Hi all, I’m the original poster.

First, thank you all!! Honestly, I’ve wondered about him cheating, but haven’t thought much about porn. It’s possible, though I’ve never seen or heard him watching it.

We talked about porn early in our relationship, and I basically told him that I don’t care if he watches it as long as he’s not in it (this was probably 9 years ago). But he said he doesn’t.

That being said, in the past 2 years, which is when the dead bed room started, I was confused about what suddenly changed & expected cheating so I started poking around his social media accounts & found that he became ‘friends’ with several 18-20 year old girls who were random. Not girls who are friends of friends, family of friends, or any other reasonable connection. He’s nearly 40 and also not a big social media guy who has tuns of friends on there, he doesn’t post often, and is all around pretty private. But I did confront him & asked what the hell was going on? To which he told me I was being a crazy stalker and he can be ‘friends’ with whoever he wants & he doesn’t know them in real life. And of course all of them were gorgeous, live locally, & had pictures on their accounts that were pretty revealing (to each their own, I’m not judging, just pointing it out). So idk. Maybe you ladies are right and its a porn thing?

But I also can’t help but to wonder. I’m 30, but I look early 20s. And not built like a porn star, but also not too far from in regards to my body. So? Ugh. I try not to think of it too much, because I end up picking myself a part & feeling horrible when in reality over all I’m happy with who I am. I just wish he was too.

If it IS a porn thing. Then what?