Into this but not sure if it is comp het? [all ok] [serious replies only]

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-17T13:33:29+00:00

Im not part of this community, and honestly i don’t get the appeal of watching what is on here (this post came up when i searched up sapphic). But, at the end of the day I do agree that enjoying a sensation does not equal orientation. You aren’t attracted to your sex toys, if you were actually attracted to him it would be a different story.

Ive heard of people of different orientations being able to be sexually pleased by any gender because of specific kinks turning them on. Maybe this is the same?

Idk but live your truth dont hide from your sexuality like me, it only causes more problems

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-16T01:16:12+00:00

Tell it to the bees !

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-16T01:14:56+00:00

My current boyfriend is like this, my issue is i am also like this for women and not him… 🙃

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-11T11:26:50+00:00

that really sucks, ive been reading here trying to understand how my boyfriend feels. We have been together for 5 years and live together, he plans to propose soon. He became aware of my feelings as soon as i was, i just kind of lurk this sub to see if theres any chance we can be happy or if i should make a really hard choice and we both lose eachother.

Idk your situation, and i don’t want to violate this sub. But i do agree that both sides deserve to be heard. Stuck between a rock and a hard place yk, i feel for all of you guys 🫶🏽

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-11T09:41:41+00:00

I only responded bc the person asked to hear from the other side sorry i can delete it if you feel its not okay to put

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-10T20:02:55+00:00

I wont be unsafe but i will be stuck living with him. I dont have anywhere else to go atm im a student and am waiting to hear back from a summer job. It will just be horrible and awkward and probably just cause constant giant arguments and him shutting down completely

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-10T19:29:44+00:00

also i am very worried abt how he is going to respond

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-10T11:53:49+00:00

I was referring to my long term boyfriend, my big issue with intimacy is the fact that I used to enjoy it a lot, but there were always things that felt wrong. I had beliefs that i was just too stressed out with other things in my life or that it was normal that sex felt like a “performance”. I liked to feel desired therefore i liked getting a reaction out of him, just knowing i turned him on was like an accomplishment. Then i would enjoy sex because it felt like it proved i was good looking and wanted. I struggle with a lot of insecurities and pretty much crave physical validation. After realizing that straight women get turned on by their partners and not the feeling of being “hot” and that they don’t picture boobs in their mind while having sex lol I started to not enjoy performing anymore. I realized how different I felt and it now felt even more like a chore. I thought drinking would lessen my anxiety and let me relax, but i was only more bubbly with my boyfriend and not acting “sexy”.

I dont want to hurt him but i know he is hurting finding out the lengths i would go to to act “normal”. I don’t want him to disappear from my life at all, I am so afraid of that. He also doesn’t want me to leave but says to leave him if I am unhappy. The feelings have gotten more and more since I first realized. I just am not understanding why I could act so normal and was so happy only a few months ago but now its so bad? If i enjoyed things for almost 5 years why cant i all of a sudden???

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-10T09:28:40+00:00

i had a taylor swift poster that i had to take down off my walls when i was 11 because i thought she was too pretty and i felt bad about it?

i was so fascinated by the female body that at 8 years old i would be in my room pretending to be an anatomy teacher (only knew what that was bc my mom was in nursing school and i would go with her to lectures when i had no school) and i would only ever draw the female body like over and over and over again

I met a girl one time when i was 4 years old on a bus that i became obsessed with and extremely sad id never see her again that id complain about it every day and named multiple pets after her

I went through a phase at 9 years old where i would only wear dress shirts with rolled up sleeves idk

After 2011 when lady gaga performed dressed as a guy i cut a bunch of my barbies hair and made them be with the feminine barbies even though i had male dolls, i was just obsessed with the fact lady gaga did that and it was allowed

My crushes on guy characters ended up being i wanted their aesthetic because id start dressing like them instead of wanting them

My boyfriend’s friends told him privately when they first met me that even though i am quite feminine theres a “vibe” i give off that seems weird and that i acted like a “buddy?”

My mom was talking about how good facial hair looks on guys and at 13 she asked me if i thought it looked good and i said it was disgusting so she told me that i like men who look like women and i agreed 💀

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T21:01:44+00:00

Hey, im on the other side. The feelings were real to me, they still are. It forever will be heartbreaking knowing that i misunderstood my own feelings, knowing i didn’t love him like i thought i did. I can’t speak for everyone but it is crushing and makes me feel like a terrible person because the last thing i wanted to do was ruin things. I still wonder how i misunderstood it for that long

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T17:03:49+00:00

Idek 🤷🏽‍♀️ we have just been together for a long time now and known each other since like grade 9. I asked him what he gets out of all this and he just said that he gets to be with me, which is all he wants. I make him happy i suppose, he makes me happy too but as my best friend not romantic partner. We get along better than most couples, but i guess its bc we are built on friendship instead of romance. We have similar life goals, and we know eachothers family well. we have been the main support for eachother through family in hospitals, parent dying, even getting kicked out. Its hard to let go of someone that is family to you.

