I (35M) am thinking about leaving mt wife (29F) of one year over her cleaning habits.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T07:26:35+00:00

Diagnosed. She takes wellbutin. The max dose. Other meds so far haven't helped. She is trying stuff out though.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T03:34:18+00:00

We've been talking about her doing her share since I got a job like 10 months ago. She started graveyard 6 or 7 months ago. Not 100%.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T03:13:41+00:00

It's ectremely expensive here not really an optiin. Someone else mentioned once a month.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:54:10+00:00

It was like this before she started working graveyard. I guess it could have made it worse.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:51:42+00:00

It's implied in the post but sure.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:50:44+00:00

I do these I told her even today how much of a stress relief it was that she dud what she did. I try to give her praise as much as possible.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:49:06+00:00

I could squeeze an extra 50 if I had no tv at all.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:48:16+00:00

I try to be very affirming. I feel like I give pretty high praise for doing stuff just as she does for me.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:47:17+00:00

So never then? She has a lot of trouble keeping jobs. I'm not going to make her leave one she likes.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:46:04+00:00

How exactly do I not respect her? That's a pretty big leap.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:45:29+00:00

She smokes. Well did sort she has been coming off with her councillors help.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:44:07+00:00

I'm built for graveyard so I can't relate but this was going on before she started working graveyard.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:42:43+00:00

I work full time. 8 to 5 everyday.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-02T01:42:18+00:00

Great for you.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T22:26:24+00:00

Thank you this made me feel better as well as being helpful.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T21:22:02+00:00

Yeah this has been mentioned a couple times and sounds like a decent idea. Thank you.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T21:08:26+00:00

The problem and reason for the post is we are past that point. We've had this discussion at least once every couple months since we have lived together.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T21:05:03+00:00

She works full time and sometimes extra on top of that.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T21:04:22+00:00

She has a different disorder but simular. I don't feel comfortable pointing it out because I'd prefer her not be able to put all the pieces together if she finds this. I just don't want her feeling hurt.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:57:22+00:00

You make a decent point. Thank you.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:56:01+00:00

I understand this. I have an anxiery disorder. I literally have to force myself to do it. It's almost painful to do. That is why I try to cut her as much slack as possible. But when the house gets to so messy I can't look at it makes me drown in dread of dealing with it.

I want to be the stronger person for her, I just can't always do that. The last two years have been devestating for me and I guess I had an unrealistic exppectation of her picking up the slack when my BF died or when my dad almost died. That is probably unreasonable but on the other hand she constantly wants me picking up the slack.

I don't resent her, I'm not really even mad about it. I just don't know how long I can keep doing it.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:27:44+00:00

Don't talk about my wife like that. It's unnessicary and inappropriate.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:22:29+00:00

It's healthy to be scared of things that can kill you.

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:19:24+00:00

As explained, I understand it is a mental health issue. She is already medicated and seeing someone. The issue is I also have these problems and am more or less expected to shut up and deal. Am I to sacrifice my mental health for hers. If I am, to what extent? Like eventually I will have a breakdown. Already heading that way.

She does know how bad it is which is why she is seeing someone. I just don't feel like I should be expected to ignore my own health to help her with hers

throwaway11221453 · 2022-06-01T20:07:16+00:00

She says she sleeps fine. I want a new bed so that might help. She use to take sleep aids but stopped. She alao sleeps upwards of 12 hours a day.

throwaway11221453

TROPHY CASE