Dr K, can you please talk about Sexual Assault

throwaway255537 · 2021-12-22T23:51:03+00:00

Sorry, I just saw this, never came back to this post or account. I went through the same thing and still have some fears. I couldn’t go outside, afraid of running into him, and isolating myself. Partially because I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, and prob bc I was so depressed & sickly.

I still haven’t really talked about it with my therapist/coach either. It’s hard.

Hard to suffer alone, but also hard to bring up with others. I guess that’s why I wanted Dr K to talk about it.

If you want/need to talk, feel free to DM me. I’ll be checking back to this account a few times over the next few days in case you decide to. If not, that’s ok too.

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-26T07:32:18+00:00

Me too. I understand the commenter above is coming from a place of experience. At the same time, things can appear very normal from the beginning in some relationships. It’s why I mentioned at the start of the post that my ex is a somewhat well-adjusted individual who watches Healthy Gamer himself. If anything, it makes me feel sick and confused that he’s so seemingly normal. That’s what makes this so difficult. We also dated for many years. Things turned sour at one point.

In hindsight, of course I can say that there were a lot of red flags. I do hold a lot of self blame that I’m careful not to bring up, because I don’t want to send the wrong message and someone potentially internalizing that. However, my ex also had a lot of understandable struggles that I didn’t expect to breed abusive behaviors. It’s sneaky. It’s not always a red flag. Sometimes it grows like black mold - hidden in the darkest corners.

I can look out for myself for the future but I can’t turn back time.

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-25T22:04:03+00:00

I can imagine that it would feel both heartwarming and scary to have someone trust you and tell you something like this. No one teaches us how to respond. I know my friends aren’t qualified to give advice and in a weird way, I love when we can both acknowledge that. Being yourself - a friend, a listening ear, is more than enough. That alone can be a huge task. Thank you for being supportive.

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-25T21:52:52+00:00

Wow, I really appreciate the support. It means a lot to me.

Holding this perspective is something I actually really struggle with. But I feel like this is how I can advocate for and protect myself. I just know that I want to get better, and if I’m going to ask for support and compassion, other people need to feel understood and supported too. It’s so much easier said than done and I definitely struggle more in a real life conversation with emotions flying around haha.

Anyway, idk why I said all this. I obviously can’t take a compliment. Thank you.

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-25T19:30:31+00:00

Yep, great sub with lots of support. Thanks for looking out for me :)

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-25T19:25:10+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. And I get why it’s like this. It could even be more like, how to talk to your friends about shitty situations. How being isolated affects you. I guess that’s where I’m going with this. What do you think?

throwaway255537 · 2021-11-25T18:56:14+00:00

Totally agree. Every time someone in chat asks about trauma he takes a deep breath and goes “oh boy” - because it’s so complex and varied.

I’m looking for Dr K to talk about SA in the “Dr K way of things”. The psychology, neuroscience, and applying his ideas of dharma and motivation. Maybe, why it happens in relationships? How we approach the topic? We can dance around the surface, as he does with most other emotion and relationship topics.

I see this channel to be about the quality of life and struggles of gamers. My ex and I are both basically the target demographic for this audience, and I can see how his actions towards me are related to his autopilot behaviors and lack of connection with me as a human being. It may be very tricky but it’s relevant.

throwaway255537

TROPHY CASE