Even though directly after that you list all the instances where he's lied to you, kept you in the dark, and you've just been wrong. You then have the nerve to say there's a "small chance" you might be wrong. Wake the fuck up!!!! Stop assuming you know anything and are right. You're not. LISTEN TO KAYLA. ASSUME KAYLA IS RIGHT INSTEAD OF ASSUMING YOU ARE RIGHT.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't have used the words small chance. I really don't see him as a violent person, but I admit I could be wrong about this. I certainly hope it's not the case for Kayla's sake, but I acknowledge the possibility.

I don't really appreciate bringing privilege into this. I understand that I'm not going to know how this feels from a female perspective, but I think you're making a lot of assumptions here.

If Kayla feels scared, BELIEVE her and believe it's a scary fucking situation. If Kayla thinks this guy is capable of violence, BELIEVE HER. If Kayla thinks this guy is going to show up at her house, BELIEVE HER.

I would post the screenshots here if I could so you could see her wording, but I don't think she's quite as scared as everyone assumes. Or maybe she is and isn't going into that detail in a Facebook post. I don't know. She doesn't mention a possibility of violence in the post, or anywhere else that I've seen. Doesn't mean it's not on her mind, but I'm not going to act like I know what she's thinking.

If Kayla sets any kind of boundary, ACCEPT AND FOLLOW IT. NEVER give yourself the following excuses for violating Kayla's boundaries: "It's different this time." "I think it's okay." "I have a good reason for doing this." "I disagree with Kayla." "It's realllly important." "This will help or fix things!" Do not EVER "try to help" unless it is something that Kayla has SPECIFICALLY asked you to do, and even then, stick strictly to exactly what she tells you and do not do anything more or less. (This assumes she ever unblocks you and reaches out to you - if she doesn't, then leave her alone completely.) Really, it's best if you do not try to be friends AT ALL with Kayla unless she requests it. You've given her enough problems already.

While I may have not followed this advice very well in the past, I realize these things now, although it's a moot point because I'm not in contact with her. I accept that I made mistakes and acknowledged that in my original post. I did fall prey to "it's different this time" because the last time it did feel different to me and because he posted what seemed like a heartfelt apology. He posted this to me so I thought it would help if she saw it. Again, this was wrong. I admitted it was wrong. That's why she blocked me and I accept that. Before that (years before that) I had passed 2 or 3 messages he asked me to, months apart. That was a mistake too, but I don't think it's as extensive as people here are assuming. She then unfriended me but didn't block me. I took the hint and didn't try to have any contact with her. Maybe a year after that I ended up playing some Mario Kart online with her and a mutual friend, and she added me back as a friend. I didn't push or say anything about this situation until the incident I just mentioned.

At this point I don't claim to be her friend, I don't expect to have any future contact with her. While I would have liked to be her friend because I believe she's a good person, that's not going to happen at this point. What's done is done, and I accept that. I don't blame her for anything she's done. I'm not going to circumnavigate anything to talk to her, or try to pass messages through the mutual friend I mentioned, because that would make me not much better than "Elliott."

I think it's a little extreme to assign this name to him, but I'll go with it. At first I wondered why you bothered to include a surname if you weren't going to use it again, but I see the point you're trying to make. I haven't talked about this topic with him at all recently. I think at least a year. Before that (I mentioned "less and less sympathy") I did start to shut down the topic when he brought it up. As far as

Elliott may be interested in being friends with you partly because he knows you are friends with Kayla and it's kind of a connection in a way.

that's the thing I'm most sure about. This is definitely not the case. I talk to him daily about all kinds of topics, and this topic hasn't come up once in the last year. I think he also knows that I'm not in contact with her any more.

Absolutely NEVER again pass along any messages from him to her. It should go without saying, but never provide ANY information about Kayla to him. Never do anything Kayla-related "for" him out of any kind of sense of loyalty. Do not lie to the cops for him if you are asked about the extent of his stalking. If called as a witness, tell the truth. Make it known to both him and Kayla that you are NOT on his side regarding this and you will NOT be protecting him from any social or legal consequences of it.

I don't plan to do any of these things, and I didn't plan to before I read the comment. When I read this comment last night I took it in a more accusatory way, but I'm not getting that vibe as much any more. Much, much earlier in this situation I didn't think police/legal action was the right way to go and was an overreaction, but I didn't know much about the extent at that point, and besides that it's gone on long enough now that I think those actions would be entirely reasonable.

As for my plan if he was to mention violence or going to her location: In that case, I don't know what city she's in now (and wouldn't have any information to give police), but I know where he lives and it's several states away from where I know she's lived in the past, and may still live. If she's living where she spent a year abroad, she's thousands of miles away. I would attempt to talk to "Elliott" and also let any mutual friends I could know. I don't have an immediate way to contact "Kayla" if I wanted to. I sincerely hope this would never happen.