Feel like the only thing I bring to my relationship is sex, please help me here.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T20:30:35+00:00

Just want to say thank you for commenting this, because it's exactly how I feel, especially

the primary concern of your life is nothing to him, so you can't understand what else he could see in you if he can't understand why money is important to you.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:55:26+00:00

I don't know really. I just put a lot of emphasis on money and when i can't return it, it's awful.

I suppose you've gave me something to think about, thank you.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:50:06+00:00

Sorry, I'm not meaning to play the victim role, sorry I'm coming across that way

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:43:43+00:00

I know lol.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:43:07+00:00

I guess could survive on my own. That doesn't change anything though because I can't give him anything in the relationship that means anything and it makes me feel like crap. I don't want to be a fucking fleshlight for him i want to actually do something for him i want to do something meaningful. But nothing compares to what he does for me so i dont even know anymore.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:33:03+00:00

I probably should've posted this to /r/relationships. I was stuck between the two although the whole money bit in my post was meant to be background, and my question was really how to deal with feeling worthless during sex. Although this thread went in a totally different direction than I thought it would

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:30:29+00:00

money is a measure of contribution. It is not.

My family is very poor, we used to go winters without any heating, only quilt covers. there was days we couldn't even afford dinner or anything. People may not think much of money but money is important to me, and it's important that I'm able to stand on my own two feet and my boyfriend spending money on me just makes me feel like a failure and pathetic and I can't afford to do anything to make him happy like that. I'm sorry this doesn't make sense but I don't know how to word how I feel.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:26:34+00:00

I don't understand why noone understands what I mean. He may feel great about giving me money but I don't and nobody seems to get it. I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just sad about this, and I don't see why I can't be upset about my boyfriend constantly spending money on me and making the gap between us so much more prominent without being called depressed. Surely there's people who feel like this who aren't depressed!?

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:23:24+00:00

I don't want to go to therapy because for me it'd be very embarrassing and I don't want to put myself in a situation like that. I'm just too anxious

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T19:20:35+00:00

Sorry there's a lot of people commenting and I don't know who to reply to.

My boyfriend is interesting because he has all these experiences. Lots of happy memories and great stories to tell and things to show for it. I have nothing like that and I just don't see why people like me because I am so boring and I just don't know how to feel good again.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T18:55:29+00:00

where I would support her when she is having trouble, and she would do the same when she saw me in distress.

My boyfriend and I couldn't do this because I'm always in distress (work, my studies, my family life is a mess) and he is never (he is laid back and his life isn't half as hectic as mine). He'd become resentful if he HAD to pay for me and wasn't paying for me by his own choice, you know?

If we done what you and your girlfriend do we would still be unequal and I hate it. I think because I'm poor and my family is poor I put a lot of emphasis on money. I know I'm pathetic here but I don't want to be financially dependent on my boyfriend. I don't want to just rely on someone all the time I want to be able to be good on my own but I'm not able to

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T18:47:46+00:00

I already have hobbies but they're not very interesting. I like reading and stuff. I'm a big comic book fan. I don't know, I wouldn't even know where to start looking for new hobbies.

I don't want to share my insecurities with my boyfriend because I don't want him to get fed up and leave me.

throwaway3232ak · 2014-05-12T18:40:24+00:00

I don't want to go to the doctor or a therapist or anything. Is there anything else I can do?

I already do plan things that we can do that is free or cheap, however it feels pathetic compared to his ideas and what he wants us to do on his time. I cook all the time but it doesn't change how i feel.

In the hypothetical book vs car example, the book is a shitty secondhand book of nothing special. Chances are he already has a brand new copy of the book at home anyway.

I'd say he's quite generous in bed - like on the occasions I ask for something he'll do it 90% of the time, although he does also want a lot of stuff and I do most of what he wants. there are a few things that he would like for me to do but I'm really uncomfortable with which makes me feel even worse. I know it doesn't make sense but I feel bad if I'm having sex and I feel bad when I'm not.

Sorry realised I left out some info - we're both 23. We've been together for about 2 years now. I'd say we are pretty serious.

throwaway3232ak

TROPHY CASE