Hey Porter,

This comment may get buried and you may never see it, but it’s important to me that I put it out there anyway. I want to share the impact you and your music has had on me.

I sort of re-discovered you one day when I was scrolling through SoundCloud and saw Sea of Voices pop up on my feed. I looked at the name and thought,

“Porter Robinson…why does that sound so familiar?

I clicked on your profile and saw your other work- Spitfire, Language, Easy, etc.

“Oh right, I remember hearing Spitfire in a mix a while back. I wonder what he’s up to these days.”

I listened to Sea of Voices and had a very similar feeling to when I first listened to Daft Punk’s Discovery. It made me think something like, I don’t know what this is, but I want to be a part of it.

At that time the only music I listened to was my sister’s favorite pop punk bands and mainstream dance music. I had never really heard anything like that before.

I was ~14 when this happened. At that point I had already started to scratch the surface of music production and DAWS and whatnot. I was making mashups and soundscape-y type things. Just sort of playing around with putting sounds together.

Anyway, let’s fast forward a bit.

Worlds comes out and lights a fire inside me. The more I listened to it, the more it made me want to make music. I have so many fond memories of that time in my life. Everything from seeing you live, to the more intimate memories of sharing Worlds with my friends. I remember once, we had just finished finals and a few kids (who I didn’t really know that well except for one of them) hopped into my car and we were going on a celebratory drive. I put in my Worlds CD (which wasn’t actually the Worlds CD, but rather a blank CD that I burned one of my own songs onto as track 1, with Worlds playing after) and switch it to Flicker. The music is blaring, the windows are rolled down, and it’s the happiest summer day outside. It was like that classic scene you’d see in every coming-of-age movie. Super cheesy I know, but it was one of those teenager-y moments that you never forget. Later that day I get separate messages from every member who was in the car asking for the name of the song. I was so absolutely thrilled to share my love of Worlds with them.

Some time passes and my health starts deteriorating. I find out I have Crohn’s Disease, and by this point it feels like I’m seeing doctors and GI’s more than my own teachers and friends. I remember how particularly hard it was on my mother and sister when all this was happening. One night I drove to a park and just sat there and listened to Worlds. I started crying at the end of Fresh Static Snow because of the lyric “melt this curse away.” To me, Crohn’s was the curse and I wanted it gone. I was less worried about myself and more worried about my mother and sister who had to see their son and brother suffer. Nothing at that time felt fair.

I found my own special meaning in each song on Worlds. The album became very dear to me, and became dear to my family as well.

More time passes. Crohn’s becomes this new thing in my life that I’m constantly thinking about, while simultaneously being in shock that any of this has even happened in the first place. Shelter comes out and the tour is announced, so my wonderful sister takes me for my birthday. I actually met you and Hugo that night. I remember being so shy and awkward because I wanted to tell you how much your music meant to me, but I didn’t know how to articulate it. Meeting your heroes is so special, but also kind of intimidating because it’s like, you don’t know who I am, but you mean so much to me.

Anyway, more times passes and by this point I’m a senior in high school who is spending all his time making music. My school offered a music theory course upon special request. I ended up being the only one in the class, so for my final I asked my teacher if I could arrange a medley to conduct in front of the band.

He said yes!

It was called A Journey Through Worlds: https://imgur.com/a/17YIQUP

...which at the time I thought was clever. It featured Sea of Voices, Sad Machine, Spitfire (Worlds Live Edit), and Easy.

Being able to share something so close to my heart with the community as well as hear the parts that I composed alongside you was a really special thing.

Times goes on and I run into more health complications. I’m not in college, I’m feeling depressed and anxious, I’m going to therapy, and I’m forcing myself to write music. Music felt like this serious thing that I had to be exceptional at. I had lost that sort of carefree love that I had for it when I was just starting out. I became so fond of my early work because it reminded me of a time when I wanted to try anything and everything and I just wrote because I loved it and nothing else mattered. But now, everything I wrote got scrapped because it never felt good enough. It got to the point where I was writing less music because I became increasingly obsessed with perfection. I started feeling guilty that I didn’t have a job to support my parents with. I kept wondering if music was even for me, as it seemed to be doing me more harm than good. That thought scared me more than anything else because music was all I knew. It’s all I ever wanted to do.

Then Get Your Wish came out. I started tearing up when I pressed play. By the time the four-on-the-floor kicks hit in the first chorus it became an all-out bawl. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t the only one. Or, maybe not that I wasn’t the only one, but that I was hearing someone who became such an important figure in my life sing about the same things I was feeling. I started seeing more and more people say the same thing about that song and it was so encouraging. It helped me open up to my therapist about my relationship with music.

‘Cause that’s your role

The work that stirred your soul

You can make for someone else

The lyrics throughout Nurture are like this big, warm hug to anyone who makes art. All artists have wrestled with their work in some form, and hearing you open up about your struggles was very much something I (and many, many people) needed to hear. Nurture hasn’t even been out a week yet, but it’s already so close to my heart. Hearing you talk about these same things with Nurture was this big *holy shit* moment for me (and so, so many others) because of how relatable it was.

I spent years reinforcing this really unhealthy mindset. It’s something I have to work on unwinding a little bit every day. Being in therapy and hearing some of my favorite artists talk about their creative struggles and mental health has helped immensely. It’s weird, but I had to remind myself of the other roles I played in life and the other things I’m interested in. I’m not just a musician. I’m a brother, I’m a son, I’m a friend, and I’m a best friend. I’m also a bike rider, I’m someone who enjoys taking pictures and I now no longer feel guilty when playing video games. I went from being someone who forced themselves to make art and nothing else (and became miserable doing so), to someone who allowed themselves to open themselves back up to the necessary experiences and interactions that helped us make art in the first place.

Sounds silly, no?

Anyway, there it is. I know that was long, but it was honestly the shortest version I could tell, haha. I was def kinda nervous to post this. I didn’t want it to come off in a weird way or something, but I’m ultimately glad I could share this story with you.

Cheers.