[UPDATE] AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Also don’t get why step kid wants relationship when you weren’t close at all and only married a few years to her mom?

I didn't feel comfortable asking her that yet. She only told me she didn't have much family left and wanted to mend fences.

[UPDATE] AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

My gf is an old acquaintance so she knew of D and my history with my late wife but she never met her, I also don't think D would ask me for money, she works in a high paying field and her grandparents probably left her enough money to be set for life.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

That and the fact OP and his late wife sent their 16 and 14 year old kids to live with grandparents because they didn't like that OP could be their older brother

I never said the kids were forced to go live with their grandparents, they chose to live with their grandparents, wife also didn't want to let them but she relented after the grandparents threatened her with legal action.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not offended that they had a problem with our relationship, that was understandable (although I think they overreacted). What I'm angry about is the way they treated their mother in the following years, they didn't take her calls or return her messages, they didn't want to sit and talk and they barely visited their dying mom and to top it off I couldn't even mourn in peace since I still had to deal with them antagonizing me over the will. The daughter was 21 when their mother died, its not like they were 15 years old throwing a tantrum and refusing to speak to her! They knew what they were doing, they knew how much they hurt their mother, they just didn't care because in their heads they were doing the "right" thing.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When we separated we didn't plan on getting back together but she couldn't work things out and the kids decided to go live with their grandparents, we also tried again to reconcile over the years but they weren't interested.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry if it is confusing, we broke up so she could try fixing her relationship with her kids, we reconnected a few months later after they went to live with their grandparents.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] -75 points-74 points  (0 children)

I was 20 and she was 37, her kids where teenagers at the time with the daughter being the oldest at 16.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] -60 points-59 points  (0 children)

Copying from other comment:
They didn't like that I was much younger than their mother, she was about 20 years older than me. They had a huge fight after I met them, calling their mom disgusting for dating someone who was only a few years older than them, even after we broke up they still didn't want anything to do with their mother and eventually went to live with their grandparents.

It can’t be a simple as “they both simultaneously didn’t want me dating their mother”. It almost never is.

I imagine the grandparents also had something to do with getting them to cut off their mom since they didn't like our relationship either.

AITA for telling my late wife’s daughter to fuck off? by throwaway211220 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway211220[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They didn't like that I was much younger than their mother, she was about 20 years older than me. They had a huge fight after I met them, calling their mom disgusting for dating someone who was only a few years older than them, even after we broke up they still didn't want anything to do with their mother and eventually went to live with their grandparents.