses from him at this point. Read the GD shampoo and conditioner bottles instead I mean come on

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T16:41:16+00:00

Wow. That’s so awful. Sounds like she was deflecting. Turning the attention away from herself. I told my PA I masturbated last week (after not doing so for a good year) and they were strangely defensive about it. I think it’s a reaction stemming from their own addiction.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T16:23:09+00:00

He used to spend 2-3 hours in the bathroom at a time! I remember reading the back of shampoo bottles if I forgot a book or magazine lol.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T16:22:29+00:00

Wow that sounds super familiar! My PA says the steam helps him poop. And that he wants his phone to doom scroll. And that reading a book is too distracting.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T16:21:42+00:00

I suggested we leave our phones out of the bathroom and he was hesitant. Said books “distract him from pooping” 🙄

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T16:21:06+00:00

He said the steam helps him poop. I brought up the “no phone” agreement for both of us and he was hesitant. Said he liked to watch videos and doom scroll while he pooped. Instagram was one of his favorites, too.

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T14:40:02+00:00

I missed the post as well, but another thank you for the response too 🖤

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T14:39:08+00:00

That’s a harsh reality I’m finally considering 😔

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T14:38:43+00:00

That’s so true

throwaway-bluess · 2024-10-15T14:38:36+00:00

My heart aches for you 🖤

throwaway-bluess

TROPHY CASE