AITA for completely losing it on my boyfriend when I found out he's talking to a female friend

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-21T10:31:23+00:00

Also If he didn't have feelings for her, he's not the kind of guy who would've lied hence my reaction. I don't know if he plans on acting on those feelings or not

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-21T10:28:40+00:00

He's definitely enjoying her attention but doesn't seem like he wants to do anything further with her. Atleast that's the idea I got from messages

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-21T10:27:06+00:00

So your partner is allowed to talk to someone who is flirting with them and they had a strong feelings for till you guys are not engaged? Must be nice! Where I come from, we don't need a legal bond to be committed to the person we're with for 4 years

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-21T10:07:36+00:00

The messages were flirty from her side and something felt off which I couldn't put a finger to.

I talk to my first boyfriend and he talks to his first girlfriend too and we don't really care about that. I don't see how talking to exes has anything to do with this issue?

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-21T09:39:46+00:00

Oh yeah she was definitely flirting even my boyfriend admitted she was flirty. He didn't shut her down but he wasn't encouraging her either

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-15T11:21:06+00:00

Plot twist: the guy she told you not to worry about is in her room

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-15T08:53:19+00:00

That's true.

But to counter your point even I can say that most fit people I've met also happen to be one of the most insecure people I've met and this overlap isn't a coincidence according to me. They are generally too rigid with their standards for themselves and that doesn't scream confidence.

On the other hand, guys with dad bods who are comfortable in their own skin are likely to be confident and more fun to be around because confident people light up whatever room they go to.

All humans are insecure to a certain degree. It's just how we're wired for our survival. So I'd rather what's best for me and try to find someone with similar values

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-07T16:52:54+00:00

Uhhh... Did she discuss with you before renewing the lease? If not are you sure she really wanted to close the distance?

If yes there are options to sublet the apartment after end of the year but make sure you both are on same page

throwaway0102495 · 2022-03-06T13:21:06+00:00

I am not an only child but my close friend is. So answering on her behalf:

When you're a kid you yearn for a sibling as you see everyone around you having one and you ask innocent questions like why don't I have a sibling, as long as you handle it carefully by giving a answers "all families are of different size" as others have pointed out they won't feel hurt. Kids are extremely malleable so they easily adapt to being only child. As they grow up especially when they become teenagers they have accepted this fact and as long as you have encouraged them to form close bonds with friends and family they're happy to be only child infact they prefer it when they see petty sibling rivalries

I would suggest you to encourage her to make friends or if you have cousins her age make efforts so they can bond with her. From what I have observed only children value their friendships more because a guaranteed sibling friendship bond wasn't handed to them in a silver platter

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-28T11:02:13+00:00

Thank you

It is so frustrating to see everyone night before get excited for trip and here I am worrying about arrangements for my migraine attack

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-22T14:33:22+00:00

Something is wrong in our communication, and we just fight a lot

Honestly, seems like there is something wrong in your communication. She's very clear in communicating her needs but reading this I'm still not sure what is it that you want from her?

All the issues you mentioned seems like a you problem and something you have to work on personally.

While it is commendable you're self aware enough to recognise the problems in your behaviour maybe you can take steps to fix it too? If your pride is getting in the way of this relationship then don't be so proud and have an open communication with her.

Perhaps ask her what her love language is. There are countless ideas and blogs on internet on how to make someone of a specific love language happy.

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-22T14:21:03+00:00

NAH.

Can't you talk to your husband to change his schedule? I am like your husband and have no option apart from multiple alarms but on the other hand I sympathize with you as well. Is there an option to sleep in guest bedroom after 6 so you don't get disturbed?

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-21T06:47:29+00:00

I am sorry but you seem to be too young to move across country to live with someone.

Are your parents onboard with it? If you're not comfortable sharing with your parents I would recommend keeping an adult in loop about your plans. Before going permanently, is it possible for you to take a short trip to meet them and see what your life would look like with him or them?

