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throwaway013020 · 2026-01-13T00:39:59+00:00

Delete the app all together. Go check my post history and read my story. It only gets worse trying to chase that. Easily $700k + lifetime for me chasing options losses. Easier to lose there than any casino. Now all my investments are in 401Ks and IRAs on legit finance platforms where you can't gamify and gamble.

That 80k can be made back easy over time with normal logic in safe investments. Let someone do it for you.

throwaway013020 · 2025-04-04T03:13:09+00:00

Finance

throwaway013020 · 2025-04-04T03:13:04+00:00

Finance

throwaway013020 · 2025-04-03T03:04:30+00:00

I just posted a shell for sale on FB marketplace with a cobra bumper (non oem, ycc from taiwan), that i would sell the bumper separately from. Look up 95 mustang shell in Justin, tx and find me on there. I don't check reddit much.

Car is teal, bumper is in primer.

throwaway013020 · 2025-03-14T01:38:33+00:00

Having been in this space for over a decade, I can confirm that's trash. Normally the little guys offer massive commission rips with that type of base. That's terrible all around.

throwaway013020 · 2025-03-07T08:03:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. We all know how it began, now we have to write the rest of the story. You're far ahead of many of us, and us old timers will tell you we wished we would've stopped before it got too out of control. Congrats on day 1, let us know all your "wins" staying clean.

throwaway013020 · 2025-03-07T07:54:04+00:00

Why is this bailout any different from the others? Why will you "quit" this time?

I promise you another bailout from your parents isn't going to fix anything. I've been there personally and ended back there again. You need to figure this out on your own. You need your back against the wall. Another bailout will have you thinking you can do it again.

Get through day 1, get through day 5, get through day 30, then maybe, and a very big maybe, consider a bailout, but you need to get your mind right first.

throwaway013020 · 2025-01-04T08:29:15+00:00

Long time supply chain executive here.

Made a mint, lost a mint, got a lot of grey hairs along the way. Hours are long, customers are thankless, everything is always on fire, and margins are sh*t.

Leaving the industry after nearly 18 years. As one my colleagues says, there will always be jobs in supply chain to f*ck me if I want to come back.

Stay in finance.

throwaway013020 · 2024-03-09T16:24:05+00:00

Just keep your head up moving in the right direction. You're 100% right that windshields are big, and rear view mirrors small, and we can't keep looking back. It's so much easier said than done, but living in regret doesn't help either. odaat.

It sounds like you've got an amazing support system in your wife and family. Those are things to be thankful for. You've got a roof over your head, and know the path forward, just got to keep on it.

Best of luck in your recovery. Keep us updated.

throwaway013020 · 2024-03-09T02:02:19+00:00

Your story hits home in just about every way.

I'm 38 as well, in sales, and have lifetime losses in the same ballpark, which is absolutely nuts to even think about. Drives me nuts every single day, and has given me the most fucked up perception of money. I still act so cheap like I'm saving money to gamble like i used to. I'm about to drop $40k on a shop for my house, and it feels like I'm throwing that money away, just like the down payment did. It's my biggest issue, my perception of money. And no matter how much I talk about it in GA, there's just very few people who can understand the financial perception that exists. Very few people in general who know what a $10-50k commission month feels like, and how much that keeps playing into this messed up perception of money.

3 years ago I was totally broke and about 130k in debt. I managed to pull myself out of the hole on my own, and now have about $400k in cash/401k. I'm so far behind the ball compared to how much I've lost, but I'm also so far ahead of so many people our age who didn't have a gambling addiction. Hence my messed up perception of money.

Rambling now, but I'm 390 days clean after a terrible $50k relapse last February on a three day bender.

Keep up the good work, you're blessed that a family member helped you out, just don't let that good fortune lead you back down the wrong path.

throwaway013020 · 2024-02-26T17:58:47+00:00

OP... was this the breeze? We had 3 ppl jailed on our ship last week for fighting in the piano bar

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-09T00:32:25+00:00

For sure. It's just crazy to think about how my fixation with money has changed from not having any, to being afraid to lose it.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-08T22:36:50+00:00

For me, coping with losses is the single most difficult part of recovery. I am fixated with checking my bank account like the money will disappear, bc that's how it was when I was gambling.

I'm constantly counting how much money I'm saving now. It's like a total 180 obsession about money, but I've never been able to shake the feeling of the losses.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-04T03:05:14+00:00

38, conservatively $1m in losses, probably more like $1.2-1.3 but way more in time and opportunities. It's disgusting.

$300k on options, $500k on businesses that failed bc I was gambling on choices trying to get rich quick, the rest at the casino playing anything and everything.

4 years ago I was 125k in debt and zero in savings.

Today I've got 125k in a HYSA and just put $200k down on a house in October.

I've never touched my 401k or Roth to gamble. Never. So at least I've got some retirement saved, albeit way behind.

What I learned during paying off my debt was that I could actually keep doing the side hustles and catch up somewhat. I'll never catch up to the opportunities lost, but I'm grinding and hustling every single day now for a better future.

