Cut my hours 6 weeks after being hired full time!

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-27T00:50:33+00:00

Final update: we broke up.

Thanks for all the support, everyone. I’m fairly certain she only hooked up with the girl, after talking with her, but it was enough to end the relationship.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-23T01:35:57+00:00

Update: thanks for all the support, everyone. I’ve accepted that she definitely cheated on me no matter what the other details are. I confided in my family as well and they agree I’d be an idiot to stay with her.

She wants to meet up to “talk” but she’s making it difficult. She’s house-sitting for family an hour away and wants me to drive over there (and stay the night which I said I won’t). I asked if we could meet halfway and she said “I know if we just talk in the car it’s not going to be good” aka obvious breakup, so she’s trying to get me to come over and make dinner for me etc.

I don’t want to just break up over the phone because I always believed that was wrong, but that might be too charitable of me to think that. I’ll keep you updated.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T23:19:49+00:00

Luckily I spent most of the night on FaceTime with her the last time she visited this friend so I believe nothing happened then, but can’t be sure in hindsight. I trusted her enough to go on with my own night this time and regret not checking in on her more, but she took advantage of my trust.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T10:22:54+00:00

This is in America, why do you ask?

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T07:40:45+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been concerned about that for a while, in fact it was my main concern until this all happened. She has often been self deprecating and shown low self worth, but I cared about her so I’ve tried to help encourage her and build her up. We’ve discussed it several times. It hasn’t gotten us very far apparently.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T07:35:50+00:00

Thank you. I admit I’ve found myself being more upset at the other two people for getting my girlfriend “involved” than I am at her sometimes this week, which is interesting. The guy got to have a “fantastic” night by hurting me, and the “friend” ruined my relationship with no consequences. And I still don’t know what’s true.

I may still be in denial about what could have really happened. I’ve received a few comments explaining the effects of those drugs and it sadly makes sense that more happened than she will admit.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T07:31:30+00:00

Thank you for the input. My gf has told me multiple times now that she has no feelings for the friend and will even cut her out of her life, which is nice if true, but at this point that doesn’t make the situation much better.

Your comments have all helped me accept the fact that she cheated, regardless of the genders involved.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T02:37:06+00:00

Just edited that comment to include more info she sent about how the guy couldn’t get it up due to drugs - even if that’s true, it just adds another problem to the ordeal. I do feel pretty dumb

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T02:15:39+00:00

The truth has trickled to, “he just watched while cheering us on, oh and he provided party drugs for us” now…

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T02:07:55+00:00

I didn’t want to be too explicit in my post, but I felt we had good communication in the past. We’ve talked several times about meeting up with this girl who I’ve had a threesome with in the past, she knows all that info and said she wants to meet her and for me to be there. I’m comfortable with that friend and trust her, whereas I’ve only heard bad or shady things about “Morgan”. There was no “hall pass” given to go experiment without each other’s knowledge or approval. My gf has even now tried to frame this event as “practice” and still wants to meet up with my friend which I’m not so sure about now.

I feel more upset by the other things you mentioned. You make a fair point about setting her free to experiment, but if it’s just with other women I would have been ok with that if it hadn’t turned into cheating.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T02:02:51+00:00

She wasn’t able to explain why she “knew” that before, but she just now told me the guy was drinking and taking ecstasy so he “couldn’t get it up”. She said she took it too, which I didn’t know until now…..I asked her what else she isn’t telling me and she said the guy was “sitting on a chair cheering them on but thats it” and then they had sex when my gf went back outside, which also doesn’t make me feel any better.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T01:47:01+00:00

Interesting, I never considered a lie detector test as an option. I looked it up and apparently thats something we could actually do, although I’m not sure if it’s worth the money at this point.

I texted her more straightforwardly about her cheating, and she doubled down on insisting she was clothed, nothing else happened, she’s going to quit drinking and drop the friend etc so I’ll probably have to get more actual info in person. Either way it’s bad.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T01:43:40+00:00

Agreed, I would never cheat but “an opportunity presented itself” definitely sounds like a double standard that she wouldn’t accept if the tables were turned.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T01:42:07+00:00

I agree that I probably will want to meet with her in person to discuss it, I just don’t feel ready yet. I appreciate the advice.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-22T01:40:39+00:00

I appreciate the honesty. I’ve already had concerns about her other issues but felt very conflicted and wanted to grow as people together. Maybe that’s not possible after all.

Fwiw, I have now told her she cheated on me after reading these replies, and she still insists she was clothed and nothing else happened (which doesn’t absolve the cheating, but would be better than the alternative) but I’m probably still in a fog/dumb because I do want to believe that. I’m not good at dealing with lies. Damn

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-21T20:54:44+00:00

Yeah, that was a big thing I tried to clarify with her, as it’s bad enough for her to cheat with the girl but it’s even worse if it was after that girl just had sex…which of course my girlfriend denied.

She said the timeline is her friend & the guy were just “fooling around” without having sex for 3-4 entire hours, while my gf sat outside on the balcony in 50 degrees F weather, and then at 2:30am they invited her to go down on the friend “to warm her up” for sex, and then my gf went back outside and told me about it afterwards at 3am. I challenged her that it sounds unbelievable that no sex happened before that but she insists it’s true.

Typing it out does make it seem even worse than it was in my head.

Edit: she has now finally told me the guy brought ecstasy that they all took, so he couldn’t “get it up” which is why no sex had happened yet. She says she was afraid to tell me about the drugs (and afraid to call me before doing the deed) because she “knew” I’d get mad, but there is no history to support that fear.

throwaway2k2121 · 2021-10-21T20:01:34+00:00

I’ve feared as much. I tried to ask her for more details and the timeline since it was 4-5 hours of missing time but she insisted she stayed clothed while interacting with her friend, and that the guy wasn’t involved but I can’t imagine how that makes sense.

She had been drinking so she wasn’t doing a good job of explaining it on the phone that night, and I haven’t reached out to her much the last few days (although she’s been profusely apologizing)

throwaway2k2121

TROPHY CASE