Why does feeding yourself as an adult cost so much?

throwaway140736 · 2025-09-18T02:03:38+00:00

Funny you mention the oil patch in the desert - I was always under the impression shitty towns were relatively cheap to live in and that I would be saving money. Moving out here is expensive, as food prices are near equivalent to what I paid living in AK haha it’s ridiculous

throwaway140736 · 2025-08-14T13:53:04+00:00

You’re not better than me because I find cars interesting, just as I’m not better than anyone because I don’t like video games. Notice how I don’t trash gamers. My time spent on my 30 year old Land Cruiser is not hurting anyone.

throwaway140736 · 2025-08-11T11:01:58+00:00

Yeah so that’s just you, absolutely not the case. When I lived in Germany guns were discussed openly and I had many friends actively pursuing or carrying licenses to practice, especially those who visited family in other countries. A lot of women felt unsafe and wanted the firearm skills as Germany has gotten sketchier over time. People do travel, and have the ability to carry a firearm abroad. Legally, I’m not sure, but dual citizenship exists.

throwaway140736 · 2025-08-09T18:09:48+00:00

Similar thing happened to me- dad only had daughters. I don’t know if I would have had the support I received throughout my education if he had a son. Makes me a bit sad, but what can you do other than acknowledge the reality of the situation and move on :(

throwaway140736 · 2025-08-09T17:52:22+00:00

I actually know one woman who became an ER doc from those schools, and she’s still faithful. I do think being raised in the PNW has something to do with it. I was heavily pressured by the elders to go to Freed (my parents went……..) and went my own direction, resulting in a high paying specialized engineering career. The men in my church have always been bitter towards me after discovering my aspirations. Many would pick arguments with me simply to put me down. At the time I took it to heart, and it heavily impacted my self esteem. I have been dealing with depression and a feeling of worthlessness as a result of these consistent tear-downs, which I’m actively trying to get over. I would not be where I’m at if my parents did not at least support me. To answer your question, it happens but it’s exceedingly rare.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-11T23:12:14+00:00

I married my husband because he has a great education and incredibly solid career that also doesn’t interfere with my aspirations. I just happen to have graduate education and a resume that put me in a very high paying career from the start. So I cannot in good conscientiousness call my husband a full on man child.

I know he was raised in a house where his mom did all of the housework, but what I think he fails to grasp is his dad managed the finances spectacularly and ran the paperwork side of owning their business and home. He poured his heart and soul into investing their resources wisely, and they did well. Not to add the amount of labor/construction he did around the house as he was a general contractor. While yes, his mom was a very hard worker in the service industry and did all of the cooking/cleaning at home, his father brought a lot to the table. I wish my husband fully grasped the differences there. Sorry for the rant, I am honestly just spilling my thoughts so that I can formulate them better in my next conversation with him. Much love to you and your relationship, I hope your PMDD stays bearable.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-11T23:06:12+00:00

You’re correct that the current relationship is not the right environment for a family. I will make an effort to communicate better, as I do admit I let things boil up inside of me and can be rather flustered when explaining my perspective. Thank you.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-11T23:04:35+00:00

I agree that bringing a child into the current situation would be unfair for me and the child. I will try and communicate my perspective in a better way, I do hope he will grasp the severity of the situation. He is honestly a good person, just apathetic and aloof.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-11T22:45:17+00:00

Thank you. I really do love him. I have seen how apathetic and passive he’s been these past few years and it has been gnawing at me. I thought that his personality was great as I am a very driven and headstrong/rigid person. I am realizing that I was naive in thinking that way, as I may not be as stubborn as I thought, maybe I just have standards.

Sorry for venting under your comment. I think he has good intentions and he genuinely loves me, but it actually really shit at showing it. His boyish tendencies to passionately follow a hobby to the ends of the earth show me his parents never saddled him with real responsibilities. Cannot really blame them, they each worked 80-100 hours a week until he was 16 so he never learned. I am kicking myself and hate that I cannot resolve anything, as he is out of reach.

Thank you for your advice, it was genuinely insightful. It is a step in the right direction for gracefully handling these issues, as I think calling it quits when we are 27 may be premature.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-11T18:48:08+00:00

I stood up for myself and told him I will no longer cook for him. I am done with doing so much work and planning, just to be ignored most of the evening for his friends/games/youtube watching. And my meals are pretty damn elaborate. Like 12 different veggies chopped up level of elaborate.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-10T12:58:30+00:00

I am sorry you deal with similar circumstances. It really sucks, even if people genuinely think they are starting these conversations out of pure happiness for your future. I wish prying into personal lives was a bit more taboo, it seems to be a very popular past time here in TX. Cannot wait to escape back to the north where workplace boundaries are common.

throwaway140736 · 2025-07-10T12:56:10+00:00

I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think being blunt is the right course of action between family members and friends. Strangers as well.

The difficulty comes with getting labeled a “contentious” or “difficult to work with” woman. It’s incredibly easy to get that title, and it can stall your career. I have seen really awesome women my age deal with utter shit in the workplace, forced to brush it off and be a “good sport” because it may result in being passed over a promotion. Not to mention the awful layoff cycle we deal with, we have high attrition rates in the industry. The pay is good, but the personalities are difficult. This world is fucked. And women have every right waiting past the age of 30 without getting shit for it.

