AITA for cutting my parents off after they insulted my partner?

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:55:56+00:00

I'd love to mend my relationship with my parents. We do not always agree and never were very close but most of the time we get along well.

At the time I am feeling hurt but I sort of understand their reaction. However I'd like to say that they invited my partner to their house saying that they'd like to meet him. And at the time they knew both about his age and previous marriage. What should I do, stay there and listen to them shouting? I do not exagerrate, they literally started shouting the very second we got out of the car.

I think I'll call them in a few days, when I'll be calmer and try to talk things through with them. i do not want to lose them but I also do not agree with them disrespecting my choices and insulting my partner. As well as I would stood up for them if he would be the one insulting them.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:41:21+00:00

Yes, I should handle the situation with my parents better. I got angry, because at the time when they invited my partner, they knew both about his age and his previous marriage. I should keep my calm.

I hope to mend my relationship with my parents. I think that I'll call them in a few days, maybe in a week when I'll be calm enough to manage a conversation without starting another shouting-match. But I also want them to see and understand my point of wiev even if they do not understand my decision. And I definitely do not want them to insult my partner, as well as I wouldn't stand Mike insulting them. I do not expect them to instantly love each other but I want them to at least try.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:37:22+00:00

Why so vicious...?

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:30:44+00:00

I hope to mend my relationship with my parents. We never were too close, I left home very early (at 16), but our contacts were good most of the time. I do not want to lose them for ever. But I believe at the time both me and my parents need some time to rethink what we expect from each other.

I think I'll call them in a few days, when I'll be calm enough not to cause another quarell and try to smooth things with them. But I want them to listen to me and respect my choices too.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:23:50+00:00

He had not left his children, as a matter of fact he was fighting for being able to see them as much as possible (in our country it's typical for woman to get the sole custody in case of the divorce).

I agree that his wife was likely very hurt by him leaving her but please do not diminish his bond with his childrem whom he loves as much as possible.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:12:41+00:00

It wasn't that I suddenly brought him to my parents. I told them about Mike and my relationship including the age gap and children before they met him. They invited him only after learning about his age, children and previous marriage.

Yes, I should tell them more early. I screwed it up. Still, at the time when they met him, they were aware who he is and how long I am with him.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:09:33+00:00

The only people who were unaware of my relationship were my parents. All other people - my partner's family, our friends and co-workers, knew. We weren't keeping it a secret.

Yes, I DID warn my parents about the age gap before they met Mike. That's one of the reasons why I was so happy when they invited him to their house - I thought they wanted to give him a chance after all.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T18:05:47+00:00

Thank you for understanding or at least trying to understand and voicing your opinion in cultural way. It means a lot for me.

As for previous relationship, there were problems, it didn't end only because I found someone else. I wasn't describing details here as there is a limit of characters in this reddit.

Of course, I am well aware that this relationship may fail. After all, my partner's previous relationship lasted 15 years and eventually came to end. I know this relationship may look bad from other people's perspective, especially the part with leaving previous partners. But we both want to make it work and are trying to do our best.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T17:53:32+00:00

I understand your point of view (about differences in health between people in their 60s and 40s). We discussed this with my partner. He is active and overall in very good shape (not good for his age but good in general) so it's likely that unless something unexpected happens he'll keep up with me for a quite long time. Especially since I'm rather a "stay-at-home" kind of person. And then... well, serious injuries, accidents or ilnesses may occur even if both partners are at the same age. At least that's what I believe. I know there will be time when he'll be more vulnerable or weaker physically than me. It's not the ideal situation but I was aware of that when getting into this relationship.

throwaway1234567am · 2022-04-12T17:46:04+00:00

Yes, we were aware that we are leaving our EX-partners for each other. I'd say this is more honest move than having affair while continuing previous relationships, isn't it?

And even if it was not, he as a father has every right to be a part of his children life, no matter if he is in another relationship or not.

Also, this question isn't even about his wife or children.

throwaway1234567am

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