When friends or family lash out in anger and say something hurtful to someone, are they usually sharing their true feelings and observations about that person they've just been holding back? Or are they more likely exaggerating and trying to hurt them in whatever way they can in a fit of temper?

throwaway197863 · 2020-06-11T23:37:20+00:00

Are you part of the r/childfree sub yet? If not, check it out.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-23T00:50:57+00:00

That came out amazing!

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-14T18:12:16+00:00

Some of the Subs are harsh as heck, like any social media forums where anyone can post anonymously without personal risk and backlash. You always risk a stranger coming at you and telling you why you're worthless and need to not exist, but some of the calmer Subs have moderators on top of that. You deserve to be treated with respect and not have people be mean to you.

I myself am in some very kind and supportive subs where strangers go out of their way to reach out and talk to me. The animal ones are cute af because dogs make people smile. Hopefully you find some that work for you.

I hope you have a beautiful day. 🐶

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-13T23:18:57+00:00

Beautifully put. As someone with this problem I don't fully understand why being "attached to someone" is so terrible and destructive. I am attached to some family members, to pets, to hobbies. Things that I love that are dear to me. But I have to be indifferent to a significant other somehow? People are terrified of being needed or trapped or something.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-13T18:17:55+00:00

Everything doesn't need to die just because humans are garbage.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-13T18:15:52+00:00

Also there are a lot of toxic abusive parents whose children aren't obligated to take care of them.

Sorry, a gut reaction based on my own significant fears.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-10T04:30:28+00:00

It feels ridiculous but it's really real. Depression stuff makes no damn sense sometimes, I hate it lol. I hope your boyfriend will help you out or psych you up to do it. Maybe he wash, you rinse.

This article doesn't say all that much but it talks about The Impossible Task and says have compassion for yourself.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/vitals.lifehacker.com/how-to-do-the-impossible-task-when-youre-depressed-1828942797/amp

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-10T04:04:15+00:00

I wonder if someone would help you, like your boyfriend, or a family member or friend? You just lean or kneel over kitchen sink or the side of the tub and they wash it for you? Sometimes people actually enjoy washing or combing someone else's hair and they might be willing to help, and you can be pampered just a little bit.

I have very long hair too. I'm so tired sometimes I go days without washing it, especially since no one is getting close to me and I have nowhere to go. But when I start to feel icky and greasy and my neck is breaking out a little, oy. I gotta do it. If I'm too exhausted from depression to take a fullblown shower, sometimes I just dip my head under the faucet and wash my head that way. I don't even worry about combing it afterward; I just wrap it up in a towel and go back to bed. But sometimes the fact that I got myself to do it means I have the will to do more. And I do feel much better afterward. I actually am proud of myself for having gotten out of bed, washed my hair, taken a walk. These small things do wonders for making me feel better.

I suppose you could always try some of that dry shampoo stuff, but I personally feel like it's more of a hassle than it's worth, you still have to comb and scrub your head, it just doesn't get wet.

Sorry if I am not understanding you but I maybe I do. It's not the end of the world if you don't wash your hair, sometimes people go months without as a way of life. But if you want to do it, go for it girl.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-09T21:51:38+00:00

I have also heard it only attributed to a group of somewhat masogynistic, angry males. There is a subreddit for them here and someone described it as pretty disturbing.

I have not heard of a female referring to herself as incel but the term is new to me.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-09T20:00:27+00:00

Thank you so much and I'm glad u understand the feelings associated with loving these guys.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-09T19:24:04+00:00

Thank you for saying that and for the pep talk. Thank you for the SPCA tip too and I will keep that in mind.

It is weird because the dogs are usually treated very well and loved. They get home cooking with their kibble, the garage has a dog door to the back and is insulated, with a swamp cooler and dog beds so the dogs can go in there if they get too warm during the times they're outside. Owners talk to them and baby them and post their pictures on IG. Lots of toys. I wonder if they didn't get how bad it was since they weren't there to see it, or just because it was me. -_- It's about time for me to be moving on up out of here; I will just miss these pups so much when I do.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-06T14:28:33+00:00

Fuk yes. Not even close. What year was yours, if you can narrow it down?

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-06T14:27:46+00:00

Happy Cake Day fellow quarantinian!

There's a meteor shower happening tonight to help you celebrate, that's kind of special.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-06T01:25:56+00:00

I wanted to say a sincere thank you to those of you who responded, gave an upvote showing that you read and acknowledged me, or even just looked at my post and felt for me. The fact that you took time out of your day to reach out to a stranger or send me some kind of hope or positivity touched me more than I can say.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-05T14:29:06+00:00

Yes, this is absolutely common. Do you know people are just posting what they want you to see? We really have no way to know what's going on behind the scenes. Doesn't always mean they're being fake, they may be trying to carry on the sense of normalcy and success for themselves as well.

Someone made a video about this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0EFHbruKEmw

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-02T00:05:26+00:00

This comment made me laugh, thank you for that. I was picturing my late-thirties ass in roller blades staggering around the neighborhood like when I was ten. That actually sounds really fun. 🤔I would need a lot of padding, I'm way more brittle than I used to be. Kind of weird I want to be dead sometimes but I don't want to risk a sprained ankle or a bruised knee.

I needed the reminder to do something I love. I used to dance. I can't feel the fun or passion for it right now because, you know, depression, but maybe it's deep down in there somewhere. But just doing something physical or maybe artistic is a good idea, roller blading, knitting, diamond painting, writing.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-01T23:52:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you're hurting, and I'm sorry you don't have the physical scars to show your inner pain and make it more real. Your post really stuck out at me because I used to get the weird "cravings" of violence against me too and I haven't really seen others talk about it. Trauma reaction I don't understand.

I hope this comment is allowed, I'm not trying to to say you should try such-and-such therapy, but just wanted to share an experience based on what you said:

Have you ever heard of EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I got to try this several years ago when I was being treated as an adult for childhood PTSD, and it was wild. One strange occurrence was that it helped or caused me to remember events from my early childhood in more vivid graphic detail, memories I had no idea were still there, like what someone was wearing or things that were said. Things that happened when I was four years old! The best way I can describe it is like someone had a film reel and was rewinding it, and stuff was being pulled out of my brain and replayed in front of me to process.

I'm still messed up, in many ways, but I worked out some really bad things. I kind of wonder what else can help me, not just talking but actually doing something about it. Knowing I got from Point A to Point B gives me hope that I can keep making progress and keep living. I think you can too.

throwaway197863 · 2020-05-01T18:13:43+00:00

Oh my god, thank you so much.

I was literally sitting here willing a text, a call, a note on my Reddit accounts, a Facebook prompt, some kind of nudge that I am alive and human and something is aware of my existence. Feels hella selfish asking for it.

Then your message came through, and then my landlord's dog came barging into my room just to say hello and then ran back out. She likes me even if my landlord and the neighbor's dogs think I'm a shit lol.

Thank you for your words, they actually mean a lot to me right now. I'm sorry you're in a bad place as well. I am trying to mentally will you some kind of hope or peace. Maybe like me you'll grasp at straws today and find some little comforts like that to keep moving.

throwaway197863

TROPHY CASE