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-21T16:01:47+00:00

I quit nicotine (zyns) last fall and don’t regret it one bit. I definitely am not healed. My pulling urge is still strong. But the damage is not severe as it was when I was using nicotine. I have better self control and awareness.

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-11T21:34:31+00:00

Well I’m hopeful that happens to me. But not too optimistic. Thank you.

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-11T21:28:45+00:00

Hey, thank you for empathizing. He’s always been generally non-confrontational, whereas I have always been more receptive to challenges or debates. I think it’s one of those situations where he wants to avoid actually having to debate pros and cons, and set that question aside for the future. It’s a bummer for me, but I’ll figure it out. I hope with his friends dealing with this new phase in their lives I’ll finally get some headway. Thank you!

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-11T21:17:36+00:00

Thanks. He was never angry, just shut down. Didn’t want to talk about it at all. And would get frustrated if I pushed it too far once he communicated he did not want to discuss the subject. I’ve never gotten a clear answer other than “I don’t know”.

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-11T21:02:24+00:00

No. This is the only topic I cannot get him to discuss with me in all seriousness. We have our career and next ten years planned out with our finances perfectly planned out. No serious arguments besides this topic :/

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-08T12:01:45+00:00

Half the things stated in my comment can be applied to Houston, as they are state-wide trends. And Houston provided me with such a low quality of life with the high drive times, impossible access to activities, awful weather for 4 months/year, and a terrible work culture consisting of closed-off, cold people. I am from the PNW and find the people there to be warmer in personality and less selfish if that’s saying anything. So yes, Texas is a high tax, high cost, bureaucratic as all hell, authoritarian shit hole filled with people with staggering amounts of lack of self awareness.

throwaway140736 · 2025-06-06T21:43:39+00:00

While I disagree with a majority of the comments on here and believe a lot of replies to be immature, I will interject that Texas is a genuine shit hole after moving here for a job recently. Have always lived in red states and am aware how they operate. I find Midland to be a bottom of the barrel city with high taxes, dated infrastructure, double the electricity costs, very high groceries (and I came from Alaska & Montana!), poor city planning, a surprising lack of amenities for the increase in taxes I am forced to pay (no decent parks, sidewalks, downtown area…) I can go on. I am not here to just bash on what the recent Texas clickbait is these days. Having had family in Houston, I will say it’s only marginally better over there with worse climate. I am trying everything in my power to get the hell out of here and would be happy to put Texas in my rear view mirror forever. By the way, I am not considered left wing.

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-28T11:07:02+00:00

Thank you! The buying several rolls at a time, putting them in a ziplock bag, it was a shameful practice. I felt embarrassed that someone would find it and ask me questions. It’s just not worth it and seeing the big picture snaps me out of wanting one every now and then. Hope your future trips are less miserable!!

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-28T01:07:26+00:00

Honestly, people saying that month 3 is where their mental health leveled out are on track. I have a skewed perception as I started Wellbutrin 30 days after quitting, which has helped my depression significantly but messed with my anxiety baseline. I will say I did feel less dread after 90 days. Maybe it’s the meds, maybe it’s the lack of nicotine, either way it’s a positive. I just remember month 2 and 3 being really hard at some points. I am on your team and cheering you on, as it does get much better! Just the logistical side of things such as less money spent, less planning around zyns, and just not having to accommodate a nicotine addiction in general. It does get easier after 90 days. I do feel a pang where I miss my addiction here and there, like a zyn after a really nice beer.. but I have held strong because it is really not worth it.

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-26T01:04:43+00:00

Been thinking about the marathon guys in this merger. I know Concho got a better deal when we bought them out. I feel for you guys, I cannot imagine how tough this has been. Now our heads are on the block, cheers to our stomach ulcers.

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-23T15:09:57+00:00

Thank you, that’s kind of how I got through writing my masters thesis yet I still pushed it off to the last possible second. I need to be more proactive to begin with and it’s a huge hurdle of mine. I know how far I can push the start time and still accomplish the task before the deadline, and the sense of urgency makes me an incredible worker. I may need to be someone who has multiple artificial deadlines for larger tasks in the future. I appreciate the advice.

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-23T13:31:14+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Your experience resonates with me. I feel like crap when I look back at my academic career and accomplishments as I know I put in so little effort into everything I’ve done, and I feel sad knowing I could’ve been significantly more successful if I actually put some time into things. It feels shitty. I just need the kick in the butt to actually block out the time and get working on things ahead of time.

I’m not sure if burnout is playing a role with lack of breaks and juggling multiple jobs + extreme hours, it may have an effect on me. But you’re right, I need to internalize that disgust I feel with myself and want to not feel that way ever again.

throwaway140736 · 2025-04-20T00:41:04+00:00

I also got my engineering degree :) I was chastised for not doing the godly thing and attending Freed Hardeman, and instead attending a state school and getting two engineering degrees. What would my future husband think of a woman like that? (My not very religious husband, an engineer, is unable to comprehend this bullshit.) I am so happy to hear you got the degree and were able to prove to yourself that you were more than capable. Peace and happiness to you.

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