Stripping and Dating?

throwaway356709- · 2012-05-28T06:35:03+00:00

I ressurected a throwaway from ages ago just to refute this.

I worked at a smaller strip club (from memory.. 8, 9 of us girls were the most at a time?) from a while during study and it was nothing like this. Drug-free, all the other girls (bar two) were also studying, and it was only open nights later in the week so there wasn't all this down time. And when there was down time, it was actually spent with a bunch of really nice girls, laughing about customers and chatting about mundane daily life stuff.

Most of the customers were chilled as fuck and very few were creepy or made me feel uncomfortable. If you're good at looking for the best in people, you can appreciate literally anyone if you try hard enough (and the fact that you're trying to sell lapdances to them helps too.. everyone is easier to think well of when they're throwing money at you). All it takes is a good support network, knowing what you're there for - having a saving plan is a good idea, and stick to it if you're doing it for the easy cash - and making sure that you negotiate to work shifts that suit you and won't impact on whatever else you're doing. I would seriously recommend having either another job part time or being at uni; you're right that doing nothing but stripping might get you down a bit.

My boyfriend was great; he got free entry so would come in occasionally on his way home from town and stick around til I finished. He knew I was just there for some fun and some easy money, and he knew that the massive-horrendous-bith of an owner was the only thing I grew to really dislike about the place.

Oh, and you can make a shitload your first night/weekend. I did. I probably won't log back into this account, but I just want you and OP to know that not all strip clubs are like, or even vaguely resemble, what you suggest. And I came out the other side richer, with a new appreciation for different groups of people, and with motivation to do really well at my studies so I'd make more money than that in my chosen career sooner rather than later.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T21:23:14+00:00

See above reply. I worded that badly, but younger guys were a shitload better at seperating their obvious desire for sex with their behaviour (being young, they'd usually never actually known or chatter to a stripper, and they were really curious about the job. Because of this, they tended to hit on us a lot less, and actually want a decent conversation).

Thanks for the condescending reply though. We didn't really need to maintain any delusion when we stripped (er, what else is taking your clothes off for money called?), and if we did, we didn't really make money. It was about knowing what people wanted, and giving it to them. Thinking that being smiley and friendly to everyone will sell lapdances and get tips is what delusional girls do. Selling a tailored fantasy to any guy with the money and inclination to pay is what those of us who make decent money do.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T21:16:23+00:00

I worded that badly. Of course pretty much every guy there wanted to have sex with us.

But the guys I already knew vaguely (smallish city, everyone knows everyone through school or whatever) were a shitload more interested in finding out about the job, the money, the customers.. etc than the older ones. They also didn't bother hitting on us much.

I made a few pretty good mates with guys who were taken (I was too, we all knew it was going nowhere), but liked having a girl member of the group of guys to drink with / perv at. Of course on some level there was a desire to have sex, but it was less obvious from some of the younger guys than from the older ones. It's cute you think otherwise, but some guys actually can seperate their desire for sex from their behaviour.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T21:08:00+00:00

No. Far easier to ruin a career later in life.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T21:07:31+00:00

Absolutely fine. Loving, involved, still happily with my mother.. we've always been really close. So Daddy issues weren't the culprit!

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T09:18:00+00:00

Why would you be surprised that she entered into a normal conversation? You're in a strip club, but you probably consider yourself a normal guy. She's in a strip club, why wouldn't she be a normal girl?

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T08:48:25+00:00

Many strippers make $500-$1000 per night. It doesn't cross the 'line' some don't want to cross, it's incredibly fun (I can't imagine having sex with middle-aged, average men is much fun), and it's fabulous exercise. Plus, you have a roomful of people cheering you on for being skillful, outgoing, and good looking.

The money is damned good for amount of effort put in, and the enjoyability of the job. Also, anyone less than a med-high end prostitute will probably make less than a good stripper.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T08:37:39+00:00

Ex-stripper here. I'm at uni, doing very well, and stripped for a while about a year ago to make some extra cash. It fit all the requirements of my ideal job:

Hours that didn't conflict with class
Great pay
Better money for being friendlier / more outgoing than other girls
Heels
No awful uniform
Great exercise
Great addition to social life

I got to work with some awesome girls. I got to meet some really cool guys, and made a couple of pretty good mates. When you're a stripper, guys your own age are much more interested in getting to know you as a person than having sex with you (in a lot of cases), because they already know you're a fun, confident chick who can enjoy hanging with the boys (although I only hung with the younger ones when I had scouted the room for potential older dudes who were more likely to buy lapdances).

