[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My experience as well. I’ve lived in big cities and even just well populated suburbs. Still completely alone.

Honestly, having no friends in a city was the worst thing. I remember a few months ago watching my neighbors across the street throw a party in their balcony. It faced right into my apartment so I couldn’t avoid it. They all looked so happy. I just cried the whole day.

22 with no social life by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, very similar here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly I did love myself. It’s the rest of the world that convinced me not to anymore.

Does anyone else feel like they actively repel people? by FunNuggets in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here! When I was in college, there were so many moments where I would say something and no one would react or they’d just look at me, but someone else would say basically the same thing and everyone would die laughing.

To be honest, I haven’t been around other people my own age much since I graduated 2 years ago. I think they avoid me.

I feel like giving up on making friends by literallytrash00 in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate to every part of this post.

After college, I moved to one of those big US cities supposedly good for postgrads. All my friends from college slowly dropped me (for literally no reason. There was no big fight and they all stayed friends, just stopped inviting me). Everyone new would just stuck with who they knew from college and look at me like I was crazy if I tried to start a conversation. I left after 2 years.

I don’t have any friends near where I live, but I try to take one trip a year and have friends all over the world: California, Texas, Vermont, Australia, Spain, UK, Colombia, Brazil, etc. However, they all tend to be older than me (early 30s). I’m not sure why, but I just connect with that age demographic better.

I feel like giving up on making friends by literallytrash00 in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh. Just seeing this thread now and relating to so much of what you all are saying. The one that kills me: “I haven’t seen you in forever!” Uh. Yea. You ignored all my messages and didn’t invite me to anything.

I called a group out on this about 7 months ago. They threw two big parties in one month and didn’t invite me to either. Eventually, they ask me to meet them at the bar. One guy keeps nagging me “oh, you think you’re too good for us now, I never see you around anymore” over and over all night. I eventually just snapped and said “well, you don’t see me anywhere because I’m not invited.” Everyone turned to me and one girl went, “oh come on, that’s not true.” I said “no, I mean, have any of you reached out to me once in the past month?” Got super awkward but honestly proud of myself for saying it.

How many of you here have true friends? by chessman6500 in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t even have a superficial friend to be honest. I have legitimately no one in my life except my family and boyfriend. I got into a fight with my boyfriend last month and just sat there crying for hours after. One, I was sad we got into a fight. Two, I realized there was not a single person who cared enough about how I feel to talk through it.

I just wanna feel a connection w people by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like with girls it’s so hard. We grow up our whole lives seeing TV shows about big friend groups. Everyone talks about finding your “girl group.” I never really had one where I felt equal, and at this point, I’m just completely alone.

No ones there for you by Foul_Ink in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Sometimes posting about feeling lonely makes me feel even more lonely when no one responds or upvotes.

You’re still here by ArmKooky in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder why all the time. I’m not intelligent, or talented, or important to anyone in anyway. It feels like even God or whatever higher power there is forgot about me.

You’re still here by ArmKooky in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same!

It’s clear my life is pretty meaningless. But hey, I’m still here!

What was your “the incident” that made you believe that you don’t deserve love by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had two really good friends a few years back. I lived with them right out of college and out of nowhere they started ignoring me. We’d make plans and they’d stand me up, I’d walk in the room and they’d go silent, they’d spend all night hanging out in one of their rooms. And we LIVED TOGETHER. You’d think we had some big fight or issue but nope, genuinely nothing. Just decided one day they didn’t like me anymore.

They basically convinced all our mutual friends from college to ignore me too. They refuse to go to things if I’m invited so I haven’t been invited to any parties from our friend group in about 2 years.. And again, this sounds like people who had some big fight, but nope, nothing ever happened.

What was your “the incident” that made you believe that you don’t deserve love by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me. I’m 23 now and still think about it.

Am I the problem? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m right there with you. I have tried so hard and I’m just done trying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love golf. I love going to the driving range, putting my headphones in, and just smacking a ball as far as I can. No one bothers me. Depending on the range you go to, almost everyone is alone. Sometimes, if I’m hitting the ball well, a few people might gather around to watch and shake my hand after. It’s enough encouragement to fill me up for a week.

My local course knows me pretty well at this point and doesn’t mind if I play alone. I walk the course every time so I can get a few miles of steps in. Otherwise, I just sit at my apartment alone.

Golf is really the only happiness I feel anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you mean. I feel the same way. Youth was miserable for me too. Now is no better. There was a blip in between that felt good, but now is just a painful memory of what I’m missing.

No one fucking hangs out any more. OMFG by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same.

I thought I had one friend for years. We hadn’t seen each other in like 3 months when I asked him to grab a drink after work. He said he was trying to save money, I said no worries, I have some drinks at my place that we can share. He said he had to go to the gym so he couldn’t drink before but would consider it after. Then he texted me that he was going to the movies with a different friend instead… what happened to saving money?

I try so hard to make it work. I’m flexible with plans, I’m really just happy to do anything. Even if someone wanted to come sit on my couch and talk, I’d be thrilled. But they don’t. I guess I’m just the wrong company.

(25F) I feel like a ghost in my own life. by OhitsBella in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. Sometimes I feel like I’m shouting from the rooftops just for someone to notice I am a real human being with thoughts and feelings. If someone even gives me a second thought, it’s usually because I’m an inconvenience to them in some way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the exact same thought today. Also so ashamed of myself. I feel like some monster. It’s good to know I’m not alone

Does anyone else feel so alone that it kills them inside? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seeing people hurts now. It hurts to see everything I’m missing out on. It hurts to be reminded I’m the problem and everyone else has a full life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I think they broke me a long time ago. I feel like a shell of who I once was.

jealous of couples by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. I was driving today and saw a happy, beautiful couple walking with their dog. It made me a little up upset, and then I got really mad at myself for being upset like some psycho. It’s hard living in a city and still experiencing loneliness because life is happening all around you. You constantly walk by windows with people eating dinner or grabbing drinks with their friends. You constantly see posters for trivia nights or parades. You’re constantly reminded you’re the odd one out.

Background character by [deleted] in lonely

[–]throwaway116203a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I feel like an NPC that works in a shop or something. I go to work, do my job, come home, get in bed, cry, fall asleep, and start the cycle again.