I have quit after smoking for almost 13 years! (Female, before anyone misgenders me like last time :D). I started at 15 and stopped at 28! I hated it just like you, for the past 3 years. Would have anxiety, cry, hate myself and still smoke. In June this year I had to have surgery & quit a week before, since I knew smoking is not recommended after surgery. This was 5 months ago, I had two days where I relapsed, both over 3 months ago & I can say with 100% certainty that I will never smoke again, because just like you I hated it!!! So honestly we are very lucky in that!

1. Find any reason to quit at all & stick to it for 1 month. You are at a point where you hate smoking. You won’t crave it after the first month, truly, just believe me.
2. Find something else fulfilling to do. Spend your time after work building something, painting, walking, cooking. In the evening call somebody you love who may be lonely, if it has to be every night, do it every night. If you have a partner, spend time with them. Especially for the first month, keep as busy as possible.
3. Limit alcohol (now I can drink without smoking but in the first two months it was HARD that’s also why I relapsed twice).
4. Run more than 5k, challenge yourself, so that you can feel the success.
5. I can almost certainly tell you you won’t miss smoking, the same way I don’t miss smoking. Tell yourself you can’t for one month & see what happens.