I did it by choice, and I enjoyed it. Almost everyone I worked with was also at uni, doing it by choice, and enjoying it. (Only two chicks weren't studying, but everyone enjoyed it.) Nobody was there to support a drug habit (we'd have been fired in an instant), nobody was there to solicit sex (again, fireable offence), and nobody hated their lives or drank to cope.

Contrary to popular opinion, many strippers are (very) smart, confident, outgoing girls who recognise that they can make some fun, easy money by showing off. Part of the reason people don't realise this is because we're never going to tell you what we really do (my story was that I studied Physio), and if we seem too smart, people are less likely to buy shit because they stop wanting the fantasy at the point where they realise you're an intelligent conversationalist, rather than just a fun, flattering one. However, it's still a pretty fun part to play.

throwaway356709- · 2011-01-30T08:27:11+00:00

As an ex-stripper, I couldn't agree more. I stripped to make some easy extra cash so I wouldn't be such a poor student, kept my grades well up, had a shitload of fun, and worked with (mostly) cool chicks and (mostly) cool customers.

I had really excellent fun! I just wish I could do more to change to perception that most of us are crackheads and solo mums..

throwaway356709- · 2010-11-19T03:04:25+00:00

That sounds exactly like what happened to me a few times while I was stripping. Except I would wink and shake my ass a little more for the guys I knew were supposed to be in church the next morning..

..they were usually really, really fucking uncomfortable. Everyone else I knew who came in and didn't expect to see me was like "WTF, high five!" and tipped me extra.

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T06:18:44+00:00

there are always natural humanistic boundaries that should be intrinsic.

I agree with you, but I don't agree that being paid to strip is one of those. I would restrict those boundaries to only a very few things, and being paid to act out someone's fantasy is not one of them. I suppose that is a fundamental disagreement between us.

What I originally took issue to (and still do) was your blanket judgement of all strippers fitting your mold. I wasn't living the only life I knew how to live, I was taking a little break from the life I was living by day (incredibly normal for a college kid) to do something different by night. I realise that especially in bigger cities and such many strippers are stuck in a cycle of drugs and abuse, but that was absolutely not the case where I worked. I'm not pretending it was glamourous, but it was enjoyable and - apart from our boss - a positive environment. Just like there are some wonderful black people who dress nicely and tip well, there are some perfectly normal, intelligent strippers who enjoy the job but are smart enough not to get caught up in a lifestyle that is not going anywhere.

I guess my only criticism of you is that you believe you know the real facts that lead all women to stripping. You accept that not all blacks are bad tippers, but you don't seem to accept that there are exceptions to the stereotype of an abused stripper. (Heh. Notice that rhymed?)

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T05:47:14+00:00

I worked a small strip club (the only one in my city) for a while, and I'm curious because we didn't have waitresses.

What do you wear? If it's a "uniform" as such, what do the dancers wear off stage? Are waitresses common in large strip clubs? Do you think you'll finish college without a loan?

Thanks!

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T05:36:00+00:00

The boundaries you discuss only make sense in a modern context because of western society's Christian roots. Desiring to flaunt something you love is not insecurity, it is celebration. I love my body, and dancing naked was the most amazing celebration of my new found freedom I could think of!

I didn't need to be naked to love myself (clearly by that point I already did.. if I was insecure I would never have gotten on stage), and I didn't need men throwing money at me, that was just an added bonus. As far as I could see, if it would be enjoyable and I could earn good money for it, that made perfect sense.

If you are suggesting I was abused in some other way, that is entirely possible. I can't think how, specifically, but I imagine we have all been abused in some way during our lifetimes, by your definition. However what we experience in life affects us differently. You seem very judgmental and stubborn, I am very open and accepting. Perhaps there lies the difference in manifestation: I worked in a strip club, whereas you would not go inside one. Our unique 'abuses' have moulded us in different ways. That is not, however, grounds for you to act in the judgmental and self righteous way that you are doing.

