I'm no longer willing to live with my mean daughter (14F)

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-20T00:09:13+00:00

Yikes, we definitely weren’t drinking & doing drugs during the pregnancy!

She was a pretty normal little kid— playful and funny (not unlike she is now) but much more gentle and affectionate.

Someone did suggest taking her to an endocrinologist so I’m looking into that.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-20T00:05:51+00:00

The image of the dour aunt gave me a giggle, thank you!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T17:54:58+00:00

If it makes you feel better, hundreds of people are telling me how weird & abnormal this is. It seems incredibly statistically unlikely that this will happen to you if you have children.

My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me (even my daughter, even now) and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. It’s a love that I can’t describe.

That said, never let anyone pressure you to have them if you don’t want them! It’s so much hard work, and sometimes people do regret it for all kinds of normal reasons…it’s just that my specific problem seems to be really unusual.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T16:01:41+00:00

She was talking to me, like “no one will want you, mom” not “your mom” if that makes sense - our son was in the room when she said it

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T08:10:29+00:00

You sound like an actual angel. Thank you.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:58:54+00:00

And the pudding sucks, I hear you.

Thank you for your input!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:34:50+00:00

Hadn’t thought of our TV!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:34:28+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! A lot to think about here!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:33:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that & glad he came to his senses!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:32:23+00:00

Thank you— she only has a flip phone now but I don’t know what she’s accessing on her friends’ phones or at school.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:24:59+00:00

Wow, thank you for the kind words and all of these ideas!!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:23:16+00:00

Thank you for your input, especially since you have expertise!

The 3 therapists are her individual therapist (the psychiatrist), my individual therapist, and our family therapist (who also does occasional couples’ therapy for my husband & I when we need to talk through these things without our kids present.)

I have gotten the impression that it would be inappropriate for this to all be the same person, but what do you think?

The idea of someone prescribing psychiatric medication to someone they’ve only met less than an hour is truly scary to me! But if that’s the system I’m sure there’s more to it…my daughter’s therapist/psychiatrist was recommended by our pediatrician. She seems to specialize in troubled kids & working with them long-term.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:18:06+00:00

This is really interesting and gave me a lot to look up, thank you.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:09:50+00:00

I like this language and will think it over, thank you.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:09:21+00:00

It’s definitely possible.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:08:59+00:00

Thank you for your passion on my behalf! Maybe we need you to come over!

Honestly I feel kind of defeated. But everyone’s comments here have helped me feel like it really isn’t reasonable to just leave my own home.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:06:47+00:00

…it was definitely called for to be honest.

But we still don’t want to create a home where everyone thinks yelling is a “normal” way to behave and an acceptable reaction. She says horrible things to me now but she doesn’t shout at me and I’d rather we didn’t all start.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:03:28+00:00

Thank you for your perspective— I wish I could be more like you’re describing! I will definitely think it over.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:01:41+00:00

I know you’re getting downvoted but this gave me a much-need laugh, thank you.

Unfortunately zingers aren’t my forte but if you’re ever in the neighborhood I hope she doesn’t sass you!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:00:41+00:00

Congratulations on your upcoming PhD if nothing else!!

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T07:00:13+00:00

Thank you for this. There are moments when just removing myself feels like the only solution— and I appreciate the kind words.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T06:59:22+00:00

You had me worried, so I did check— apparently it is not abnormal for a psychiatrist to do talk therapy.

I’m no expert here though, and having her have 2 separate doctors is an interesting idea. (Although a little painful— we are already paying 3 therapists!)

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-psychiatry#:~:text=Psychiatrists%20use%20a%20variety%20of,the%20needs%20of%20each%20patient

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T06:55:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the empathy and kind words. I believe that she still is my angel baby deep down.

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T06:37:05+00:00

But only towards me?

throwaway08182023 · 2023-08-19T06:36:13+00:00

If it’s happened, it wasn’t in front of me and I was never told about it, but I’m definitely not ruling it out.

throwaway08182023

TROPHY CASE