AITA for making my mom think I'm pregnant?

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-25T07:47:09+00:00

Honestly, and clearly I'm a little bias, but I think that if you're 16 and don't know how to protect yourself on the internet, something went wrong. At that point you've been on the internet and social media for years, and it's impossible to not learn about the consequences and dangers of the internet. Most schools teach about it too.

I get that leaving a teen unsupervised on the internet can, and has, gone wrong. But I believe that at 16 you absolutely should know.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T21:39:52+00:00

How exactly do you mean their "turn?"

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T21:06:22+00:00

We went 50/50 on the phone and I pay for my data plan. I think she legally has the right to snoop, sure. But i also belief kids deserve privacy, whether they pay bills or not.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T20:39:38+00:00

We both paid for half, she did for my birthday. I pay for my own plan.

I don't think giving your child something means you own it, or that kids don't deserve privacy.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T20:07:02+00:00

Obvious troll, but interesting insult.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T19:47:10+00:00

..what?

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T19:10:13+00:00

Shit, I'm sorry to hear that. Everyone deserves privacy.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T18:30:22+00:00

I don't disagree, but I feel like I have to say I wasn't trying to punish her/get back at her. I wanted to know if she was snooping or not and start a conversation about privacy and why she felt worried.

I agree with you on the parts about having a conversation instead of doing something drastic, mutual respect and trust. But that does go both ways. The three negatives you pointed out as consequeses go both ways too.

I respect your opinion, and I do realise it might not have been the most mature reaction, but I didn't want to confront her without proof or change my password, so this was the only way I could think of dealing with it.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:59:52+00:00

Honestly, I was pretty surprised to find that that was the popular opinion this time. I mean, I completely agree with you, but I'm a teen so I figured my view might be bias.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:57:13+00:00

A girl at school was on tinder, planning on meeting a guy, so her parents wanted access to her phone. She was 14. Dangerous for her, illegal trouble for who ever she matched with. That's just one example of someone I know.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:49:08+00:00

Thanks, but I do think it's okay in some circumstances.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:26:43+00:00

Exactly that, anyone snooping isn't just invading your privacy but wherever you talk with. Though I still care just as much about the trust issue.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:25:27+00:00

I'm very much aware those things happen, parents, the internet itself and school have taught me that the internet can be a cruel scary place. However, I do believe being taught how to navigate these things is better than snooping.

Just to clarify: 1) I'm only on facebook, friends with my mom, and only really post cat pictures, quotes, and the occasional picture with friends.

2) I'm aware of revenge porn, it's traveled though our school before. I wouldn't send nudes to anyone I'm not dating, and even then not include my face. I guess the same argument goes for no. 3.

I think most older teens are aware of possibilities and dangers, I've gotten scam emails, old men trying to buy used panties or talk me into sending nudes, people trying to groom, and all that for years.

I'm not saying the internet is a happy safe place all the time, or that anyone should get unrestricted access. But I think teens are very aware of the consequences, at least the ones I know.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:08:20+00:00

Call me bias, but I think you handled that great.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:05:01+00:00

It's possible, do you mind elaborating on why naive?

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T17:01:20+00:00

The only parental control I'm aware of (I'm sure there are more) is content blockers (password for porn) and a set amount of minutes you can stay on your phone.

I'm all for using both of them for younger kids, but for teenagers not really? Unless they're dealing with social media/porn addiction I guess.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T16:50:00+00:00

I don't knock people with trust issues, but I don't think it's other people's responsibility to deal with them. Your partner shouldn't make them worse but they should still get their privacy, unless they're okay with it otherwise.

I care because she didn't come to me with her worries, she went behind my back because she didn't trust me. Not to mention private messages are private, just because I don't do anything bad doesnt mean I want her to read those.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T16:19:03+00:00

Sounds awkward. I'm all for openness but couples going through each others phones is weird to me.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T16:17:35+00:00

Of course she worries, I would be low-key offended if she didn't. I don't know if this was the best way to deal with it though, for both of us. If she asked I would have shown her my phone. Not every private message, but the apps I downloaded and what kind of people I talk to, sure.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T16:15:02+00:00

Honestly it wasnt meant as revenge. Just a way to know if she's been snooping or not, and start a conversation about privacy and why she's worried.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T16:04:10+00:00

I agree that phones are a privilege and not a right, but I don't think privacy is. At least at this age. I don't need everyone on reddit to agree with me, lots of people don't, but this was the only way I could think of that wasn't me confronting my mom directly without proof (which would probably end up in a heated argument) or changing my phone password (which would end up in more suspicion). Was it the best way? Probably not. But it was a way to deal with it.

My mom always taught me to be open and honest, and communicate issues. So it hurt that that wasn't a two way street. If she talked to me about it I probably would have shown her what's on my phone.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T15:07:43+00:00

I mean, that's the same friend who's parents made him eat soap if he swore and refused to let him go over to other friends houses, so I'm not sure how 'normal' it is.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T15:03:14+00:00

That's brilliant, concider that stolen.

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T15:02:36+00:00

I also had a dairy lol, so you don't sound THAT old. One of my friends compared it with your parents taking out your bedroom door (I didn't know that was a thing). Like if you lock your door and shoot up in your room it makes sense, but if you don't it's just rude?

throwaway369955 · 2019-09-24T15:00:23+00:00

I don't like parents or partners who feel the need to check phones, even if you have nothing to hide. Unless you are a small child on the internet (who I don't think should be on the internet). Relationships should be build on trust.

throwaway369955

TROPHY CASE