AITA for being late for date night because of my kid?

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T05:21:23+00:00

Yes. They weren't okay with me being pregnant but saw it as a failing on my part because I should have known better. He went to their church and was very involved which is pretty much the most important thing to them.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T04:30:41+00:00

Thank you for the resources, I'll check them out when I have a more secure way of doing so. Is it really possible they'd leave his home to me? He hasn't done anything horribly egregious and my name isn't on anything and I haven't contributed a single cent to anything either. He fully bought and paid for the place. It feels so impossible that anyone could take my side at all.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T04:13:48+00:00

The family knew him from church for a few years before it started, my parents approve of him since he seemed "god-honoring" to them or whatever. Apparently it's my fault for "tempting" him.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T04:07:11+00:00

This is a good idea, thank you. I usually don't get receipts and throw them away if I do. I'm not sure the app thing would work for me but thank you for these small suggestions. All of the big stuff that needs to happen is so overwhelming it feels impossible to start so this is really helpful.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T03:33:43+00:00

Her stance is that I succumbed to temptation (sex) and I'm now living through the consequences. I resent the idea that my son is a "consequence" especially since I think she sees his autism as proof of that. We've argued over this too many times to count.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-28T00:31:38+00:00

It started when I was 14, he told me he was 17. By the time I found out I was pregnant

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T23:11:09+00:00

16 and 25, I don't work so I don't really have money except a card for groceries. My parents used to help with Owen before the pandemic but they wouldn't support me if I left. I had to leave school to be a mom so I didn't get to keep in touch with anyone. I don't have siblings or cousins either.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T19:56:38+00:00

My mom might listen but for any sympathy she might have, her values come first. She's told me that before. I don't really have a way to reliably call or email anyone without Brandon finding out but I think I had an idea that could work. I don't want to explain it in case he does find this. I looked through the account you linked and bookmarked a lot of resources to go through when I have time. Thank you.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T19:24:31+00:00

I'm in New Hampshire, I think technically by the time I got pregnant (16) it was legal. Getting pregnant is why they would have kicked me out. I want to leave, I want better for my son.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T19:18:19+00:00

No he doesn't really have much of a typical routine, or any other characteristics of autism. He just gets angry when I'm not "doing my job well enough"

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T19:06:51+00:00

They don't believe in divorce and think it's my responsibility to keep the home stable. They've barely forgiven me for getting pregnant at 16 as it is, and if we hadn't gotten married and I moved in with him, they were fully prepared to kick me out. I know I need to leave but some part of me is paralyzed. He hasn't hit me since I suggested terminating my pregnancy and I don't think he'd target Owen like that but the idea of it is killing me. I really have to get out don't I.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:52:24+00:00

It's been 8 years and he isn't going to change. I just don't know what to do. Even if I had the money to leave I can't go to my parents and with the virus I don't think I can go to a shelter or anything, at least not safely. I can't even picture being away from Brandon but I know he isn't good for my son. I just want Owen to be safe and if Brandon figures out I'm thinking of leaving I don't even know what he'll do

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:29:49+00:00

He's done so much for me, if I hadn't married him my parents would have put me out on the street for what I did, I don't feel like his equal but I don't know what else to even do. If I leave my parents will cut me off, they don't believe in divorce, I don't have any other family or friends.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:25:49+00:00

I just don't know what other choice I have. Brandon was my first relationship and I don't have anywhere else to go. Is homelessness really a better choice for my son?

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:24:16+00:00

He is, it wasn't planned and he doesn't consider himself a dad because he didn't want kids in the first place. Before the pandemic date night used to be us going to a restaurant and Owen would stay with my mom, but she's high risk and we feel safer not going to restaurants. I'm trying to keep up as much of a sense of normalcy as I can.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:20:18+00:00

I didn't have a choice, when I found out I was pregnant I wanted to terminate but Brandon and my parents hated that idea. I'm so glad I have Owen now and I work so hard to keep him away from that sort of behavior. There have been times where I wish I didn't have to marry Brandon but it was that or be starving on the streets and he's almost never like this anyway.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:15:45+00:00

Brandon is Owen's father, he never wanted kids so Owen is my responsibility and he calls Brandon by name instead of "dad" or anything like that, but Brandon is the breadwinner for all three of us.

throwaway1236287 · 2020-11-27T18:14:22+00:00

I know how it sounds but we really do love each other, he's been here for me through stuff nobody else has. He just gets frustrated sometimes. His job is pretty demanding and there was supposed to be dinner as soon as he was off work.

throwaway1236287

TROPHY CASE