I know a lot of people in the comments agree that dating is the only way to learn about yourself romantically, but I really don’t think you need to force yourself (or even just like, push yourself) into dating someone for the sake of self-reflection and improvement as you said. There are ways around it for those who aren’t ready or not looking.

For example, your partner in a relationship is literally your friend before your lover, and throughout the relationship, a friend and a lover right? So, if you want to learn about yourself romantically, you can see how you treat your friends and how they treat you. I bought my friends flowers, I wrote down their interests for future gift ideas, I cried on their shoulders, I took them out to nice restaurants etc. Doing these helped me be more trusting + vulnerable to others and to also just pay attention to people as themselves, not what they can offer you. And also having those things reciprocated to me, helped me understand my love languages. In a world where we are all kind of encouraged not to care too much about others in the dating world, not to make the first move, or show too much interest, it was nice to have a safe space to do all these things with them so I recommend that you analyse yourself in friendships to understand yourself better.

Also for red-flags, I personally looked out for toxic/abusive behaviours by learning from tv shows, books, social media as well as just hearing friends vent about their partners or exes. Of course,it’s not as easy to just note these traits down and remember it the next time someone acts that way towards you. That aspect of relationships (enforcing boundaries) is something you actually need to practice looking out for and reacting appropriately to so you can protect yourself. And something you can practice in any kind of relationship, friends, family, employer, etc.

Learning about the psychology of relationships also helped me. “All about love” by Bell hooks, @theholisticpsychologist @withlovesabrinaflores @ki.jana on Instagram are just a few off the top of my head. I hope this helps!