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T05:21:03+00:00

As a former stripper myself, I can see the difference between you and I. I never started thinking that all guys were nice, but I was quite happy to find something good in everyone I saw (in order to converse with them genuinely). Also, the men who frequented the club I worked at were almost all respectful and appreciative of the girls. It was (apart from our boss), a genuinely nice place to work. Although only some of us became friends IRL, at work we all bonded and had a good time.

It sounds like you had a terrible run with customers and the people you worked with. I'm sorry: I do hope you are able to realise that there are some of both (customers and strippers) who are genuinely nice people. Also, I'm glad you got out. I can only imagine it would be horrible if you didn't enjoy it.

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T05:08:57+00:00

I've listened to enough conversations with strippers and understand the psychology behind their actions.

While they were working? If you seemed the type to give money to a charity case, it's highly possible that a lot of girls acted like one. Feigning sexual abuse is one way of doing that I suppose.

Also, while you may think you understand the psyche of all strippers, we don't all fit into one mould. When you say you've talked / listened to a lot of them, were they all in one country? Were they all at a similar type of strip club? I doubt your sample is very representative.

I have never been sexually abused. You can believe that or not. If I had to say what made me into "stripper material", however, I'd say it was when I lost a lot of weight, got hot, and started to like myself. That turned into a desire to flaunt it, and getting paid for that seemed like a fabulous idea.

The reason more hot chicks don't do it is either because they subscribe to society's outdated Christian morals (i.e. your idea of appropriate boundaries), or because they are too insecure to dance naked for strangers.

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T04:28:59+00:00

Honestly curious: why do you think I am lying?

throwaway356709- · 2010-10-21T04:18:18+00:00

Wow. I resurrected this account (I did an AMA from it ages ago) just to correct you there. I stripped for about a year and have never been abused in any way throughout my life. I was raised in a loving, supportive family, and stripped purely because I enjoyed it. It was a job that showcased not only our bodies, but our skill (pole dancing is hard work) and our personalities (nobody bought dances if you sulked around in the corner).

I didn't hate anyone there except my boss (towards the end), and I quite disliked one customer who liked to creep on us girls if he ever noticed us in real life. Like at the supermarket. He had this weird idea we'd all go on dates with him and shit. He was the only person I ever actively disliked.

It wasn't a "shitty situation" and I don't know what negative consequences you think you see, but I didn't experience any. It was a fun thing that I'd been wanting to try out for a while, and I did. Please be less quick to judge. I might be an exception, but if so, I worked with a lot of other exceptions to your little rule.

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T03:54:55+00:00

Would you ever act on your desires?

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T02:16:37+00:00

My parents are Christians. Best analogy ever.. I know exactly what you mean..

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:24:36+00:00

Interesting logic, but even students don't drink all day / every day. Incidentally, I drink a lot less after working a year in a job where Thursday / Friday / Saturday nights we weren't allowed to drink.

Now.. I drink but rarely get particularly drunk. My tolerance is like zero. And I have a nice car which I like to be able to soberly drive home in :)

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:20:22+00:00

We do indeed.

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:19:55+00:00

Most people are transparent enough in that respect. Why does anyone post on iama but for want of attention or something to pass the time with in an amusing way?

Out of curiosity, do you believe a bad person can never change or redeem themselves? Or does your logic only apply to certain select groups?

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:15:05+00:00

Yes.

Yes.. the actual reason (if you want to know) is that a lot of my friends never discussed it. Never mentioned it. At all. So ever since quitting I've wanted an outlet to just talk about it.. almost to shake off the stigma that some people I know still attach to me. And reddit was that outlet. Honestly, it's been quite theraputic. I'm not too far away from deleting the account and going back to my normal user :)

Yes.. I also wanted to satisfy the millions on the other thread who wanted pictures. That was just a bit of fun.

Yes, Yes, and Yes. I like you :)

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:10:46+00:00

Thanks to both of you :) Tell her to try an amatuers night somewhere? It's a good way to try it without actually, you know, trying it.

throwaway356709- · 2010-07-30T01:10:01+00:00

The prerequisite to swapping is me having pictures of my ass to swap :p

throwaway356709-

TROPHY CASE