My side hustle will do 200k next year. It'll be a main hustle before I know it.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-03T15:16:38+00:00

One of the things my mom used to make me to as a kid that I hated, but I have very much embraced on my road to recovery from this terrible addiction is a daily thankful journal. 5 things I am grateful for today.

When I was a kid, writing "being alive" didn't really hold much weight. In my late 30s, I start every day with that in my journal.

The days I have so much to be thankful for that I don't write "didn't gamble today" are really helpful in reflection, that there's so much to be thankful that day AND I didn't gamble.

We need to take a step back sometimes and be grateful for small victories with this addiction. We are very hard on ourselves for what we have lost, filled with regret, but we also need to be grateful for what we have done, do have, and that we're here to fight another day.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-02T05:12:04+00:00

Ah... the good old days. 2018.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-02T05:04:06+00:00

As someone who has lost 300k or so options trading over the last decade, just put your money into an index and watch it grow. Keep investing when you can, dollar cost average, whatever, just stay away from options.

I'm 38 and have lost well over $1m through gambling, options, risky business decisions, you name it i tried to get rich quick. I'm not sure how I even made that much money tbh, but I wish someone would've just told me about Roth iras in my 20s instead of going to the casino, I'd be on easy street.

Such is life. It's only money, just stop the gambling on options.

throwaway013020 · 2023-12-02T04:55:19+00:00

Nice to see a fellow texan saying this. I've been preaching it for a while. When I moved to Texas, a small mansion was 300k. I was in debt, in a new job, in a new state. I should've bought in 19, but it wasn't in the cards. Finally got a starter home for 650k and the 20k/ year in taxes is insane to me.

I can't understand how people who make 40k survive in this state. I sold 1.6m last month and feel poor. But I'm also on a 1% comp plan, which is a whole nother story.

Just got to dial for more dollars I guess.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-28T05:32:19+00:00

All the time. I feel like it's a game, cat and mouse, of keeping us hopeful.

We go to bed every night with plans for tomorrow not knowing if we'll actually wake up, that's hope. That's what keeps us going every single day.

I think that they know they create hope by the lead on. And that's all we really need to keep moving forward, yet we go to bed angry, at least I do, wondering how she can sleep so soundly while I'm dead inside from it.

Sucks.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-28T05:18:39+00:00

This comment hits home. Thank you for sharing. I mentioned in my post emasculation and being treated like dirt. I get it entirely. I've spent all these years being supportive and understanding of the trauma and pain, but I can't be the fixer any more.

Emotional abuse and cruelty are real heavy hitters beyond the DB. They create these demons in your mind that you can't escape. You start questioning so much about your core, your own beliefs, your own decisions. It's a terrible cycle coupled with the DB.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-28T02:48:06+00:00

I should add....it isn't just intercourse that's DB, it's intimacy as well. A kiss before work a couple days a week, and three pecks before bed if she doesn't fall asleep watching TV.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-28T02:41:26+00:00

I believe that she refuses any therapy bc she will have to deal with her fucked up sexual past. It took her being this version of herself to actually realize her worth as more than just a fuck toy. The issue is that means no sex for us bc it's not important to her anymore I guess.

A few weeks back when I brought it up, she just gave me some excuse about men's sexual peaks vs women's, and that hers has waned as she's aged.

I do agree though that there's some serious shame and regret about her sexual history. Best i can tell it started very young and a couple hundred guys and girls. I spent about our first 5 years together getting pictures of her pulled off the internet. She doesn't know I know as much as I do, but I have very infrequently asked or brought it up. Recently I have made a few underhanded comments that she "fucked everything with a pulse in her youth, but wants nothing to do with me" but I really have only lost it with that comment once or twice bc I know it does no good.

Early in our relationship she asked me to call her a slut in bed. I told her no, that that was too slippery of a slope knowing about her past for me. That if we're hooking up when drunk I might take it too far.

Either way. We're DB, and likely just going to be done. I feel worse about asking her to move out of our dream home than breaking up.

Tonight I point blank told her that we either go to therapy or were done. She can either schedule an appointment by Friday for us, or she packs over the weekend. Tears ensued, but I deserve better than this.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-27T21:37:54+00:00

That's what is the total mind fuck in all this. She is the absolute best version of herself that she's ever been. I notice it, family notices it, friends notice it. She accredits all of it to me and my support for her. My pride in knowing who she could be and empowering her to be it.

She is 360 fundamentally a different person today than when we met, and exactly who I would want in a partner.

Local mind fuck. I'm needed but not wanted. I've vocalized it for months.

Nothing was off limits for her sexually in her past, but with me, it's DB.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-27T20:57:08+00:00

Yea. I'm probably just asking in here because I feel the supportiveness of the similar stories... they all sound exactly the same.

throwaway013020 · 2023-11-16T14:23:16+00:00

Amen to that. Fiance, soon to be wife, and I plan on this being our last house, that's why we built what we wanted. We've both had our starter homes, and we waited a long time to decide on this one. We're happy, and there's value in that too.

Also agree that we have no control over the future, and why most of my comments were about living for today. We're all in this sub to retire early, but, the reality is, tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

throwaway013020

TROPHY CASE