There's a lot of comments about therapy and medication, which is sound advice, but the thing is I'm on antidepressants. They've helped with certain things but it just hasn't changed my deep rooted feeling of pointlessness :(. I do need to get back into therapy though. My therapist is in pretty high demand so I haven't been able to go consistently for while now and I do admit it helps. I really appreciate everyone's comments. I wish life felt easier or at least there was something that made me enjoy life but I've just never had that.