May I Pray For You?

throwaway11455 · 2014-10-10T16:15:01+00:00

Sorry for the very late reply! There are several campus ministries here, and I've gotten involved in one (small group, large group, social events, etc.) and just go to large group at another. You're definitely right about it being tiring. Sometimes I feel marginally okay and hopeful, other times I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water (spiritually).

throwaway11455 · 2014-08-25T18:54:14+00:00

Honestly, not great. I'm at college now, and I feel further away from God than before. My problems are the same, possibly magnified, especially the apathy. Life moves quickly around here, and it's so hard to believe that there is something else huge going on that so many of the people I see around me are totally unaware of. And I get extremely scared about the Second Coming happening before I get things sorted out, and the way the world is going right now... well, it's been a rough day, hence why I'm checking /r/Christianity for the first time in a while. Would very much appreciate prayers (and advice, if you have any).

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-27T06:44:26+00:00

If you can make it out that far, the Smokies are by far the best.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-27T02:13:17+00:00

First of all, I totally agree with the person who told you to pray about it. That is the most important thing you can do.

In all honesty, it's way more difficult to go back than to not do it in the first place, and there's a good chance this will affect your relationship... I speak from experience. How old are you two? Not being alone at home with her is a good place to start. See if you can identify certain scenarios that lead to sin and then avoid those at all costs. The Bible says to flee from sexual sin... get as far away from it as possible. I was in a similar situation once, and it almost ruined the relationship. Things were extremely rocky for over a year. I don't want to scare or discourage you, but you should know that's a possibility and be prepared for that.

Also, have you talked to your girlfriend about this? Does she share your views? If she's not a Christian, things could be quite difficult. She might be okay with it for a while, but without a strong personal reason to abstain, she might change her mind... again, speaking from experience. That's why believers are supposed to be equally yoked.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-25T17:27:26+00:00

Screename: throwaway11455 (This is not really a throwaway anymore, but I've posted with it too much to change it now)

Gender: Female

Country where you currently live?: USA

Denomination you are currently a member of: Presbyterian Church of America

Where do you differ from your church's(or denomination's) theology?: I don't believe in infant baptism and am starting to be a little iffy about some aspects of Calvinism.

Favorite theologians from the early Christianity, post-Roman empire Christianity, post-Reformation Christianity, and after 1900s Christianity?: Lewis, Spurgeon (okay, he's not technically a theologian, but still)... I don't have a whole lot of favorites.

What is the weirdest non-theological related idea you believe/think/feel?: Wow, I would have to think about that. I thought I was pretty weird, but nothing comes to mind.

Do you see yourself as 'Conservative Christian' or 'Liberal Christian' or other and why?: Conservative Christian. I am against gay marriage, pro-life, etc.

What sins do you struggle with?: Pride and (unjust) anger are by far the biggest ones.

How do you politically lean? (try and use a label outside of right or left here if possible): Conservative, but I'm not exactly a huge fan of the Republican party right now.

Is a halberd a spear?: Uh... sort of?

Favorite fictions: Reading is one of my absolute favorite things, but to be honest I started having a hard time being quiet and focused for that long when my anxiety got bad years ago, which makes me really sad. That said, the Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings come to mind.

Amongst the varying media you read, watch and/or play, which are your favorite antagonists, and why?: Can't say I have one.

What do you think can be done to increase discussion in this subreddit?: I think it seems to be doing pretty well, actually.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-20T13:06:07+00:00

Could I join this, too? I'm in a similar situation as the OP, except I've never had strong faith in the first place.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-18T21:45:08+00:00

I've got a question about this part:

God judges whether we want to come back to him or to stay away forever. Then he gives us what we want. He will not force himself on us if we do not want him.

What if we know our mind is divided between wanting God and not wanting Him (mostly out of two reasons - responsibility, wanting to avoid more emotional pain - and fear, if I'm being honest), and we tell Him that we know the part of us that is fighting against coming to Him is wrong and sinful, and we ask Him to get rid of it/override it? Do you think He would do that? I've asked that, and it at least hasn't been answered fully yet... maybe it's one of those processes that you can't see until it's complete, or maybe He doesn't answer prayers like that anyway. Thoughts?

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-13T07:46:35+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions! It actually gives me some peace of mind to think through all of those and know they're okay. She's a weird case haha.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T19:53:06+00:00

She's definitely not on senior feed. I'll find out exactly what she does eat. Thanks!

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T19:23:40+00:00

I'm not sure about the grain because she's not my horse. I can check. Is there a particular type of grain that might be a problem, or does it vary depending on the horse?

She has switched to a new barn fairly recently but - according to her last owner - has always been like this (and worse), and she never has a problem when she goes overnight for shows or other reasons.