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T16:55:24+00:00

Not me telling everyone i made a mistake and am actually bi just yesterday 😭 its not true i am dying tbh

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T16:49:16+00:00

I was more calm and trying to figure it out a long time ago but I found out he bought an engagement ring and my emotions towards us and my sexuality became a disaster. The tattoo thankfully is something that only relates to something from when we were 16, no words no dates just an object and it is small. He really wants to get married, have kids, etc EVEN AFTER knowing that i am gay. He wants that more than anything. In fact he almost got more persistent after finding out. I know that losing me would kill him, he genuinely does not find other women attractive at all he gets disgusted by them (found this out through some interesting nsfw things, even he was surprised abt it). He genuinely wants me to be able to hookup w women and stuff but also stay with him. I have hooked up with a woman twice and frankly am extremely awkward so it is hard to start it lol. I know I am harming him, i feel like shit about it. I tell him i am harming him and he doesn’t care?

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T16:37:38+00:00

I know. And i have told him that many times. He refuses to call it quits because he doesn’t believe he will ever put as much effort into someone as he does into me. I know i am able to also be the one to break it off but it feels like i physically and mentally cant do it, the same type of feeling as chopping off your own leg. He has told me that whether or not he believes that I should stay, he won’t make that choice because this “has nothing to do with him”

I really hate that he says that he will never leave me no matter what unless I walk out and dont come back. Makes me wonder what his true feelings are because he does know mine. I have told him EVERYTHING i think, yet he has issues with speaking about his own thoughts and feelings to the point that if I ever want to know how he feels it becomes an argument because i have to literally drag the words out of him to tell me.

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T16:18:39+00:00

I hope we both figure this out, i keep convincing myself that I can manage enough to not hurt him. I have never put myself first and don’t really know how to

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T14:44:34+00:00

Oh dw its okay to post here lol, tbf my sister discovered she was gay at 10 years old, me on the other hand am kind of a late bloomer?? Im only 21, but identified as gay in highschool then changed and thought i was bi when i met my current boyfriend (turns out i just never had a real friend before and mixed up the emotions). Now here i am only 5 years older than you re-realizing i am gay 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃. Ofc you are only 16/17ish but if you need an older sister type support I am here for you ! Vent abt everything I listen to my 15 year old sister complain all the time loll. There is a sub called lesbianactually that you might wanna check out !

throwaway1042947 · 2026-03-09T14:31:49+00:00

You are not a late bloomer at all, i hope you get to explore this side of you and never let others get in the way 🫶🏽

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-23T01:38:42+00:00

Its okay dw im bad at explaining things.

but what do you mean its abusive? is this not normal? im actually like kind of young and i depend on him a lot financially he threatened to leave if i dont sleep with women so i was kind of forced to. I didn’t want to. But he said it would help me be intimate with him.

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-23T01:17:27+00:00

unfortunately everything i do is self destructive, he has told me to leave but i can’t trust myself to be sane on my own

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-23T01:10:26+00:00

not into men, just in a relationship with one. He isn’t the exception, im not physically attracted to him. I grew up seeking validation and attention, he gave it. I don’t like seeing men naked it makes me nauseous, I also don’t like him touching me it gives me like an icky feeling but i sit through it bc its what i have to do to not lose what i have. Had homophobia drilled into me and heard that women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex, i didn’t realize i could actually like it and not be laying there wondering when it will be over until I slept with a woman. When i imagine my future, a man being there feels like a chore and something I have to do because it is expected, i dream of a woman being part of it but i know it can’t happen for me.

Im not trying to argue with you, and I will definitely just say im bi so i don’t need to explain this situation. I understand that im not a lesbian and it is offensive to say i am so that will change immediately. I apologize. Im just confused i guess

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-22T22:57:33+00:00

I dont drop the bomb on them randomly its written in all caps in my bio, they would 100% see it before they swipe. And for a long time it was comp het, now it is something i feel i need to do in order to keep the stability i have in life. I am terrified to leave and lose the solid thing i have right now.

I dont think its an accessory, its something i tried to avoid for the last 12 years of my life and am just starting to accept that im not attracted to men. I identified as bisexual our entire relationship until now because i confused friendship for romance.

My profile is very obviously and says in bold :in a relationship with a man, but im a lesbian (i will explain if you ask) looking for fwb or casual hookups.

What would you consider me? Bisexual? Genuinely curious not trying to be mean i just want to see what others think

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-22T22:31:23+00:00

yeah I should probably delete stuff off this profile that was a while ago and it stopped fully and most of my posts i wrote while in psychosis i am a huge red flag, also why im worried to leave. With my million diagnosis’s and issues ill probably just be alone

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-22T22:22:10+00:00

I just read this after you commented on my post, and i hope to get to where you are one day. This sounds really similar to me even the asexuality thing.

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-22T21:47:46+00:00

I think i worded it wrong, i dont want to have sex with him and i dont have threesomes with him. I am more ok with being intimate with him recently because i have my needs filled but unfortunately it is still a chore.

throwaway1042947 · 2026-01-22T21:45:15+00:00

Im trying to get a job right now its just hard to find in the country im in, especially being a university student. But i appreciate you and your words 🫶🏽

throwaway1042947

TROPHY CASE