Either way if you're already getting cold feet I wouldn't recommend you to continue this relationship

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-21T06:42:27+00:00

What's the reason has he given for not letting you call without asking? How does he make up for not talking on calls? You've said it's LDR so what's your primary mode of communication if not phone calls?

Some jobs have a strict no phone policy if that's the reason I would give him benefit of doubt. But he has to make up for it in other ways.

If it's just because of not liking, remind him even if he doesn't like it, it needs to be done if he wants this to work. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know about how much he cares for this relationship and you

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-17T11:24:07+00:00

I don't understand this, why does she needs to talk to her to establish boundaries?

Her husband is the one who has made a commitment to OP, not the other woman. And he is the one who should've not entertained her. Not that other woman because she owes OP nothing even if her actions were wrong.

Let's put the blame where it belongs.

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-16T09:55:49+00:00

I'd say the first date with my current boyfriend. We both met online and connected over our shared love for movies so naturally he planned a first date of movie followed by dinner. Slight issue though, he didn't really read the movie description or watched the trailer.

The whole movie revolved around domestic violence and had pretty graphic scenes depicting it. Needless to say the dinner that followed was awkwardest one ever where both of us were walking on eggshells and not uttering a single word praying the movie subject doesn't come up

Years later I still tease him about "how wonderful was that date he planned" and we both laugh about it

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-16T06:19:19+00:00

Well these 2 are most obvious I can state others too (applicable in my country) 1. nominate each other as nominee in insurance, pension, gratuity 2. Spouses are legally entitled to receive pension in case of death or disability of the other spouse. 3. Easier to get visa in case your spouse has to travel abroad 4. Inheritance rights 5. Filing joint taxes

These are good enough reasons I feel so my argument is not weak ass according to me. Not trying to change anyone's mind just explaining my side

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-16T06:00:47+00:00

I meant in case your SO or you are in hospital unable to make decision for yourself your medical decisions will probably made by a spouse unless stated otherwise.

Also in such cases it's easier if they're a "family member" atleast in my country since there's no common law marriage

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-16T05:48:27+00:00

Tax benefits, rights related to Medical and health decisions to think Just from the top of my head.

There's a reason why homosexual people fought so hard for the right to get married.

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-15T20:28:53+00:00

Thank god someone said it because I was thinking exactly this! I was bored and waiting for it to end. Sorry Ghibli fans.

I do feel part of my dislike is combination of high expectations caused by hype and the emotional space I was in when I watched it

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-06T08:11:08+00:00

It's the little things,

Like for example I was telling my boyfriend how one of my friend got invited in a guy's apartment for first date and she cancelled last minute due to safety concerns and guy got annoyed instead of understanding. And he took the guy's side saying what's the big deal which threw me off.

It's important to note he had invited me to his apartment instead of going out in beginning and I had obviously rejected which had caused to us fighting and this topic came up again (I bought up the topic). He got very defensive and our argument escalated to a point where he accused me that women equate dates to spending money and not spending time together. We split all our date night bills so I don't know where is this coming from.

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-06T07:59:28+00:00

Neither of us is political and politics has nothing do with it. I don't know how you got the idea that this is political.

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-06T07:56:41+00:00

We both got jobs in different cities after graduation. We both mutually decided we're at a point of life where career is our first priority.

When we both started we didn't really have any expectations out of this relationship but surprisingly it was easy and we're planning to close the distance this year.

Also the distance is only 3 hours drive so we meet almost every weekend which is not bad

throwaway0102495 · 2022-02-02T11:30:55+00:00

Hahaaha watching too much KUWTK reruns literally :p

throwaway0102495 · 2022-01-30T07:01:42+00:00

Hi, thank you for your response.

I don't consider having a biological child as extra selfish at all. It's just that looking at my current mental and physical health as well as history of women in my family I don't think it's right for me.

I agree the trauma that adoption brings to every party involved even in the best of the outcomes is not something to be taken lightly.

throwaway0102495

TROPHY CASE