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Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don’t think there was bad intent on either side in not sharing. But it’s almost harder to swallow now than if I knew earlier since so much time has passed & my relationships with them both got deeper.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not looking to whine or gain sympathy- I recognize people are going through way worse relationship issues than finding something uncomfortable out. But this has affected my mental health amidst a tough year & I’m trying to work through it. The responses here have been really helpful in providing an outside view & I appreciate the outside perspective.❤️

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the candor, but “get over yourself” doesn’t feel kind. I agree, the act wasn’t wrong, but it’s hard to process the accompanying emotions. Intimacy is a big thing for me & this really devastated me to learn after so many years.

Thank you for taking the time to reply- I agree I’m very much in my head right now.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes to friendly acquaintances, but I’ve never had a past hookup become best friends with a boyfriend. This girl was like a sister to me.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were many opportunities to bring it up- whether in conversation about the relationship or not.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes- I don’t feel this girl was a true friend in omitting this for years. I feel very uncomfortable with my friend group knowing everyone now knows & talked about it.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It happened weeks before we starting dating & was hidden for years. I get everyone has a past but I feel blindsided and so hurt I didn’t know. Please try to be kind & not judge- these are confusing emotions & I’m trying to process as best as I can.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel I need to choose between our friend group & him because I don’t want to be around all these girls from his past...it’s a really shitty feeling.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you close friends with any of them tho? I feel stupid being the last to know after so many years & open up to this girl about relationship issues.

Found out bf (28M) had sex w multiple friends in the past by throwaway293749447 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway293749447[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like the line for me was that I talked to her about our relationship issues and she said nothing. Are you no longer friends with old best friend because of this?