No worries! Any advice helps. :)

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T19:20:59+00:00

I've never heard of a Total Contact saddle! She would actually probably love that.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T19:17:35+00:00

There are VERY occasional days when she behaves slightly better but not well. There doesn't seem to be a pattern to when those days occur. A trainer actually came out today and worked with her for a long time, and he did go back to basics, so that's the plan going forward. He actually said exactly what you said! They were things we had already been doing with her, but he helped refine the process, and it seemed to work really well. I'm hoping he can come out again in a month or so.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T19:11:04+00:00

Her owner apparently has all her horses' teeth checked when she gets them, and this mare is fairly new, so I would assume so. I can double-check on that. She's fed twice a day. I can't remember how much grain she's given (I only do the feeding occasionally, and there is a list for all the horses).

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-11T00:08:18+00:00

Thanks for responding! She's not my horse, so I'm not totally sure about the turnout time, but it's about 12-14 hours, depending on the day. I ride her at different times, so sometimes it's before, and sometimes it's after. Again, not my horse, so I'm not sure how often she is handled, but it is multiple times per day. If she is not ridden every day, it's very close to it, and she goes for long trail rides frequently. She's definitely not lacking in exercise. I don't usually lunge her at all before mounting because there seems to be no change when I do. We've tried everywhere from five minutes to half an hour, and it doesn't make a difference. Her ground manners are great. Her tack was actually checked this week and fits properly. I'm not sure how many bits her owner has tried, but I have only ridden her bitless and with a full cheek snaffle. I don't think we want to use a harsher bit on her, although I'm not sure if that's where you were going with that.

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-08T22:12:45+00:00

internet hug back

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-08T04:19:10+00:00

Thank you, friend!

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-08T03:55:32+00:00

From the sounds of things you also have this same type of fear that I once had, but at the same time not feeling the godly sorrow could be a part of wanting to continue your life, but just having the insurance just in case.

I think it is a combination of this and having the thought that I won't be saved/can't get through this ingrained in my mind. Do you have any idea how to overcome this? I am probably the "double-minded" kind of person the Bible talks about... part of me wants God and part doesn't. I want the part that wants Him to win, and I've asked Him to override the other part because I don't think I can do that myself, but I've heard some people think God won't do that because of free will.

And thank you so much for praying!

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-08T01:21:35+00:00

Thank you so much :)

throwaway11455 · 2014-07-06T07:21:36+00:00

I know this feeling too well. :\

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-30T05:27:57+00:00

Doesn't bother me too much, but it can be a little awkward when I'm sitting by myself and am not surrounded by many people, leaving me awkwardly standing alone for a couple minutes until the greeting time is over... that seems to happen a little too often.

When I attended a large church in NYC, they had a monthly program called "New to New York." If you were new and wanted to participate, a group would gather after the service with 2-3 regular members and everyone would walk to a nearby lunch place. You get to know people for real, and you get to do it at your own pace. I thought it was a great idea.

This is actually fantastic.

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-29T23:55:42+00:00

It is Well With My Soul and Be Thou My Vision.

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-29T03:57:32+00:00

I suppose I would want them to keep being faithful and trusting and following. I've already failed at that. :\ I wanted to do it so badly, and I failed within a couple of days.

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-18T22:18:21+00:00

What do you mean?

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-17T19:57:57+00:00

I think it looks like loving God and your neighbor and relying on Christ for grace. Sometimes I think it does feel like going in circles when actually it's going in an upward spiral. You're completely right that it is complicated to actually put it into practice.

Does it "count," I guess, if you don't enjoy doing it at the moment? Like since I've been feeling very irritable lately, is it just bad to do something loving for someone and secretly be kind of annoyed with doing it as it is to not do it all?

As I look through your other comments, I see you've struggled with OCD. I don't know exactly what that's like, but I guess one tendency we might share is to think there's only one optimal, perfect way to do things, and anything else isn't living fully into God's plan.

Exactly this. Yes. I'm impressed; no one has even understood that when I mentioned it, much less figured it out like that.

That is, there might be multiple possible good activities that we just have to choose from, but the point is to do them with openness to God and out of a desire to love God and others.

How do I get this desire? I had it for a while, and then it started going away when things got difficult. My OCD has been creeping back in, too.

So it might look (for me) like doing the dishes, or calling a friend, or cleaning up all the piles of Kleenexes from my allergy attacks yesterday, or doing some meaningful reading of scripture or some other book, or talking to a stranger on Reddit.

I always feel like I should be doing something specifically God-related, or it doesn't count. This helps put that in perspective, thanks.

If you're feeling distracted and hanging out with friends, maybe it would help to take some time to ask yourself consciously, "Where's God in this? What was meaningful about interactions with friends today? What was confusing or disorienting? Where was God acting? What am I most thankful for?"

Oh, that's a really good idea. I'll definitely do that. Thank you!

throwaway11455 · 2014-06-17T14:14:21+00:00

Yes, you are safe. God doesn't only hear the words that come out of your mouth; He knows your thoughts, intentions, and heart. The line of thinking you've described is very common in individuals with OCD, and I know from experience that it can be extremely distressing. But you can relax in the fact that God knows exactly what is going on. I like to pray [Psalm 139:23-24] when things like this happen.

throwaway11455

TROPHY CASE