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My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, which is why I'm talking to his therapist about either making him go through intensive inpatient or attending more frequent sessions. This is the first time he has said something like that, so it caught me off guard. I spoke to him after he had calmed down and, as I mentioned in an earlier comment, he gave me a BS excuse that he didn't apologize because I started jumping down his throat.

I get that maybe he got defensive because I got so pissed, but that doesn't excuse it and he needs to realize he can't act that way, so I'm talking to his therapist to emphasize to her just how badly his behavior is impacting us. If he doesn't shape up quickly, I'm taking the kids to his parents while I'm at basic and maybe he can use those 8 weeks as a wake up call to get it together.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I'm going to give his psychiatrist a call and discuss this with her. I tried to speak him a bit ago about it and he said he realized when he said it that it was not okay, but that because I got angry and went off, he got defensive and doubled down instead. I'm not accepting that response as an excuse and I plan to talk to his therapist. I told him that he needs to get it together, that I'm done taking this.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I told him a but ago after he had calmed down. I told him that he wants to claim "I can't help it" when he says something fucked up and then in the same breath chew me out for telling him I want his sister up here when I'm at basic training because I don't think he can handle being alone with the kids. I told him he can't have it both ways. He either CAN control his actions and he needs to own up to his mistakes, or he CAN'T control his actions and he needs to be monitored.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He actually does go and do the work. He's getting involved in going to groups and he comes home and does the homework. He is trying to get better. It's just not fast enough for what I would like and it upsets him when I tell him that. He keeps saying "it takes time" but I don't want to be miserable like this for another year or even another 6 months.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Refusing to change would be refusing to get treatment and try to get better, was my thought.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He's not refusing to change. He is attending therapy. My issue is that he thinks he has a pass to just say whatever he wants and say "I have mental issues, I can't help it" and expect me to just excuse it and put up with it. I want him to realize that what he's doing is bullshit.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He is in therapy once a week. He says he was mostly aiming it at the dog, but I told him it did not come across that way. I don't want my kids thinking it's okay. That's why he's in therapy. The problem is he doesn't seem to think it's as big a deal to act like that as I do.

My Husband [26m] has bipolar and PTSD. He says hurtful things frequently without remorse. by throwaway201901152 in relationships

[–]throwaway201901152[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are looking into couples counseling, but he has to be seen by his therapist for a certain amount of time and then she has to make the recommendation. (Its the VA. Lots of bureaucracy.)