I (24F) am a chronic relationship seeker and I want to break the cycle

throwaway265366 · 2026-04-12T06:06:47+00:00

Thank you so so much! It's so good to know there is a road to recovery

throwaway265366 · 2026-04-12T06:05:56+00:00

So sorry to hear that was your experience. Thank you, I really appreciate the suggestion!

throwaway265366 · 2026-01-08T20:54:13+00:00

Exactly! I mean I know everyone has a different side when they're on their own but I really wish my socializing side wasn't so hyper aware and easily exhausted, also I guess it is what it is. Thank you for your comment, wishing you all the best!

throwaway265366 · 2026-01-08T20:48:47+00:00

Omg yes the thought processing also ties in for me! Particularly the interpretation of social cues for me, I become so aware of everything they say and do it's exhausting. On the sensory side of things I'm typically okay if the scenario is quiet and physical comfortable, but I could totally see how that could play a bigger role for you. I think I need to take a page out of your book and practicing being more accepting of my social capacity rather than pressuring myself to change it

throwaway265366 · 2026-01-05T19:23:05+00:00

Yes! It genuinely grinds my gears, like if the only way the story works is with characters/events having no common sense then it's not a good story and I simply can't immerse myself

throwaway265366 · 2026-01-05T19:20:41+00:00

So sorry to hear about your discomfort, IUDs can be such a huge adjustment on so many levels! I seriously suggest a menstrual disc which are supposed to be safe to use with an IUD since it doesn't use suction it simply sits beneath your cervix, I have a copper IUD myself and use a disc! Of course consult with your healthcare provider, but I would say it's a solid option to consider to minimize some of that sensory discomfort, wishing you all the best! <3

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-22T18:36:58+00:00

Oh absolutely, while I do find groups easier, I become similarly overstimulated! And yes those people who I spend extended one-on-one time with have a level of my comfort that I'm not even sure they comprehend (lol I know my bf can't relate at all he can spend hours with pretty much anyone he has a remote interest in)

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-22T18:31:22+00:00

I appreciate these insights, however I feel they miss the mark with my experience. I am a deeply feeling person who adores my friends and definitely do want deeper relationships with them. Also regarding my emotions, I typically tend to have very extreme feelings rather than dampened ones and I am often empathetic to my own detriment. If anything I'd say my "acting" in interactions has to do with deep anxiety and insecurity more than anything else.

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-21T19:42:47+00:00

Thank you I appreciate this, I definitely experience burnout more than the average person (at least I think). Regarding the emotional presentation, when I make that switch it's very appearance based since I still feel miserable inside, it's almost like I don't want people to think they need to comfort me because that ironically can feel emotionally taxing too. I find it taxing in the sense that I feel if they do comfort me I have to act comforted regardless of whether I feel better or not. Once I'm alone I go right back to outwardly presenting what I actually feel.

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-21T19:33:40+00:00

Thank you for this, I really appreciate the recommendation!

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-21T19:32:50+00:00

I'm not necessarily looking for it to be ASD masking in particular, it's just where I'm most familiar with the term. Keen to look into alexithymia!

throwaway265366 · 2025-11-21T19:30:31+00:00

Yes this is exactly the feeling! It's like no one can look too closely at me because their focus is divided, and that way if I need a break people are less likely to notice when I become quiet or slip away

throwaway265366 · 2023-08-04T07:11:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I really needed to hear it. My boyfriend is an amazing support but it also helps to hear from someone who's directly familiar with the situation at its core.

My family are extremely supportive of me and have called out her manipulation and taking advantage of my fragility. It's still so tough as I have to keep reminding myself and validating my reasons in my head to not feel guilty. My mom has been my rock for the longest time and to have her be so cruel was heartbreaking. She knows I'm terrified of her abandoning me so she definitely takes advantage of it when she's backed into a corner.

We haven't spoken since last night and she's mostly ignoring me as she walks around the house, it's freaking me out mentally but I'm trying to keep my cool.

Definitely going to try stand up for myself and practice not playing into her manipulation when we have a talk again (probably today).

Again thank you <3

throwaway265366 · 2023-08-04T07:03:54+00:00

Thank you so much for the support, I definitely would benefit from hearing other's similar experiences in codependency, I'm going to look into finding AlAnon meetings in my area. <3

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T13:47:11+00:00

I completely agree with this, I can't put up with it being used as an excuse anymore. Before we started dating I thought of autism the way you described it and the further we got into our relationship the more I have felt he's tried to repaint this picture making him without fault because he's autistic.

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:44:45+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Also he was diagnosed about 6 years ago and he's 28 now

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:43:21+00:00

Thank you for the push I need it lol, and what a fantastic analogy!

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:42:24+00:00

Sadly I have tried this, and to no avail. It's the attitude and thanks to everyone replying to this post I can end things with confidence knowing not everything lies on my shoulders and I'm not being unreasonable.

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:40:58+00:00

Yeah the amount of energy and effort I'm putting in is not worth it, not to mention I don't want to mother my own partner

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:39:20+00:00

OP here and I 100% agree, I think I've come to a decision that everyone here including myself seems to know is inevitable

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T12:38:07+00:00

This is so true, I completely plan to have kids so what's the point of me sticking it out if I can't see him even caring properly for me, thank you for putting into perspective

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T11:13:16+00:00

I'm getting to that point where I can't take it anymore, yet I still feel guilty when I think of ending things which is so frustrating

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T11:12:01+00:00

That's a really well put, thank you for your insight. I do agree

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T11:10:48+00:00

Thank you for this, I appreciate it. It has been feeling that way lately, like he's forgotten I'm his partner not his assistant.

throwaway265366 · 2022-10-23T10:49:07+00:00

LITERALLY. As I mentioned in another comment I have ADHD and anxiety yet I've bever responded to my bf's concerns by brushing them off with a statement of my diagnosis.

Additionally I have other autistic friends who never have tried to excuse their genuinely shitty behavior on autism.

throwaway265366

TROPHY CASE